I do agree that this is a depressing topic. While an interesting jumping board for sharing thoughts, it isn’t exactly a fun point to debate.

There isn’t necessarily an implicit breach of trust with a friend when a person has an affair. Many people couldn’t care less if their friends cheat, often because they don’t like the other spouse and if they are no children, the damage is often minimal, if any. Alternatively, affairs can sometimes save a marriage by giving one or both spouses the illusion of freedom or by merely letting them sample a different “fruit.” Who is any of us to impose our values on another person?

So while you may be right in some cases, and maybe even most, I think you are painting with far too broad a brush.

Again, you may view infidelity as a worse sin than other transgressions, but that doesn’t mean that everyone shares that view. For example, some people may hate tax cheats more than they hate adulterers. It’s a matter of values. I would also note that an affair does not have to be ongoing. it can be a one night stand.

Not every affair becomes public, so there is not necessarily collateral damage.

I hold a live and let live mentality. I guess not everyone feels that way. I understand that. You seem to have a far more rigid viewpoint.

(I have a meeting. I’ll check in later.)

Of course not, because me speeding is in no way a breech of my friend’s trust. Lying to him–explicitly or implicitly–as one does when one has an affair, does however breech that trust.

Yes, most everyone has told lies. I’m not sure how that furthers your point. In terms of scale, infidelity is a lie writ large. This isn’t telling your neighbor his haircut looks nice. Infidelity is an ongoing lie, usually further by a whole battery of smaller lies to both family and friends. It is a fundamental misrepresentation of self. If lies are bad, then infidelity is real bad.

As for the notion of collateral damage–it is, well, still damage. I suggest that infidelity (unlike speeding, to use your counter-example) is very much not a “smart bomb,” but rather explodes with a great deal of collateral damage. As such, it is flawed to say that the offense is victimless save the explicit “target” (the spouse).

Invoking a breach of public trust is to embark on a slippery slope. If that’s the standard, then a speeding ticket is also a violation since it is explicitly against the law. Unlike with infidelity, a speeding ticket also carries with it publicly imposed loss of property (i.e., a fine). Is that an offense against our friends as well?

Churches, and in turn, religion, also condemn lying. But few among us have never told a lie, be it large or small, whether it be for good or less good reasons.

So we can stretch the point beyond its logical limits in any direction for the sake of argument, but the point remains that there is something unique (and to some even sacred) contained in the marriage vows. All of which underscores the fact that the family unit is unique in comparison to any other relationship, and as a result, so is the trust and commitment that flow from it.

By this logic, a father should celebrate punishing his child, who deserves punishment for some transgression. I disagree.

Punishment (broadly speaking) may be just and/or deserved, but rarely should it be a moment of celebration. And when it comes to the loss of life, even the life of the “guilty,” it is always tragic, IMHO.

Man, this is a bummer topic. I’d rather make fun of the Blue Jays in the other thread!

[11] If he “deserved to be killed” then I definitelty think it makes the death less tragic. In fact, it would make it something to celebrate. In your example, the tragedy woudn’t be the execution of the murder, but his decision to take innocent lives in the first place.

I definitely can’t agree with you that that McNair made choices that left his children fatherless. While he did make a grave mistake, that doesn’t mean he should have been killed, nor even suspected that he might be killed. Too often victims are blamed for putting themselves in the position of being victimized. This is such an instance, IMHO.

Look at it this way. I may think that a murderer deserves to be put to death. But I also think that the death is a tragedy; I think it is tragic whenever an individual’s life is lost before its time, when his talents and potential are frittered away (or even turned against the common good).

So, yes, mourn McNair’s death as a tragedy. Mourn too the death of his mistress. But let’s not whitewash that he made what appears to be some pretty bad choices in this instance, choices that left a wife husbandless and (possibly) children fatherless.