"A New York Treasure" --Village Voice

Welcome to My Nightmare


Pat Jordan loves to trash the Yankees because he knows I’m so easy to wind up. He could not care less about the fortunes of any team in any sport other than his beloved Miami Hurricanes (and since I could not care less about college football, giving it back to him is less than fun). So we talk about the Yankees and he gets his digs in.

Last night he goes, “Hey Al, what are you going to do when Carl Pavano goes 2-0 in the playoffs against you guys? Hey, didn’t Pavano once pitch for the Yankees?”

Roars with laughter. “What? He win like three games in five years? Hey, Al isn’t he going for his 17th win tonight?” More laughter.

I tell him that Pavano winning two games agains the Yankees in the playoffs is my worst nightmare. Not even losing to the Twins–how can you be hard-on against the Twins?–just Pavano, who bilked the Yankees out of $40 million and is now pitching well while sporting the worst mustache of the decade.

“Tell you what, Al,” Pat said. “I’ll clean and polish my Glock 9mm and load the clip with hollow point bullets so you can come down here put it in your mouth and pull the fuggin trigger after Pavano beats the Yankees.”

More roaring.

[Photo Credit: Nam Y. Huh/AP]

Categories:  Bronx Banter  Pat Jordan  Sportswriting  Yankees

Tags:  Carl Pavano  Pat Jordan

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7 comments

1 Just Fair   ~  Sep 17, 2010 10:43 am

Ditto. When I flipped on MLBTV last night and saw that stupid stain on his face I wanted to take a boot to the tv. I dreaded losing to him last year and I have the same dread about this year.

2 rbj   ~  Sep 17, 2010 10:51 am

Don't waste the bullet. Put the gub in Carl's face instead.

3 kenboyer made me cry   ~  Sep 17, 2010 12:19 pm

Enough gun talk. Guns don't kill people, people kill people and if they didn't have guns they wouldn't.

Fuck Pavano. I relish the chance for the Yankees to embarrass him. Friggen punk, porsche driving liar.

What does it say about the Twins that he is a "leader" on their team?

4 terpchic   ~  Sep 17, 2010 12:30 pm

I went to high school with Carl. Normally, people are proud when an athlete from their town makes it to the big time, but Rob Dibble and Carl Pavano make me want to hang my head.

5 Dimelo   ~  Sep 17, 2010 12:32 pm

I hate Pavano so much!!

6 omarcoming   ~  Sep 17, 2010 1:16 pm

I do remember a wonderful article by Pat comparing a rookie who hits well in pre-season to the weather, false spring he called it.

Right now making the playoffs is the only thing we fans should worry about. If Pat can get us a pass to the post season we should take it.

7 RIYank   ~  Sep 17, 2010 2:15 pm

[2] But abt natural.

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"This ain't football. We do this every day."
--Earl Weaver