I can’t listen to this without cracking up.

A Vanishing Art 

By John Schulian

Somewhere along the line, human beings went out of fashion in America’s sports pages. You wouldn’t think it was possible, given that flesh-and-blood people play our games, but the tastemakers have deemed statistics and cockeyed opinion more important. There are exceptions, of course, like Joe Posnanski when he was pounding out a humanity-infused daily column that would have been a treasure in any era. And there are others who would love to craft character sketches and mood pieces, but realize that won’t put any biscuits on their table. And then there are the glory seekers who latch onto people only when they have a sob story to tell, because sob stories win prizes. But all the prizes tell me is that the writers who chase them so shamelessly are manipulative at best, hypocritical at worst. Forgotten are the small dramas that are played out every day in sports, and the people who inhabit them, and the artistic impulses they stir.

Over lunch, a friend who has just finished writing a non-fiction book about a boxer tells me he used a column of mine from 1980 as part of his research. The column opened with someone describing Joe Frazier’s manager, Yank Durham, in full flower as a hard ass. Frazier was about to fight Ron Stander, whom he could have beaten blindfolded, but Durham bitched loud and long about some TV lights he said were part of a plot to blind Smokin’ Joe. The people televising the fight pleaded innocent, but Durham refused to believe them. “That’s it,” he said. “We ain’t fightin’.” The TV people went into shock. So, for that matter, did Frazier. But Durham didn’t let up until the lights were taken down. That was how boxing worked then, and that’s how it works now. The guy with the biggest balls wins.

“Great column,” my friend said, “but you couldn’t write it today.”

I couldn’t write it because I used the tools of fiction – character, dialogue, dramatic tension – to depict a hard man in a hard business. I couldn’t write it because I populated the column with human beings, and I didn’t pass judgment on them. It was up to the reader to choose between Yank Durham and the TV people. I thought it was permissible for a columnist to do that. What did I know?

Let me tell you what else I couldn’t write today. Once in a great while, I would do a column about duende, an Andalusian word that is best defined by example: Willie Mays had duende, Henry Aaron didn’t; the Rolling Stones had it, the Beatles didn’t. I was borrowing shamelessly from the late George Frazier, an eccentric general interest columnist who made his last stand at the Boston Globe with a red carnation in the lapel of his Brooks Brothers suit and a quote from F. Scott Fitzgerald for every situation. I was following in the tradition that inspired many another columnist to borrow Jimmy Cannon’s pet gimmick, “Nobody asked me, but . . . ” You didn’t think Mike Lupica came up with “Shooting from the Lip” by himself, did you? He and I were indulging in what Hollywood likes to call “an homage” because it sounds so much better than “theft.”

Whatever, I had a fine time passing myself off as an arbiter of style in my duende columns. In fact, I would encourage today’s columnists to do the same, but my friend Randy Harvey, once an intrepid sports writer and now one of the top editors at the L.A. Times, says duende wouldn’t fly. The wounded look on my face when I hear his verdict seems to touch something deep inside him, though. “Okay,” Randy says, “I’d let you write duende once a week if your other three columns were on the Lakers.” Call me an ingrate, but that still doesn’t sound like such a great deal.

I’m the product of an era when a sports columnist was pretty much left to his own devices. Sometimes the news dictated what I wrote about, and sometimes there were subjects that just couldn’t be ignored whether I was interested in them or not. But the rest of the time, my column reflected who I was, for better or worse. When I wrote a sad one, it was because the subject touched my inner blues man. When I did a rip job, I was putting my mean streak on display. But never was I so infatuated with myself that I thought readers wanted a dose of my opinions every day. They were smart enough to figure out where I was coming from personally and politically without my beating them about the head and shoulders with the first person.

More than anything else, I wanted to write about the human condition, good or bad, happy or sad. The fact that the people I wrote about wore uniforms, had their names in headlines, and cashed big paychecks for their labors was mere coincidence. The important thing was to let my readers know that their heroes were people, too, not the remote gods who dwell in the parallel universe that exists today.

One of the beautiful things about newspaper work is that you never know whom you’re reaching, or what your words mean to them. There are letters to the editor and angry phone calls, of course, but there are also the personal notes that become small treasures. And one night at the Chicago Sun-Times, I heard the highest praise I ever received. It came from the cleaning lady who swept the floor and emptied the wastebaskets in the sports department. She had a bad eye and a balky hip that crabbed her stride, and she was there the day I started at the paper and probably long after I left it. I’d say hello to her, but I never wondered whether she read the paper or, if she did, made it as far as the sports section. But when she reached my corner of the office that night, she looked at me and said, “You got a lot of soul.”

I know I thanked her more than once. Other than that, everything is a blank. I’m only guessing when I say I think she liked a column I had written about Johnny Bratton, a former welterweight champion who was living on the street. But maybe the subject isn’t as important as the fact that this woman had seen something in my work that had nothing to do with winners and losers and everything to do with the forces that drove me.

Still, there were times I wasn’t aware of just how much of myself I was revealing in print. I’m thinking of one column in particular, written in 1983 about regrets and missed opportunities. It opened with my musings on the White Sox, who were very good that year, as I drove home from Wisconsin on a rainy late-summer night, and then it veered into personal territory I rarely visited. By the time I finished writing, I had quoted William Blake and Tom T. Hall and pretty much revealed myself to be a ball of confusion. I could feel the first rumblings of profound changes in my life, and change was a stranger to me.

A few days later, I ran into a documentary maker named Ken Solarz and the first thing he said was, “Man, you were really hurting.” Though he and I would later arrive in Hollywood at about the same time and become great friends, I barely knew Kenny then. But he was very perceptive. I was hurting. And it would only get worse.

Click here for the full “From Ali to Xena” archives.

Orlando Hernandez has officially retired.

Other Yankees have been around longer. Other Yankees contributed more to the last dynasty. And certainly, many other Yankees were consistently better. But El Duque is one of the first guys I think of from that era. As a morbidly pessimisstic fan in those days (I think I’ve evolved past the morbid part in the intevening decade), no other starter inspired security like El Duque.

I’ll never forget the first inning of the 1999 ALDS against the powerful Rangers lineup. Pudge doubled with one out and El Duque faced the heavy hitters. He gave the lefties Greer and Palmeiro nothing at all and walked them both to load the bases. But the righties Gonzalez and Zeile he attacked with his full arsenal and exploited their aggression with ever-widening sliders until he had them fishing for pitches a foot outside.

And if there was a more crucial postseason game in the three-peat than his his ballsy victory in Cleveland in Game Four of the 1998 ALCS, I don’t know if I want to remember.

His pitching style was unforgettable and almost impossible to replicate on the stick-ball blacktop, though it didn’t stop us from straining our gluts giving it a try. His feisty confidence was refreshing and his arguments with Posada during mound visits were always entertaining.

When he walked those Texas lefties, there was no doubt it was part of a master plan. Perhaps that plan was a little foolish and left too little margin for error, but I don’t think El Duque ever worried that it wouldn’t work. And watching at home, I wasn’t worried either, which is probably why he was my favorite starter.

The Yankees had two players during the most recent dynasty who delivered performances vastly better than their career statistics would have you believe was possible. The great Mariano and El Duque. Mariano went from Hall of Famer to statistical impossibilty in the Postseason and El Duque, a quality middle-of-the-rotation arm, turned into Bob Gibson.

His baseball-reference page will have my kids wonder what all the fuss was about. I can’t wait to tell them.

I won’t abide lousy service in a restaurant, never mind smugness. My wife thinks I’m nuts, even though she’s the same way with clerks in retail stores. I don’t just want a waiter to be attentive, I want them to be warm and knowledgeable.  Earlier this summer, we went a trendy restaurant near Columbia and I asked the waiter what he’d recommend. He pointed at the menu and said, “Well, it’s all really good,  you can’t go wrong.”

Right, then.

On that note, check out this recent GQ column by Alan Richman:

I should long ago have paid attention to this disastrous decline in service. Casualness in restaurants does not automatically make customers feel more relaxed. It often has the opposite effect. Remember how tense my friends became when we received no attention at M. Wells.

I appreciate an atmosphere lacking formality. I love Momofuku Ssäm Bar in Manhattan and Schwa in Chicago, both unpretentious and unfussy—but also attentive. They employ people who know how to take orders, fill glasses, clear plates, drop checks. Neither neglects customers. These days, too many new restaurants do. Their motto might as well be Too Cool to Care.

Well-run restaurants recognize that thoughtful service enhances an evening out, and that a bit of formality might be required in order to reach that goal. Customers these days tend to confuse discipline and manners with arrogance. Perhaps they are remembering the excess stuffiness of decades past. That hardly exists any longer. Arrogance today is exhibited by inconsiderate servers who do almost nothing for customers other than slap plates down in front of them and expect a generous tip. Arrogance is a restaurant believing it can prosper without looking after its customers.

I will tell you what else is extraordinarily self-defeating: We empower popular restaurants, and M. Wells is very much one of them. All we care about is accessibility, getting through the door. Such restaurants are rarely held accountable, no matter how uncaring they might be. I doubt that the people who operate these sought-after spots ask themselves if they are treating their customers properly. They are not obliged to do so.

M. Wells gets the Gas Face.

Here’s another gem from Pete Dexter.

The Old Man and the River

By Pete Dexter

Early morning, Seeley Lake, Montana. The sun has touched the lake, but the air is dead still and cooler than the water, and the fog comes off the surface in curtains, hiding some of the Swan Range three miles to the east. And in doing that, it frames the rest. It is the design here, I think, that nothing is taken without compensation, except by men and fires. They leave all the holes.

On the lake a cutthroat trout breaks the surface; pieces of it follow him into the air. He breaks it again, falling back. The water mends itself in circles; the circles disappear. You could never say exactly where, but that’s how things mend; it’s how you get old, too. Not that they are necessarily different things. The place is quiet again. The sun has touched the lake, but the lake still belongs to the night. To the night and to the old man.

He is in the main room of the cabin putting wood on the fire. I hear him humming—a long, flat note, more electric than musical. I think it is a sound he makes without hearing it. He moves from the fireplace to the kitchen wearing a fishing hat, runs lake water out of the spigot into a dented two-quart pan, puts that on the stove to heat. He starts a pot of coffee, leaves it on a counter, and pushes out the door to urinate in the yard. He and his father built the cabin in 1922 as a retreat from whatever civilization there was in Missoula, and they didn’t do it to come down off the mountains and have to look at an indoor toilet.

He comes back in, humming, and surveys the kitchen. He scratches his cheek, remembering where he is. He locates the coffeepot, checks to see what is inside. Part of him is somewhere else. Probably not so much of him that he’d piss in the fireplace and throw the wood out the door, but it isn’t impossible.

The guess is that the part of the old man that’s not in the kitchen is someplace tangent to August of 1949, Mann Gulch, Montana, where thirteen of sixteen smoke jumpers were killed in the first hours of a wildfire that got into the crowns of the trees there. He is in the last chapter of that story now—the jumpers have become his jumpers, he looks at tall trees and imagines fire in their tops, sucking the oxygen out of the air, and feels how helpless a man is in its presence—and while it’s still three hours until he sits down and puts himself back in Mann Gulch to confront it, he is headed there already, feeling his way over what has already been done, measuring what is left.

As far as I know, that’s the only pleasure there is in writing—until something’s finished, anyway. And the old man works carefully and is entitled to his time alone with what he’s done. I stay in bed looking out the window, waiting for him to call me for breakfast.

(more…)

A few weeks ago I saw a cat sitting outside of my apartment building. I looked at his tag and called the number.  Maybe he was lost. No answer.  I assumed it was a “he,” don’t ask me why but he looked healthy. Didn’t look lost either.I pet him and the cat meowed and I left for work. A few days later I saw him up the block. I passed by and said hello and he meowed back. Then this morning I saw him around the corner, standing guard. I wasn’t worried about him anymore.

Boom.

Greetings, Banterers. The Yankees moved into first place in the AL East tonight – for now –  in a sloppy 9-7 win over the Royals that didn’t relly make anyone except Robinson Cano look good. Ivan Nova didn’t have it, but neither did the Royals pitchers, and Cano’s mega-homer in the interminable fourth inning was the difference. Nova gave up all seven of those runs in 5 and a third,  and while one might hope that nine runs would be enough for an easy victory, this was tighter than it should’ve been. Nova’s exceeded expectations enough that I’m willing to spot him a few, however, and KC pitcher Danny Duffy (who has a fantastic mlb.com profile photo, by the way) gave up eight in just three, so maybe it was one of those something-in-the-water games.

Ned Yost  got ejected arguing balls and strikes on Duffy’s behalf in that fourth inning, but Cano hit his monster shot immediately afterwards to cap off a great 12-pitch battle, so apparently getting tossed didn’t have quite the fire-up-the-troops effect Yost was going for. Though again, it was a great at-bat from Cano, and Duffy hardly disgraced himself although things did not exactly go his way.

Also coming through for New York were Derek Jeter (now up to .283 and OBPing .344, though with no slugging percentage to speak of), Mark Teixeira, Russell Martin and Brett Gardner; the bullpen quartet of Boone Logan, Rafael Soriano, Dave Robertson, and Mo, who seems to be just fine, thankyouverymuch.

I’d be shocked if the Red Sox didn’t take the lead back at least once or twice, and frankly surprised if they didn’t end up with it, given the eyebrow-raising nature of the Yanks’ rotation. But hey, it’s gotten them this far. Starting tomorrow: the Incredible Colon.

Nova on the hill.

Derek Jeter SS
Curtis Granderson CF
Mark Teixeira 1B
Robinson Cano 2B
Nick Swisher RF
Andruw Jones DH
Russell Martin C
Eduardo Nunez 3B
Brett Gardner LF

No frills:

Let’s Go Yank-ees!

[Photo Credit: R. Swan]

A beautiful young women boarded the train this morning and sat down in the seat right next to me. Right behind her was a dad and his pre-teen daughter. The dad suggested that the daughter shift one seat to her left so he could sit next to the beautiful young woman on her other side.

He turned away from his daughter and started talking to the woman. They were strangers, but had just met on the platform when he noticed she had some paperwork from a graduate program he recognized. What followed was possibly just normal chit-chat, but I viewed it as a come-on all the way.

The dad was speed talking and never once turned back to his daughter. They lived in the same area and he mentioned that he had a dog and it sparked something in the young woman’s memory. “Do you have that little, black dachshund?” she asked.

He was wounded. “Do I look like the kind of guy that would have a dachshund?” he answered in a tone the demanded an answer.

“Well, no. I guess,” she said. But she was just giving him what he needed at that point.

“I’ve got an 80 pound lab, a real monster.”

I don’t know why the whole thing seemed so creepy. It probably wasn’t, and the guy was wearing a Yankee hat. Maybe it was just because the young woman was so attractive and he appeared so eager. The part that really made me uncomfortable was the way he boxed out his daughter. But maybe she had a book to read. I got up and left them the first chance I got and I didn’t look back.

Smitten Kitchen offers up another sure shot: tomato salad withe crushed croutons.

“Any man who can write a page of living prose adds something to our life, and the man who can, as I can, is surely the last to resent someone who can do it even better. An artist cannot deny art, nor would he want to. A lover cannot deny love.”

Raymond Chandler

[Photo Credit: The Portland Mercury]

“Elegy to the Spanish Republic, 70” By Robert Motherwell (1961)

Over at ESPN, Jonah Keri writes about six teams you don’t want to face in the playoffs.

[Photo Credit: USA Today]

First Grantland and now comes The Classical, a new site that will feature the talents of Tim Marchamn, Eric Nusbaum, David Roth and Bethlehem Shoals. It’s been an interesting year for new sites.

Also, while I’m at it, Sports Feat is a good spot to find long form sports writing. You should also keep an eye on Adi Joseph’s blog, Hard-Charging.

[Photo Credit: Scott Armstrong]

The Yankees have half-a-dozen starters for five slots so A.J. Burnett’s job assignment has been getting a lot of attention lately. He has been very bad for a good, long stretch now. When the Yankees have to make tough decisions, many, many fans would prefer to see him exiled to the bullpen, sent to the DL, or even released. How much of this has penetrated A.J.’s inner sanctum I have no idea, but he knows how bad he’s been lately and he can count to six. So I’m sure he appreciated the extra scrutiny on tonight’s start against the last-place Royals.

Burnett was protecting a 2-0 lead and potential victory when he faced Melky Cabrera with one out and the bases loaded in the fifth. It was a tough spot and Melky’s no slouch with the stick. Burnett leaped ahead of Cabrera 0-2 with a decent sinker and a good curve. He stood him up with an inside fastball. And then Burnett made his kill-pitch – the low hard curve down around Melky’s ankles. Melky spoiled it. A.J. looked frustrated that Melky hadn’t whiffed and fired his next three pitches indiscriminately towards the general back-stop area. Melky walked, cut the lead in half and Billy Butler followed with another hit that gave the Royals a 3-2 lead.

Stellar defense by Swisher (limiting Butler to a single on a liner towards the corner) and Cano (starting a gorgeous double play to end the inning) kept the score at 3-2, but A.J. Burnett left the mound spinning. And Yankee fans were knee-deep in another Burnett stinker. Through the fifth, he had allowed nine hits, a walk and three runs. Good defense saved him from a lot worse than that.

But the Yankees offense immediately responded to the deficit and pushed three runs across. With the new lead and A.J. somehow in line for a win, he was the last guy I expected to come out for the sixth inning. But there he was. He retired the first batter, allowed a single after a long AB, and then got Salvador Perez to fly out to center. Joe Girardi almost tripped over himself getting out to the mound. He lifted Burnett for Boone Logan. As Burnett left the game, Derek Jeter stopped and whispered something in his ear.

I think both Girardi and Jeter felt that sixth inning was of vital importance to A.J.’s mental state. To leave the game after the disaster in the fifth would have felt like a massive failure regardless of who ended up winning. But by sending A.J. out for the sixth, he might feel like he contributed something to the victory.

This game played out like a scenario contrived specifically for A.J. to work out his problems. That’s the state of the Wild Card race these days, and that, of course, is the state of the Kansas City Royals. I think if this were an important game, Girardi would have yanked Burnett after he walked Melky. Burnett appeared broken when Melky fouled off his out-pitch. And I think if it was even a semi-important game, Burnett would never have come out for the sixth. But it was a totally meaningless game, so Girardi experimented. Hopefully whatever he mixed in the test tube will be useful down the road.

In order for the psycho-drama to function properly, the Yankee offense needed to score first, but keep it close so they could fall behind. The defense had to be top-notch, as the Royals can hit a little bit and are aggressive on the bases. And then they needed to bounce back and give A.J. support when he needed it most. All parties performed their roles superbly. Gardner chopped run-scoring singles and Jeter had three hits and three RBI, the big blow a long triple to right-center that reclaimed the lead in the sixth.

I’d quibble about the first-inning bunt, but apparently, it was just part of the script tonight. Good thing it also called for a flawless Mariano save and a Yankee victory, 7-4. Rehire this creative team next time they play Boston.

Yup, it’s our boy A.J. on the hill tonight. You feelin’ it?

I’m feelin’ it.

First of three for the Yanks in Kansas City.

Cliff’s got the preview:

The Royals entered this season with by far the best farm system in baseball and have since stocked their major league roster with prospects, including first baseman Eric Hosmer, second baseman Johnny Giavotella, third baseman Mike Moustakas, lefty starter Danny Duffy (who will pitch on Tuesday), and relievers Aaron Crow, Tim Collins, Louis Coleman, Greg Holland, Everett Teaford, and Rule 5 pick Nathan Adcock. Those players haven’t accomplished much more than getting their feet wet, however.

Moustakas has been awful. Hosmer has hit just .254/.317/.384 since June 8. Giavotella has been solid but has only been up for ten games. Duffy has just six quality starts in 15 turns. Crow, a curious choice for the team’s lone All-Star selection, has a 4.08 ERA and three blown saves in his last 16 outings. Tiny Tim Collins has walked 6.7 men per nine innings. Teaford has just one more strikeout than walk. Coleman and Holland have been excellent, but neither was considered among the cream of the farm system, and Adcock, who is in this discussion only by virtue of being a rookie, has a 5.23 ERA.

That said, the Royals do have a roughly league-average offense thanks to the unexpected performances of their outfielders, two of whom were roundly mocked when the Royals acquired them this offseason. Alex Gordon, who is finally fulfilling his potential at age 27 is actually one of the most valuable players in the league according to Baseball Prospectus’s WARP (Wins Above Replacement Player). Melky Cabrera is, at 26, having by far the best season of his career, hitting for unprecedented average and power. Jeff Francoeur is having his best season since his rookie year of 2005, thanks in part to a career-high walk rate and his best power performance since 2006. Add in Billy Butler’s typical not-great-but-good showing at DH, and the Royals have half of a solid major league offense.

Of course, that has been undermined by Joakim Soria going rotten, posting the worst save percentage among the 24 men with 20 or more saves this season, most recently collaborating with Crow to blow a 7-3 lead against the Rays last Wednesday. Put it all together, and the Royals have the third-worst record in baseball, which is an unfortunately familiar place despite all those new faces, and are 2-8 over their last ten games coming into this series

Brett Gardner LF
Derek Jeter SS
Curtis Granderson CF
Mark Teixeira 1B
Robinson Cano 2B
Nick Swisher RF
Eric Chavez 3B
Jorge Posada DH
Russell Martin C

Grab yer napkins and let us dream of K.C. bbq as we cheer:

Let’s Go Yank-ees!

[Photo Credit: Kevin’sbbqjoints.com]

Steve Goldman looks at Curtis Granderson as an MVP candidate. He examines stats from Baseball Prospectus, Fangraphs and Baseball-Reference and says that:

One of the main reasons for variance between these measurements is the way they handle fielding, with each having different ways of tabulating a player’s defensive contribution. What is fascinating is that despite this, all three rankings agree that Granderson shouldn’t be anywhere near the MVP award, and they agree on the reason: they think he has been a poor defensive player this year. Conversely, they agree that Brett Gardner has been a spectacular defensive player, which is why he shows up in the top 10 for two of the three sites (Gardner ranks 17th in BP’s hierarchy). BP’s fielding runs say that Granderson has set the Yankees back about 10 runs with the glove beyond what an average defender would have done, equivalent to a full win. Fangraphs’ version of the same says about the same thing with -8 runs, while BB-Ref generously only penalizes him seven runs.

What perplexes me here is that I can’t see it, whether on television or at the ballpark. When we talk about Derek Jeter’s defensive deficiencies, I have always been able to see his difficulties going to his left. The statistics merely confirmed what I already knew. In this case, Granderson’s problems aren’t obvious to me, so I ask you: have you noticed Granderson fail to play a solid center field?

That’s a good question. I have a hard time wrapping my head around fielding stats, that’s for sure.

[Photo Credit: ESPN]

Over at The Yankee Analysts, Mike Jaggers-Radolf plays Name That Pitcher.

[Photo Credit: N.Y. Daily News]