You gots to chill.

Rest in Peace, Christopher Hitchens, a prolific and gifted critic. He was a worker.

[Photo Credit: Gasper Tringale]

In “Hannah and her Sisters,” Woody Allen goes to the Metro movie theater on Broadway and watches “Duck Soup,” the Marx Brothers’ finest movie and it restores his faith in life. I wasn’t have any kind of life crisis last night, there was just nothing on TV that interested me, so I put on “Animal Crackers,” the Marx Brothers’ second movie. It was released in 1930 and based on the stage play of the same name.

I hadn’t watched it in a few years and I laughed a lot. Pressed pause and said to the wife, “Look at Harpo, watch this, watch this,” and then laughed some more.

Later, she looked up from her book and said, “Wait, so that’s where you got that line from?”

Yup.

Watching the Marx Brothers makes life better.

Trying to maintain low expectations about the Yu Darvish bidding, I wondered what the Yankees could do with all that money when they don’t get him. It would be nice to get both Cespedes and Soler in the system as the Yankee outfield gets very thin very fast after this year.

Perhaps because I’m in the process of finding presents for the extended family and because there’s a lot of talk around the coffee machine this morning about the Mets terrible financial situation, I thought about how the Yankees could help their fellow New Yorkers.

The Mets need money. How much? More. When? Yesterday. So here is a Christmas gift to the Mets: $22,000,000.00. The Yankees trade A.J. Burnett straight up for Johan Santana.

The Yankees rid themselves of the annual Burnett headache. By ERA, Burnett was the second worst starting pitcher in baseball since 2010. But ERA can be misleading. Don’t worry though, by FIP, he was the third worst.

Johan Santana from one point of view, was even worse than Burnett. Santana broke down in 2009 and then again in 2010 and didn’t pitch at all in 2011. And he’s coming off surgery to repair the anterior capsule of his left shoulder – one of the nastiest surgeries a pitcher can undergo. His level of performance for the rest of his contract, the same gauranteed length as Burnett, is a total mystery.

In this deal, the Yankees would give the Mets the gift of 22 million dollars (Santana’s gauranteed $55 million over the next two year and while A.J. Burnett will get $33 million over the same time span) and a reliable innings eater (reliably bad, but hey, count that money again) for the gamble that Johan Santana can bounce back into something special, or at least into a shadow of something special.

I have no idea if Santana will be any good as he tries to come back. But if he gets on the mound and he’s among the worst pitchers in baseball next year, he can only be two or three rungs below where A.J. Burnett has taken up residence.

I know there are better ways to spend $22 million than on a roll of  the dice on Johan Santana’s recovery. If you can’t believe in a little magic during the holiday season though, when can you?

UPDATE: A report has the Toronto Blue Jays with the winning bid for Darvish.

“Blue Skyscrappers,” By Lyonel Feininger (1937)

When Albert Pujols decided to break his 11-year bond with the St. Louis Cardinals, there was much lament expressed about the perceived gradual decline in one-team, or legacy, players. Upon closer inspection, however, it appears as the practice of playing a long career in only one uniform has never really been that prevalent, which makes this rare breed all the more special.

Legacy Players by Franchise

Note: Based on a minimum of 10 seasons and 4,000 plate appearances with one team for positions players, and 10 seasons for pitchers. Year of retirement is used as basis for enumeration.
Source: Baseball-reference.com

As illustrated by the chart above, the Yankees have had more legacy players than any other team. Beginning with Lou Gehrig and continuing on to current players like Mariano Rivera, Derek Jeter, and Jorge Posada, the Yankees have featured a litany of Hall of Fame players who never suited up for another team. This royal line of all-time greats has not only helped the Bronx Bombers compile one of the most impressive records of success in all of sports, but also created a rich history that has become an integral component of the Yankees’ brand.

Legacy Yankees

Source:Baseball-reference.com

The Yankees have had 19 “franchise players” (which could grow to 22 if the three aforementioned members of the core four retire in pinstripes), including several who are considered to be among the very best players in the history of the game. In comparison, the bottom-15 teams on the legacy chart (including six teams that do not have any) only have 16 such players combined. Despite this stark contrast, many teams do boast at least one prominent franchise player. Lists containing each team’s most tenured legacy position player and pitcher are presented below.

Leading Legacy Position Players and Pitchers, by Franchise

Note: Listed players lead their respective franchises in games played with only one team. * Denotes a Hall of Famer.
Source:Baseball-reference.com

Not surprisingly, many of the players included on the lists above are in the Hall of Fame. Among the position players, 60% are enshrined in Cooperstown, while 35% of the pitchers (and 55% of the starters) have a plaque hanging in the Hall’s gallery. Although most of the players, even those not in the Hall, are household names, there are also some who are rather obscure. None, however, were as futile as Pete Suder, who not only ranks as the Athletics’ all-time games leader among legacy players, but managed to post a negative WAR despite being afforded such longevity.

Stan Musial, Carl Yastrzemski, and Cal Ripken all made much better use of their opportunities than Suder. That trio comprises a select fraternity of players who appeared in over 3,000 games, all for one team. Meanwhile, Walter Johnson’s 935 games with the Senators easily outdistances all other legacy pitchers. However, it should be noted that when Mariano Rivera retires (assuming he ever does), his 1,042 games (and counting) would easily surpass the Big Train, although Johnson would retain the title among starters.

Potential Legacy Players

Note: Includes those players who meet the criteria outlined in the exhibits above, but who have not yet retired.
Source: Baseball-reference.com

Other current players creeping up on the list of legacy leaders include Chipper Jones, who could become the first Braves’ position player to spend at least 10 seasons and 4,000 plate appearances with the franchise. Similarly, Carlos Zambrano, Aaron Cook, Michael Young and Todd Helton could also become their franchise’s first legacy player/player, assuming they don’t sign with another team before retiring. Finally, Derek Jeter and Ichiro Suzuki are also in line to join the list by overtaking Mantle and Edgar Martinez, respectively, for their team’s leadership position.

How important is it for a player to spend his entire career with one team? Does it matter that Ron Santo, the quintessential Cub, played his final season for the cross-town White Sox? Or that Willie Mays and Hank Aaron capped off their historic careers by returning to the cities where they started, but with a different franchise? How many people even know Yogi Berra had nine plate appearances with the Mets, Christy Mathewson pitched his last game with the Reds, and Ty Cobb passed the 4,000-hit plateau wearing the uniform of the Philadelphia Athletics? Granted, in situations like Albert Pujols’, when a player splits a long career with two different teams, there can be a conflict of loyalties, but for the most part, staying true to only one team is little more than trivia bookkeeping. It may be fun to discuss and romanticize, but lasting legacies are created by the impact a player makes in a uniform, not how long he wears it.

Check out the first part of a video essay series on Steven Spielberg. From Matt Zoller Seitz, Ali Arikan, and Serena Bramble.

You will be mine, you will be mine, all mine.

[Photo Credit: The Daily Life Happenings of Kluzzy]

More gift ideas. If you like black tea, orange pekoe is the way to go. Either of these brands of loose tea will do you right.

Last night I was on Broadway and 103rd street buying flowers for the wife before I got on the train. Who should come out of the bodega but an old friend. My cousin’s best friend for more than forty years (this is my cousin, the film editor, who was responsible for hooking me up with my first job in the movie business). The two of them told me about “The Rocky Horror Picture Show,” and took me to see “Valley Girl” when I was a kid, a big deal because it was a rated R movie; I covered my eyes every time there was a nude scene.

I remembered seeing that movie with them just a few days ago and now here was my cousin’s friend in front of me. I don’t remember the last time I’d seen her.

We caught up and made plans to get together. Then a woman I worked with in the movie business walked up to us.

My cousin’s friend said goodbye and now I was talking to another old friend. We’d worked together on “The Big Lebowski.” I was in the picture department and she was in the music department. We too caught up on old times–she still works in sound editing, is getting married next month–and when it came time to say goodbye I quoted her favorite line from “Lebowski,” a line we used to say to each other all the time during the post-production of that show.

I started down the subway steps and said, “Gave the Dude a beeper.”

And she said, “Gave the Dude a deeper.”

I was halfway down the steps when I heard a male voice, guy walking down the street, say, “Gave the Dude a beeper.”

How odd yet cool to have worked on a movie that became a cult hit. And how wonderful to have a New York Minute with old friends.

[Photo Credit: digger-cb]

Open thread as we await word on Yu Darvish.

Oh, yeah, word has it the Sox have picked up former Yankee Mark Melancon in a trade with the Astros, and also signed the one and only Nick Punto to a two-year deal.

[Photo Credit:  Rabbit Hare]

Dig these impressive photographs of San Francisco…

by the most-gifted Troy Holden.

Here’s another gift idea for you. It ain’t cheap but it’s a beautiful vinegar, a nice indulgence for someone special.

Living in New York I have developed great appreciation for long lines. Only rarely have I been disappointed after waiting (I’m looking at you, Matrix 2 & 3) and have found that if you bring a cheery attitude to the queue, that it becomes an enjoyable part of the overall experience. I ate the best breakfast of my life when, across the street from the Tokyo fish market, I chose the Sushi Shop with the longest line. I’ll wait out any Shake Shack location with a smile.

My family stood in one of those long lines at the Bronx Botanical Gardens this weekend. We queued up for the Holiday Train Show outside the main entrance under a big tent. It was cool so we were comforatable in our winter jackets. They even gave us tickets and broke us down by entrance times. Scattered around the tent were information placards describing what we were about to see. We learned that all of the building models are made entirely of plant parts. As far as lines go, I was impressed.

When our time arrived, we walked into the main entrance. But instead of entering directly into the exhibit, we came upon a large vestibule. There were a couple of spectacular models of a mansion and an air port, but they were impossible to access because of the chaotic mob of people. We only had to navigate a 50-foot curve around a fountain to get into the exhibit, but the mob had to funnel to single file while standing still. Inside the greenhouse, it’s 80 degrees.

All around us people were disintegrating. A old White woman pushing a wheelchair barked, “You people need to move!” The young Black father directly ahead of her asked her pointedly if she wanted to run over his two young kids. She yelled back that she didn’t run over his kids so he shouldn’t take offense. He kept his cool, though he was not giving her the last word on the matter. I noted to the woman that neither the father nor the kids, nor anyone else in the vestibule could move anywhere and that they would move when they could. It didn’t help. She was lost in the semantics of the argument and the father, who I thought was justified to take offense in the first place, let it drop and moved away from the wheelchair when he could.

We were already single file out in the tent! Why on earth they allow hell-on-earth to take shape inside the vestibule, I’ll never understand, but armed with the proper cheery attitude we shed our jackets and shuffled our feet occasionally until we finally tumbled to the base of the funnel.

The models of the buildings and bridges were incredible, but I expected the trains themselves to be cooler and omnipresent. The buildings require a lot of scrutiny to figure out which plant parts comprise the structures, but when two kids are bolting from train to train, scrutiny is not an option.

Cheery had wilted to ho-hum in the heat, but then, just after the midway point, I heard Jude shout out, “Yankee Stadium!”

Long live the long line.

Apropos of nothing, dig this:

Joe Martz’s photo of his George Brett action figure.

I love this shot.  Reminds me of how much I hated Brett, with the utmost respect, when he was a player. Guy killed the Yankees and was a dick about it, too. Ah, the good ol’ days.

Over at SI.com, Joe Sheehan writes that the Texas Rangers are the ideal spot for one Prince Fielder:

The Rangers have a hard team to improve. They’re set at just about every position, and in many spots, for years to come. Three of their four infielders — plus DH/UT Michael Young — are under team control through at least 2013. Nelson Cruz and Cuban import Leonys Martin, 2/3 of the outfield, are locked in through then as well. The team’s projected 2012 starting rotation includes just one pitcher, Colby Lewis, who can leave before 2015. Only catcher Mike Napoli and outfielder Josh Hamilton can become free agents after 2012, and the team has shown interest in locking up both players beyond that. While the Rangers would like to add a top-tier starting pitcher, they seem to be looking to do that in trade market rather than trying to sign Edwin Jackson, who–despite my case for him–isn’t seen as front-of-the-rotation material. The Rangers also have a good farm system that is particularly deep in pitching backing up the major league roster.

At first base, though, the team has Mitch Moreland splitting time with the veteran Young. Young is primarily a DH now, and his inexperience at first was a key part of the Rangers’ Game 6 loss in the World Series. Moreland is 26 and in a bit over a season’s worth of games has hit .258/.331/.427 in the majors, basically league-average performance. He recently underwent surgery on his right wrist that may limit his performance or availability at the start of 2012. Healthy, Moreland may be an average first baseman; he will never hit in the middle of the order for this team. He’s not someone who blocks Prince Fielder, who would make the Rangers three wins a year better, at minimum, over the next few years.

Meanwhile, the wait for Yu Darvish is on.

True Indeed.

[Photo Credit: Through My Blue Eye]

Winning anecdotes about my two favorite Yankees in the same wonderful career retrospective?

And Happy Holidays to you, SI and Walter Iooss JR.

This has to be the Reggie shot he is talking about, right?

[Photos by Walter Iooss Jr.]

Check out these cool 1961 Golden Press cards at The Virtual Card Collection. I found them through another dope site, Paris LF.

Bookmark this one–Paris LF–it’s a keeper.