"A New York Treasure" --Village Voice

Robinson Cano Will Accept Your Tithes of Gold and Women Now

A couple weeks ago, the closed captioning at Yankee Stadium translated A.J. Burnett as “A.J. Burning Net,” and I decided that’s how A.J. would be known in my household from now on. It also prompted me to check for A.J. Burnett anagrams*, which turned up, among other gems, A Burnt Jet and Nut Jar Bet. Being a natural pessimist, I tend to fixate on Burnett’s unpredictability. But when he’s on, he makes you forget all about those kind of jokes, and tonight was one of those nights; the Yankees strapped themselves on the back of the sizzling-hot Robinson Cano and cruised to a 4-0 win over Baltimore, winning the series and getting back on track after a few minor early-season blips.

Cano continued what I like to think of as his “Oh, You Didn’t Know? You Better Call Somebody” tour of the AL with two more home runs, a double, and a killer defensive play in the third inningĀ  – ranging way over to his right, then hurling the ball against his momentum right to Mark Teixeira’s glove, throwing out poor Nolan Reimold with one step to spare – that left A.J. Burning Net standing on the mound with his hands on his head in disbelief, and Derek Jeter staring at him like he’d just grown an extra head. He provided plenty of offense all by himself, but the Yankees also scattered 11 hits and a walk against Orioles pitching throughout the game; Baltimore starter Brian Matusz did pretty well in limiting the damage to three runs in six innings.

The Yankee scoring began in the first, when Jeter came home on Alex Rodriguez’s sacrifice fly. Cano’s first home run, a booming no-doubter, came in the fourth; he followed it with a double in the sixth, and Marcus Thames knocked him home with a double of his own. Finally Cano burned Alberto Castillo for his 8th homer of the year, and this one wasn’t cheap either (Ken Singleton: “I’ll have what he’s having”). We’ve seen Cano do this before for a few weeks at a time, usually later in the season, and obviously he’s not going to hit .407 all summer; but it’s spring, and for now I think I’ll just enjoy the many pleasant possibilities.

The Orioles threatened only mildly against Burnett, who eased through eight innings and 116 pitches (77 of them strikes) even without much of a curveball, and Mariano Rivera polished them off with 13 pitches, fava beans and a nice Chianti in the ninth. It all looked easy tonight.

*That same (very productive) evening, I discovered that Curtis Granderson has by far the best anagrams on the Yanks, including but not limited to: Corianders Strung, Transcends Rigour, Scarred Tonsuring, Crusader Snorting, Sardonic Restrung, Contrariness Drug, Unerring Cad Sorts, Graced Rosins Runt, and Rug Torn Acridness.

Also, one anagram for Michael Kay is: Lama Hickey. You’re welcome.

Categories:  Bronx Banter  Emma Span

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1 unmoderated   ~  Apr 30, 2010 6:40 am

Marcus Thames = Mustaches Arm

The Cano play in the 3rd... what got me was the throw. Not one of those loopy one-hoppers. Right to the glove.

2 Shaun P.   ~  Apr 30, 2010 7:05 am

I can't decide which I like more, Lama Hickey, Transcends Rigour, or Rug Torn Acridness. Clearly Rug Torn Acridness needs to be used whenever Granderson triples.

Cano is just something else so far. It would be very nice if he could keep it up. I turned the TV off (to put the kids to bed) about 2 minutes before Cano's amazing play. Sigh.

3 Just Fair   ~  Apr 30, 2010 8:02 am

Lama Hickey has been around for a while now. Love the anagram machine. [2] The play was a thing o beauty. To think that folks were on the "Trade Cano train" makes me shake my head in disbelief. The dude is unreal. He may very well still go into a funk, but that seems absurd right now. He's running to the park to hit.

4 Sliced Bread   ~  Apr 30, 2010 8:41 am

Cano is one-sixth of the way toward validating my 2010 AL MVP prophecy declared here at the beginning of spring training (look it up if you must).
Yeah, I divined a similar utterance at the start of 2008, and that didn't turn out so well - but this is a very nice start.

5 Diane Firstman   ~  Apr 30, 2010 8:54 am

The Cano play ...

(crossing my fingers he doesn't get homer/pull-happy)

6 ny2ca2dc   ~  Apr 30, 2010 9:02 am

Cano just might be a top contender for MVP this year. The only thing that would make me happier is if JoPo got one (this year, and Cano next)!

At this rate Cano has to be a shoo in for starting the All Star game, and you'd figure ARod and Jeter are in as well. Now if people just remember Tex's 2009 and career and vote him in, we could have an all Yankee All Star infield. Wouldn't that be something.

7 The Hawk   ~  Apr 30, 2010 9:05 am

Kim Jones nearly ruined my appreciation of Cano's play with her breathless invocation of it in every post game interview: Wasn't that the most amazing thing you ever saw in your entire life and obviously no other human being in the history of history could ever have made it!

8 The Hawk   ~  Apr 30, 2010 9:06 am

Btw, if Melky had to be sacrificed to elicit this performance from Cano, it's worth it.

9 NYYfan22   ~  Apr 30, 2010 9:16 am

[6] dude, you're forgetting that 65% of all baseball fans HATE the Yankees. They'll vote Morneau in just to spite us. Okay, okay... the dude is pretty good. sigh.

10 RIYank   ~  Apr 30, 2010 9:19 am

[9] And, there are an awful lot of My Little Pony fans who are... fervent. (He's not just for seven year old girls anymore.)

11 Alex Belth   ~  Apr 30, 2010 9:32 am

Lama Hickey? That's great!

12 NYYfan22   ~  Apr 30, 2010 9:32 am

[10] I still can't get over that you were at the '78 tiebreaker game. THAT'S SO AWESOME!

13 Shaun P.   ~  Apr 30, 2010 9:49 am

[8] And given Melky's performance to date - .189/.277/.216 (!) - "sacrifice" might be exactly what happened.

[10] Don't forget Youkilis too. The Red Sox fans vote a lot, at Fenway and online. All those Boston-area college kids, I think. ;)

14 kenboyer made me cry   ~  Apr 30, 2010 10:02 am

And another for Michael Kay: A Mealy Hick

Cano will never look back. His body is bigger and stronger, is taking pitches, and is carrying the team right now. His swing for the second home-run yesterday was a thing of beauty.

[8] It's like the teacher who splits up two close friends sitting together who hold each other back in class. I hope Melky (who must feel like he is lost in the wilderness, after leaving the Yankees) can get it together soon.

15 The Hawk   ~  Apr 30, 2010 10:03 am

Curtis Granderson: Rustic Errand Song

16 Mattpat11   ~  Apr 30, 2010 10:14 am

Its always nice to come home to a Javy Vazquez start

17 Diane Firstman   ~  Apr 30, 2010 10:28 am

My first trip this season to Stadium is tonight ... looking forward to it ...

I doubt you'll see me on TV, but section 130, row 18 (just past 3B).

18 weeping for brunnhilde   ~  Apr 30, 2010 10:31 am

First of all, you're brilliant, Emma. *You* transcend rigor.
[14] Secondly, I feel it my duty to remind us all that we have seen Robbie do this before. I sure hope there's no looking back, but let's wait and see.

Thirdly of all, that throw was sublime. Not just the power, but the accuracy! Right into the glove while running in the opposite direction. Christ Jesus.

19 weeping for brunnhilde   ~  Apr 30, 2010 10:31 am

[17] Be sure and wave!

20 Diane Firstman   ~  Apr 30, 2010 10:36 am


Do you think Robbie tries that throw if it isn't Teix at 1B .... ?

21 Diane Firstman   ~  Apr 30, 2010 10:40 am


Emma Span anagrams to MAMA PENS ...

(and of course Emma, I [heart] you for your anagramming, and your writing ability)

22 Ben   ~  Apr 30, 2010 11:43 am

[21.] DOH! Just beat me to it.

23 OldYanksFan   ~  Apr 30, 2010 11:45 am

"Cano is just something else so far. It would be very nice if he could keep it up."

[2] Tell ya what.... I certainly don't expect him to keep up this level of i>insanity. Would .330./.380/.520 be a reasonable expectation? If the dude can be a true .900 OPS guy, we will have gotten more then anything we had a right to expect.

Robbie has, up this year, been around an 825 OPS guy. I was hoping he would at least get near his potential and be a consistant .850 guy, but in my heart I was really hoping for .860.

I would say the Gold Standard for 2nd basemen would be 'The Joe' Morgan.
.................................... OPS OPS+
Cano career stats: .830 116 / .353 wOBA
Joe's career stats: .819 132 / .382 wOBA
Canos 2006 stats: .890 126 / .377 wOBA
Canos 2009 stats: .871 129 / .370 wOBA

Zo.... I know these numbers don't corelate exactly, so I'm taking a guess that Joe's numbers might corelate to something around(?) a .900 OPS?
So if Cano posts a .900 OPS, he is sorta as good with his bat (relative to his era) as Joe Morgan?

24 Ben   ~  Apr 30, 2010 11:48 am

alexander belth

Hell Ax Bantered

25 OldYanksFan   ~  Apr 30, 2010 11:55 am

Well.... look at this: .904 130 / .391 wOBA.
Chase Utley's career numbers. Nice.
If you had asked my to go from the gut, and compare Joe and Utley solely on Offense, I would have thought Utley's bat had more impact. But Joe and Utley's career numbers corelate pretty evenly.

26 Diane Firstman   ~  Apr 30, 2010 12:46 pm

Diane Firstman

A darn feminist
I'm a daft sinner
I'm friend, Satan

27 rbj   ~  Apr 30, 2010 1:31 pm

Dang looks like I picked the wrong game to miss. Gonna miss tonight's as well. But what are the odds of AJ &Javy pitching well in consecutive games?

28 weeping for brunnhilde   ~  Apr 30, 2010 1:53 pm

[20] Excellent point.

29 NYYfan22   ~  Apr 30, 2010 2:55 pm

[16,27] MLB gameday app is showing Garcia v Pettitte tonight and Danks v Vazquez tamara afternoon.

30 thelarmis   ~  Apr 30, 2010 3:55 pm

yeah, Lama Hickey has definitely been around these parts for awhile.

when we first got curtis, i penned him: Dancers Groin Rust. that has to be the best one for him!

i like how Alex has "bantered" in his name and Emma has "pens". i'm jealous that Diane has "Satan"! ; )

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"This ain't football. We do this every day."
--Earl Weaver