(Sorry.)

So you know how we were all wondering where the Yankees’ offense was? Well… this is so embarrassing… it turns out it was just buried in my sofa cushions this whole time! I found it yesterday afternoon, when I was looking for my keys.

Yes, it took a few days longer than they might have hoped, but the Yankees snapped out of their funk in a big way Wednesday night – and overcame a predictably lousy start by Sidney Ponson – with an 18-7 blowout of the Texas Rangers. That’s the most runs New York has scored all season, and every starter had at least one hit, but the key contributor, once again, was Jason Giambi and his Porn ‘Stache of Doom. It was 3-1 Rangers in the third inning when the Big G put the Yanks ahead with an upper tank grand slam; he came through again in the seventh with a two-run double that put the Yankees up 8-7 after Ponson, left in too long, ran out of luck and coughed up a 6-3 lead.

That seventh inning was decisive, a nine-run explosion made possible by Texas’s poor bullpen and exacerbated by Ron Washington’s curious management choices. While Edwar Ramirez had taken over for Ponson and pitched two shutdown innings, the unfortunate Warner Madrigal (not a typo) made his first-ever appearance for the Rangers in this tense one-run game and left, many batters later, with an ERA of 162.00.

Meanwhile, watching Ponson start a game, even when things are going relatively well, is like taking a time machine back to 1906 San Francisco and strolling around. You just can’t enjoy yourself because you know disaster is right around the corner. In fact, what I like about Ponson – perhaps the only thing I like about Ponson – is that he makes me look good; I can predict with absolute confidence that he will pitch poorly for the Yankees and in the long run I really don’t have to worry about him proving me wrong.

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Since stomping the Mets 9-0 in the second game of last Friday’s doubleheader, the Yankees have scored just seven runs in four games. Tonight they look to break the slump and avoid a sweep against Rangers rookie Luis Mendoza.

Mendoza hasn’t allowed a run since April, but he also hasn’t made a major league start since April, when he posted a 9.31 ERA in three starts, all of them Ranger losses. Mendoza spent most of May on the DL due to inflammation in his pitching shoulder and has made three scoreless appearances out of the Texas bullpen since being recalled from his rehab assignment in mid-June. The 24-year-old Mendoza has made six starts in his brief major league career and never seen the sixth inning in any of them. He’s also never faced the Yankees.

Opposing Mendoza is former Ranger Sidney Ponson. The Yankees signed Ponson on the day I left for my recent vacation and I was still away when they called him up to pitch against the Mets, so I didn’t have an opportunity to register my disgust at the return of the player who very nearly made my list of my least favorite Yankees of the past 25 years based on his 16 1/3 innings as a Yankee in 2006.

Ponson had three quality starts in ten tries as a Ranger earlier this season, with all but two of his starts for Texas coming in May. When the Rangers released him for bad behavior that reportedly included making a scene at a hotel bar and fighting with manager Ron Washington, Ponson had a 105 ERA+, which marked the first time he’d been anything close to league average or above since 2003.

Ponson pitched six scoreless innings against the Mets in his Yankee debut this season, and could have another solid outing if facing the team that released him increases his focus tonight, but he is not a long-term solution. He is a stop-gap as the team waits for a variety of young pitchers to overcome injury, setbacks, and inexperience. That said, I’d rather have Dan Giese in the roation right now. Giese has had just two poor starts in 12 tries between triple-A and the majors this year. I’d also rather give Jeff Karstens, who is finally healthy and pitching well for Scranton (1.88 ERA in June, 3.67 K/BB on the season), or Jeff Marquez, who has rediscovered his ability to get ground balls and posted a 1.89 ERA in June for Scranton, or fast-moving Dan McCutchen (3.88 K/BB in Scranton) a shot to prove themselves in the rotation rather than have to endure watching the Fat Ponson Toad work his black magic. It pains me that we’re back in this spot two years later. Three-fifths of the Opening Day rotation may have hit the DL, but that’s still no excuse for employing Sidney Ponson.

Word of warning: in his last stint as a Yankee, Ponson pitched the Yankees to a win in his first start, allowing four runs in 6 2/3 innings. He was then lit up in his next outing (six runs in 2 1/3 innings) as he went on to post a 13.97 in his final four games of the season. The Yankees released him after those five appearances and he spent the rest of the season out of work. I repeat: Sidney Ponson is bad.

Melky Cabrera gets the night off tonight, so Brett Gardner will make his debut as the Yankee center fielder. He’s batting ninth. Jason Giambi will DH with Wilson Betemit, who is likely to be a permanent fixture in the lineup in Hideki Matsui’s absence unless Gardner starts getting on base and forces Johnny Damon to DH, at first base.

The news of Jules Tygiel’s passing has left me feeling blue.  Here’s something silly to bring a smile to your face.

I always wanted an older sybling as a kid.  That wss the best way to learn about cool music, or so it seemed to me.  My parents had a decent-sized record collection but my father did not like Rock n Roll.  He was always too grown for that.  My mom did, however,  she didn’t buy many albums, so the hardest-rockin records we owned were Simon and Garfunkel, Judy Collins and A Hard Day’s Night (and the only reason we had that was because Dad was friends with one of the actors in the movie).  Most of the vinyl in our house was comprised of original cast recordings–My Fair Lady, Oklahoma, The King and I, West Side Story, A Chorus Line.  My twin sister became an avid fan of the Musical Theater, while I…did not.

There were a handful of comedy records however (Tom Leherer, Peter Sellers, Mel Brooks and Carl Reiner), none more enticing than this one, Bill Cosby’s third album, released in 1965.  First of all, there is cover, with a young Cosby, the most amiable-looking of guys.  Two, the title fascinated me.  I mean, when you are seven-years old there aren’t many deeper philosophical questions than the simple ones–"Yeah, why is there air anyway?"  (One of the other Cosby records we had, I Started Out as a Child, struck me as being very deep too.)  

Above all, there was Cosby’s material, instantly accessible and appealing.  The man simply sounded funny.  He made my father laugh and that was a big deal.  At a time when my father was often sullen, his moods increasingly dark due to too much drink, listening to him laugh was a thrill.  It was exciting to see him happy, if only for a moment.  My father laughed from the gut–it was an almost violent reaction.  He laughed loudly and his face would turn red.  I remember being both charged-up by the force of his laughter and also frightened.  Mostly, I recall sharing something with him.  Being connected by laughter.  If he thought Cosby was funny, it was okay for me to laugh as well.  To this day, when I listen to this record, I can tell you where my dad laughed.

Here is one routine from the album.  Enjoy.  

As Bob Timmermann reported earlier today on The Griddle, historian Jules Tygiel died yesterday.  The cause was cancer.  He was only 59.  I got to know Tygiel a little bit over the past five years–he was helpful when I was researching a book about Curt Flood.  Later, he continued to be generous and forthcoming with whatever questions I lobbed his way.  I am so sad to hear of his passing. 

His most enduring work, Baseball’s Great Experiment, is seminal, academic in its approach, thorough, rich, exacting and an amazing reference book.  It belongs on the short list of great baseball histories. 

Voting for the All-Star Game ends at midnight tonight. Throwing out the reality of selection process, here are the 32-man American and National League rosters as I’d pick ’em:

American League

Starters:

1B – Kevin Youkilis, BOS
2B – Ian Kinsler, TEX
SS – Michael Young, TEX
3B – Alex Rodriguez, NYY
C – Joe Mauer, MIN
RF – Josh Hamilton, TEX
CF – Grady Sizemore, CLE
LF – J.D. Drew, BOS
DH – Milton Bradley, TEX
SP – Roy Halladay, TOR

I really wanted to give Jason Giambi the nod at first, base, but Youkilis holds a slight lead in VORP and is the far superior defender, so I just couldn’t do it. I also wanted to put Carlos Quentin in left field, as it would have given me an outfield with all three starters playing their regular positions, but with Drew leading Quentin in VORP and all three rate stats, I just couldn’t give Quentin the nod over a guy with a career 130 OPS+ based on three impressive months. Halladay gets the pitching nod over Cliff Lee because Lee strikes me as a fluke.

Bench:

1B – Jason Giambi, NYY
2B – Brian Roberts, BAL
3B – Mike Lowell, BOS
C – Jorge Posada, NYY
OF – Carlos Quentin, CHW
OF – Manny Ramirez, BOS
OF – Jermaine Dye, CHW
OF – Johnny Damon, NYY
UT – Carlos Guillen, DET

You might have noticed Derek Jeter is not on this team. He doesn’t deserve it. Really, there’s not a single AL shortstop who does deserve to play in this game. If I could get away with starting Guillen over Michael Young, I’d do it, but Guillen hasn’t played shorstop all year. Nonetheless, he’s my backup shortstop here, getting the nod due his value as a utility man and because I needed a Detroit Tiger on my squad and Guillen + Johnny Damon > Jeter + Magglio Ordoñez. Either Jhonny Peralta (the hitting pick) or Orlando Cabrera (the defense pick) would get the nod over Jeter if I was forced to pick a true shortstop as my backup. Posada is here despite his DL stint as there’s no other deserving catcher in the league. Practically, you’d like to have a third catcher, but I just couldn’t bear to put another AL backstop on my roster.

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From the Game Thread:

Millwood’s looking like Scott Feldman tonight…

…And the Yankee offense is looking like Marty Feldman.

Rangers 3, Yanks 2.  Mariano takes the loss.  This one hurts like a Molina cross-up to the cubes.

Joe G’s got some ‘splainin to do.  Yankee fans, please stay away from sharp objects.

Our Man Joba is on the hill tonight. This is the first really good hitting club he’s faced since becoming a starter. Let’s hope the Yankees’ maddeningly uneven offense puts it together against Kevin Millwood and tells us something good.

Let’s Go Yan-Kees.

Here is a nice vignette from Mark Winegardner’s book about the legendary scout Tony Lucadello, "Prophet of the Sandlots."  (For more on Lucadello, check out Gare Joyce’s terrific e-ticket piece.) The following took place at a Michigan-Michigan State game on a chilly spring day in 1988.

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SI.com caught up with Gillette’s new pitch-man, Derek Jeter.

Act like you want it, What! Bring the Drama, act like you want it.

I love Dumb Fun.

The Rangers have the best offense and worst pitching in baseball, so naturally they beat the Yankees 2-1 in their series opener in the Bronx last night. Alex Rodriguez’s mammoth fourth-inning home run into Monument Park off accounted for the Yankees’ only run. By then, the Rangers already had their two runs, plating a one-out Ian Kinsler double in the third and a lead-off walk to David Murphy in the top of the fourth. Mike Mussina struck out eight, including Milton Bradley four times, and took the hard-luck loss. Edwar Ramirez, Jose Veras, and Dan Geiese each pitched a scoreless relief inning to keep the Yanks within a blast. The Rangers bullpen countered that by retiring all ten batters it faced over the final 3 1/3 innings.

The Yankees had just four hits all game, all off Feldman, but three of them were for extra bases. After Alex Rodriguez’s homer in the fourth, Jorge Posada doubled with two outs, but Robinson Cano grounded out to strand him. With two outs in the sixth, Jason Giambi hit a legitimate triple to right field, his first three-base hit since 2002 and just his second in his seven seasons with the Yankees. That hit drove Feldman from the game and Frank Francisco came on to strand G-bombs by K-ing Posada. Giambi would prove to be the last baserunner the Yankees would have all game.

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Texas Rangers

2007 Record: 75-87 (.463)
2007 Pythagorean Record: 78-84 (.483)

2008 Record: 42-41 (.506)
2008 Pythagorean Record: 40.5-42.5 (.488)

Manager: Ron Washington
General Manager: Jon Daniels

Home Ballpark (multi-year Park Factors): Rangers Ballpark in Arlington (100/100)*

Who’s Replacing Whom:

Josh Hamilton replaces Mark Teixeira and Brad Wilkerson
Milton Bradley replaces Sammy Sosa
David Murphy inherits the playing time of Kenny Lofton and Victor Diaz
Brandon Boggs replaces Nelson Cruz (minors)
German Duran replaces Jerry Hairston Jr. and Travis Metcalf (minors)
Chris Davis replaces Jason Botts (minors)
Jarrod Saltalamacchia is filling in for Gerald Laird (DL) in the lineup
Max Ramirez is filling in for Saltalamacchia on the bench
Vicente Padilla reclaims Edinson Volquez’s starts
Scott Feldman is filling in for Jason Johnson (DL) who replaced Kameron Loe (minors)
Luis Mendoza is filling in for Doug Mathis (DL) who was filling in for Brandon McCarthy (DL)
Eric Hurley replaces Robinson Tejada (minors)
C.J. Wilson has inherited Eric Gagné’s save chances
Eddie Guardado replaces Ron Mahay and Wilson’s set-up innings
Josh Rupe replaces Wes Littleton
Jamey Wright has ceded his starts to the gaggle of starters listed above and moved to the bullpen to replace Willie Eyre
Warner Madrigal the latest reliever to attempted to fill in the remaining innings pitched by Mike Wood, John Rheinecker (DL), Akinori Otsuka and others last year.

25-man Roster

1B – Frank Catalanotto (L)
2B – Ian Kinsler (R)
SS – Michael Young (R)
3B – Ramon Vazquez (L)
C – Jarrod Saltalamacchia (S)
RF – Josh Hamilton (L)
CF – Marlon Byrd (R)
LF – David Murphy (L)
DH – Milton Bradley (S)

Bench:

R – Brandon Boggs (OF)
L – Chris Davis (1B/3B)
R – German Duran (UT)
R – Max Ramirez (C)

Rotation:

R – Vicente Padilla
R – Eric Hurley
R – Scott Feldman
R – Kevin Millwood
R – Luis Mendoza

Bullpen:

L – C.J. Wilson
R – Joaquin Benoit
L – Eddie Guardado
R – Jamey Wright
R – Frank Francisco
R – Josh Rupe
R – Warner Madrigal

15-day DL: L – Hank Blalock (3B), R – Gerald Laird (C), R – Jason Jennings, L – Kason Gabbard, R – Doug Mathis, L – A.J. Murray
60-day DL: R – Brandon McCarthy, L – John Rheinecker, R – Thomas Diamond

Typical Lineup:

R – Ian Kinsler (2B)
R – Michael Young (SS)
L – Josh Hamilton (RF/CF)
S – Milton Bradley (DH)
L – David Murphy (LF/RF)
R – Marlon Byrd (CF)
L – Frank Catalanotto (1B)
S – Jarrod Saltalamacchia (C)
L – Ramon Vazquez (3B)

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It ain’t easy being Lou. 

Before there was Manny being Manny, there was Rickey being Rickey.  At least according to a New York Times piece from the late 1980s I read about Henderson not too long ago.  Manny being Manny is cute so long as he hits like a Hall of Famer.  Sammy Sosa was chased out of Chicago the moment his skills declined.  While I don’t think the same holds true for Ramirez in Boston–hey, two championship rings buy a lot of rope–have you noticed that Manny being Manny has become a catch-phrase to take Ramirez off-the-hook whenever he acts like a putz?  Chacon got released.  Manny apologies.  Chacon is washed-up, Manny still rakes.  Manny being Manny.  Sort of like Shaq being Shaq. 

According to reports, outfielder Brett Gardner has been called-up to the majors.  David Robertson made his debut yesterday, allowing a run. He didn’t have command of his curve ball but the heater looked lively.

According to Buster Olney:

I don’t know what’s wrong with Yankees outfielder Hideki Matsui, but it would not be a surprise if he has a serious ligament issue. If this was a minor cleanup situation, the Yankees could keep Matsui out now and have him back sometime in August, but that is not how the Yankees are handling this. If Matsui is seriously injured and eventually requires season-ending surgery, it figures the Yankees will be poking around and looking for an outfielder — or a first baseman.

With Godzilla on the shelf for who knows how long, there has been talk of Barry Bonds.  The fellas over at No Maas are all for it.  What do you think?  I don’t imagine that it’ll happen but it’d sure keep us busy with banter, man.

I watched most of yesterday’s game on the Mets’ network, listening to Gary Cohen and Mex Hernandez call the game.  I like the Met guys, although Cohen gets jacked-up more now that he’s on TV.  That’s fine because in general, he just gets out of the way and let’s the action unfold, without the need to put exclaimation points on every call.  I know Cohen grew up rooting for the Mets which is why I was puzzled at something he said yesterday. 

Ron Darling, the third guy in the Met booth, was calling the game for the TBS Game of the Week, and over at YES, David Cone and Ken Singleton were doing with the game with Michael Kay.  Cohen mentioned that the grouping of Hernandez, Darling, Cone and Singleton represented the four best trades in franchise history. 

I get the first three, but to suggest that the Mets got the better of the deal that sent Singleton, Mike Jorgeseon and Tim Foli to the Expos in exchange for Rusty Staub seems misguided at best, sentimental at worst. 

The trade took place on April 2, 1972, a few months shy of Singleton’s 25th birthday.  In his second season with the Expos, Singleton played 162 games, hit .302/.425/.479, with 26 doubles, 23 dingers, 100 runs scored, 103 RBI and 123 walks, good for a 148 OPS+.  In comparison, Rusty Staub’s best season with the Mets from 72-75 was 1975 when he hit .282/.371/.448 in 155 games, with 30 doubles, 19 dingers, 93 runs scored and 105 RBI, good for an OPS+ of 131.  Staub was three years older than Singleton and by 1979 he was a platoon player.  In a long, 23-year career, Staub’s line is .279/.362/.431.  In a much shorter career (15 seasons), Singleton’s line is .282/.388/.436.  After the trade, Singleton put up OPS+ seasons of 153, 165, 152, 155, and 142.  They were all full seasons.  Staub, put up OPS+ seasons of 131 and 137 in full seasons, and 147 as a pinch-hitter for the Mets in 1981.

Jorgensen and Foli had some productive seasons too. 

Maybe it’s me.  I was too young to follow the team during the early 70s but looking at the numbers, I’d say this was one of the worst trades in Met history. 

Joe Girardi has yet to be impressed with Ian Kennedy.

Here is the latest from Tyler Kepner and Pete Abe:

"Right now we’re not really thinking of him," he said. "We like the way our other (starters) are throwing the ball. I mean, you have to earn your call-up. … You have to earn your spot back. You have to pitch well to earn your spot back. He has to pitch well. He was optioned out, this is him getting right. This is like the other 175 players in the minor leagues, or however many there are."

I wanted a split, and I wanted the Yanks to beat Oliver Perez. I got the split. Perez didn’t throw a three-hitter as I feared, it was a two-hitter. Seven innings. And he didn’t walk a batter. Believe that. Eight K’s too. The Mets’ southpaw, fighting to remain in the rotation, was brilliant on Sunday as the Mets shut the Yankees down, 3-1. The Yanks had four hits on the afternoon.

The best moment of the game came in the fourth with Derek Jeter on second and the Mets ahead, 2-0. Perez fell behind Alex Rodriguez 3-0, and then Rodriguez destroyed the 3-1 pitch, high and foul to left field. So close… The TV cut to the blimp angle which showed lightning cracking through the New York sky–it started raining but the game wasn’t delayed. Perez fired two more fastballs and Rodriguez put good swings on them but could only foul them back. Another fastball, foul tip. I kept waiting for him to go to the slider. But Perez challenged Rodriguez with another fastball, right in Rodriguez’s kitchen. Rodriguez swung and missed it. It was a Junior Miss Bob Welch-Reggie scene (Rodriguez just missed all day long; in his next at-bat, he skied a pop-out two miles in the air, and in the ninth, he narrowly missed a homer against Billy Wagner).

Darrell Rasner did okay; Jose Reyes had another lapse in form, as he threw down his glove in anger after making a throwing error in the eighth inning (a ball first baseman Carlos Delgado should have caught), but the Mets got a much-needed win all the same. Delgado had a solo homer, Bill Wagner got the save.

If the Yankees could only win one game this weekend I wanted it to be today’s game. That’s what I was saying all last week. I said two things: I hope the Yankees split the series and if they can only win one, let them beat Oliver Perez on Sunday. Perez is like AJ Burnett to me. Not as good, but still. Loads of talent, great "stuff" yet hopelessly erratic. Million Dollar Arm, Ten Cent Head kind of guy.

Of course, I’m more than half-expecting Perez to go out and throw a three-hitter. Walk five guys but still win.  He is 4-1 lifetime vs. the Yanks.

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