My wife doesn’t like yelling or screaming. It makes her uneasy. So you can imagine the scene during a ball game. She can put up with me only so long. I’m far less volatile than I once was, honest. But the truth is, my wife just doesn’t get it.
The Yankees had a 3-0 lead in the second inning when Alex Rodriguez came to the plate with the bases loaded and two out. Johnny Damon hit his second double of the game two batters earlier–it bounced over the center field fence, keeping Derek Jeter, who singled for his second time in as many at bats, at third, a bad break for the Yankees. Mark Teixeira walked and then Rodriguez popped out.
So I yelled. My wife got annoyed and said, “What’s your problem? They’re winning.”
Like I said, she doesn’t get it. Ah, if only her name was Mae.
Joba Chamberlain had a tight breaking ball working in the first couple of innings but he labored in the third as he lost command of his fastball and sure enough coughed-up the lead. Scott Richmond, on the other hand, got his act together. He featured a hard, sharp slider and a wicked 12-6 curve ball and struck out eight. After getting Rodriguez out, Richmond pitched four scoreless innings. Each starter went six.
I watched the game with a puss on my face. I stopped yelling, opting to stew instead. At least my cat, Moe Green (pictured below), understands. I resisted the temptation to tell my wife a thing or three about baseball and how the game works. It was not easy to hold my tongue, believe me. But why be a schmuck?

Jesse Carlson, the left-hander who struck Jorge Posada out in a twelve-pitch at bat on Monday night, came in to pitch the eighth. Godzilla Matsui hit a 2-2 pitch deep to right but foul. Next pitch, different result, as Matsui hit a bomb into the right centerfield seats, tying the game. Posada was next and he skied a back-door breaking ball deep to right. Joe Inglett, his back to the wall, jumped and missed the ball. A fat man wearing a beige Yankee cap and an off-white Mickey Mantle t-shirt stood in the first row and placed his black mitt on top of the wall. The ball fell into the pocket, another cheapie Yankee Stadium dinger, and the Yanks had the lead. The home run was reviewed but it stood–nice job by the fan.
Melky Cabrera, celebrating his 25th birthday, added an RBI single (his second RBI of the game) against Josh Roenicke and Damon drove the birthday boy home with an RBI base hit of his own–his third hit of the day (he was also robbed of a double). Jeter had three hits as well.
With one out the ninth, Mariano Rivera left a cutter over the heart of the plate and Edwin Encarnacion crushed it over the center field fence for a home run. Rivera grimaced–hey, that’s how I’ve been feeling all night!, I said (…to myself). A base hit to Rod Barajas brought the tying run to the plate. But Rivera caught Inglett looking at an outside fastball, and got Marco Scutaro to chase a cutter to end the game.
Final Score: Yanks 7, Blue Jays 5.
Fist pumps and cheers. Relief.
My wife resisted the urge to tell me a thing or three about the Yankees. She did not call me a schmuck–even if that is what she was thinking–and we went to bed happy.

