“I’m a blunt getting smoked and I can’t wake up.” KRS-ONE

Man, I had the worst dream last night. The Yankees suffered the most lopsided loss in team history ^[1], falling 22-0 ^[2] at home to the Indians. (I can’t believe they gave up the two-pernt conversion.) Hold up. That was no dream. It was a nightmare ^[3]. Omar Vizquel ^[4] had six hits, tying an American League record for hits in a nine-inning game. Esteban Loiaza finished the game for the Yanks. Not wanting to be left out of the festivities, he was torched in the ninth, serving up two, three-run bombs.

The Angels scored a bunch of runs ^[5] late but it wasn’t enough to beat the Red Sox ^[6] who won their seventh consecutive game. Boston now trails the Yankees by three-and-a-half games, and they are creepin’ closer.

A mortified Yankee team will look to rebound on Wednesday night against the ace of the Cleveland staff, C.C. Sabathia. Just what do the Yankees need to do to get a good performance out of one of their starting pitchers ^[7]? Wait a minute, don’t answer that. I’m going back to bed.