"A New York Treasure" --Village Voice

The Annals of Justice

If the piss ain’t shipped, you must acquit.

If you can’t see the pee, he must walk free.

If FedEx is closed, your case is hosed.

If the pee is refrigerated, he must be exonerated.

What you got…?

Categories:  1: Featured  Baseball Musings  Hot Stove  Jon DeRosa

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1 Alex Belth   ~  Feb 24, 2012 10:10 am

With a nod to BDP..."The P is still free."

2 TheGreenMan   ~  Feb 24, 2012 10:33 am

If the sample meets delay, then urine for a good day.

3 Jon DeRosa   ~  Feb 24, 2012 10:36 am

[1] & [2] Nice ones.

4 RagingTartabull   ~  Feb 24, 2012 10:43 am

people be riding the Righteous Indignation Express on this story like whoa!

I'm not someone who gets hung up on steroids, put Clemens and Bonds and everyone else in the Hall for all I care. We can't pretend like they never existed. BUT I don't think because of what happened here everyone who thought Braun a user owes him some kind of apology.

He got off on a technicality, and technicalities exist for a reason and are a legitimate reason for acquittal. But acquittal is not exoneration.

5 Jon DeRosa   ~  Feb 24, 2012 10:48 am

[4] Yeah, great job to avoid punishment, but so far, no explanation for his piss rocking all that synthetic testosterone.

6 Sliced Bread   ~  Feb 24, 2012 10:50 am

First name's Ryan,
I ain't lyin'.
last name's Braun.
Get off my lawn.
The defense rests

Bud, serve 'em some spittle,
And let's have an acquittal.

7 Jon DeRosa   ~  Feb 24, 2012 10:50 am

If your fingers are bleached, the results can be impeached.

8 Jon DeRosa   ~  Feb 24, 2012 10:52 am

When the pee is left unattended, the arbiter gets offended.

9 Jon DeRosa   ~  Feb 24, 2012 10:54 am

If you refrigerate, the testosterone might replicate.

10 kenboyer made me cry   ~  Feb 24, 2012 11:20 am

One day delay, now 50 games to play?

Maybe the currier should have used UPeeS?

11 Alex Belth   ~  Feb 24, 2012 11:23 am

You guys are on a roll!

12 kenboyer made me cry   ~  Feb 24, 2012 11:25 am

[10] I know...the word its courier.

13 Greg G   ~  Feb 24, 2012 11:38 am

They should let these guys take whatever they want to. It is too hard to keep testing them. And what if you find out someone has cheated in October and took steroids and they won the World Series. They are suspended, but the trophy stays with the cheaters anyway?

Look at Lance Armostrong. Many people believe he cheated, but the technology keeps changing. It is hard to figure out what scientific leaps will be made.

These athletes are using themselves as guinea pigs, and maybe some good does come out of it? Maybe we figure out ways to treat muscle loss and pain?

Baseball players have been cheating since the games inception. Throwing games, stealing signs, scuffing balls, corking bats, etc.

Testing is never going to be 100%, and sheds doubt on everyone in the sport. Who is clean and who is not? Some players just get painted with the steroid brush, because there is a suspicion, but no proof.

Who doesn't want to see muscled freaks throw a ball 150 mph, and see it crushed out of a ballpark and go 850 feet?

And on a side note: Pete Rose should be in the Hall of Fame. My soapbox speech is now over.

14 Alex Belth   ~  Feb 24, 2012 11:54 am

13) Give the Governor a "Harumph."


"You watch your ass."

15 Greg G   ~  Feb 24, 2012 12:03 pm

14) Candy gram for Mongo

16 Ara Just Fair   ~  Feb 24, 2012 12:13 pm

Mr. Braun. It appears your sample was a strange brew.
Take off, ya' hoser!

17 joejoejoe   ~  Feb 24, 2012 3:54 pm

Prorogation of the micturition leads to your exoneration.

18 Boatzilla   ~  Feb 25, 2012 1:46 am


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"This ain't football. We do this every day."
--Earl Weaver