Obsessively shielding weakness is not strength, though it doesn’t mean you have to walk around exposed at all times to be strong either.

But that’s one of the great things about Dexter, he’ll rarely hit something directly on the head. He’ll dance around it and then let you make up your own mind. In this case, he didn’t need to slam Brown because you had a pretty strong reaction to him anyway.

[4] See, that’s what I mean though. The end (both of them) served to soften Brown for me, when what I wanted as a reader (and this says more about me than anything else) was for that final knife in the belly, and explicit “hey what a jackass this guy is.” Instead, I got a big old grey area where he’s able to show some caring, just not enough to bring him all the way back to “an OK guy” for me.

But I know a lot of guys who are terribly uncomfortable with it. Some women may cry to get their way because they know it reduces guys to jelly fish. And sometimes, crying just happens at different times. Hell, some women like to cry alone, others will cry at the drop of a hat.

I think the thing that shows toughness is being able to have compassion even when you don’t understand. That’s empathy, man, and that is really tough. Showing up when things are vulnerable and uncertain is just the opposite of weak. A guy like Brown is such a control freak, and so egotistical, that he could never see through himself to be warmly disposed toward others. But that kind of behavior is common for star athletes and actors and other artists.

It wasn’t a deliberate thing, he just couldn’t deal with weakness. Hospitals, sickness, death.

It’s crazy because a lot of my male friends are wired the same way, so it’s easy to be that way around them. It’s seen as a sign of strength to not show any weakness.

On the other hand, though I can be compassionate and caring with my gf, I still struggle with the opposite sex when it comes to a perception of weakness. For example, the right time to hug someone when they start crying. Like if I see my gf crying because she’s having a bad day, then I have a hard time understanding it. But if I see someone crying after losing a loved one, then it makes a lot more sense. Random acts of crying are very hard for me to deal with. Crying with a purpose makes a lot more sense.

The same with being sick and not trying to fight through it.

BTW Dina [3], awesome comment. Agreed!

The more I think about this piece, the more I realize I kept waiting either for Dexter to really condemn Brown for his arrogance and selfishness, or for some sort of redemption for him, like he went back to his grandmother’s bedside or something. I think it shows his skill and restraint as a writer that he didn’t need to do that though. He just let Brown speak for himself and that was all the condemnation that was needed.

Funny part is Dexter doesn’t remember these pieces too well. I don’t know that he’d be especially proud of any of them necessarily. Read “Spooner,” that’s got some joy in it. Hey, it’s even got a guy screwing a chicken.