"A New York Treasure" --Village Voice

Million Dollar Movie

Ticket Dealer: [to manager, referring to Homer] That overweight guy wants to see the movie.

Manager: I’m terribly sorry, sir, but I’m afraid our facilities are not equipped to meet your needs.

Homer Simpson: What are you talking about?

Manager: What I’m saying, sir, is that a man of your carriage couldn’t possibly fit in our seats.

Homer Simpson: I can sit in the aisle.

Manager: I’m afraid that would violate the fire code.

Bystander: Hey, Fatty! I’ve got a movie for ya: A Fridge Too Far!

While we’re on the topic of sweet junk…

Popcorn, raisinets, ju ju bes, twizzlers, sour patch kids…

How do you roll when you go to the movies?

I like to strap a feedbag on and eat popcorn like that. Sometimes, I’ll have something chocolate cause I’m a surf n turf kind of guy.

Categories:  Bronx Banter  Million Dollar Movie

Share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter Share via email %PRINT_TEXT


1 bp1   ~  Jun 15, 2010 2:03 pm

I share a popcorn with the missus, but I have my own little bag of peanut M&Ms to go with it. Grab a couple M&Ms, reach into the popcorn, and down the hatch. Got to be such a habit that popcorn alone doesn't do it anymore.

Yeah - I was once the poor slob who accidentally dumped his peanut M&Ms on the floor and the whole theater could hear them rolling up front. A real shame that was.

2 Alex Belth   ~  Jun 15, 2010 2:08 pm

Dude, what's up with snowcaps? They seem so wack.

3 Dimelo   ~  Jun 15, 2010 2:13 pm

Popcorn is a must, but depending on my mental state then I might add some reese's pieces too.

4 Chyll Will   ~  Jun 15, 2010 2:14 pm

I worked at a multiplex when I was in HS; the first three days I gorged on free popcorn, then never touched the stuff again for the duration. The soda I didn't get tired of, even though I saw firsthand what it was made of. The untouchable stuff (stuff we couldn't have for free) were the candy and ice cream; that became a real bargaining chip wiith friends and particularly with the ladies... Nowadays, I'll indulge in one popcorn of indeterminate size and one drink if I don't bring my own. The few times I go to the theater, I'm more wrapped up in the picture than I am snacking, but I will have something to drink.

5 Jon DeRosa   ~  Jun 15, 2010 2:15 pm

I got my sons all psyched to go see Toy Story 3 this weekend, promised them popcorn. Then I read that popcorn is like this ridiculously dangerous choking hazard and the movie is in 3D so I have to figure out a way to get them to manage the glasses.

6 FreddySez   ~  Jun 15, 2010 2:24 pm

Popcorn all the way, in the biggest receptacle my wife will let me get away with. No "butter," though. And Ellen DeGeneres demonstrates the proper technique at 1:05 here:


7 Sliced Bread   ~  Jun 15, 2010 2:24 pm

the food order never changes: me and my three boys split a big popcorn, light on the butter, and Twizzlers. Medium Coke for me, Sprites for the kids.
Approximately the nutritional equivalent of literally eating $25 dollars.

My wife hates wasting money on movie snacks, and kids movies, so I'm the designated kid movie-taker. Good gig, but we only go a couple times a year.

8 cult of basebaal   ~  Jun 15, 2010 2:54 pm

Small popcorn, medium on the butter and a water.

Sometimes I get sour patch kids ... *never* sour jacks, which are an abomination.

9 Just Fair   ~  Jun 15, 2010 2:56 pm

[0] The Fingers You Have Used to dial Are Too Fat. to obtain a Special Dialing Wand, Please Mash the Keypad with Your Palm Now. Gotta love the mumu episode : )

10 bp1   ~  Jun 15, 2010 3:01 pm

[2] Snow caps - I don't know. What are those white things? I like the chocolate - love the dark chocolate - but the white things on top. They just crunch between your teeth. Not cool.

11 Diane Firstman   ~  Jun 15, 2010 3:04 pm


The "white things" are nonpareils ...


12 bp1   ~  Jun 15, 2010 3:17 pm

[11] I always thought "nonpareils" where the fancy name for sno-caps, lol. I always hated those tiny hard candy balls. Just nasty, especially on cookies. They get everywhere and crunch your teeth. I'll always go with the no-sprinkle, no-"tiny balls" options if available.

(listen to me - mister snooty candy chooser - as if)

13 Shaun P.   ~  Jun 15, 2010 3:21 pm

[9] "I don't want to look like a weirdo. I'll just go with a muumuu."

And so quotable, too!

[2] [10] [11] I love those things! I didn't know they were also called "Sno-Caps" until my teens, so that means I must have had the generic ones as a kid, which are also called nonpareils. The small ones are a favorite movie snack, and so are cookie dough bites. So bad and yet so good.

feed Share on Facebook Share on Twitter Share via email
"This ain't football. We do this every day."
--Earl Weaver