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Witch-King of Angmar To Re-Sign With Barad-dûr*

According to Peter Gammons, our unfriendly neighbors to the north are close to re-signing Jason Varitek to a two million dollar, one-year deal. Good news for the base stealers of the AL East.

Of course, yesterday Gammons tweeted “Cp L”. Still, this is about the easiest thing in the world to believe. The day the Red Sox don’t offer Jason Varitek a contract is the day we all peer anxiously towards the east to make sure the sun will still be rising there.


*Alternate title: Grand Moff Varitek To Re-Sign With Death Star. Yeah. My nerdiness is running amok today. By way of apology, here’s a photo of Jason Varitek and a dolphin.

Don't ask me.

Categories:  Emma Span  Hot Stove

Tags:  Boston Red Sox  Jason Varitek  Red Sox

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1 Diane Firstman   ~  Dec 2, 2010 4:50 pm

That's Chad Pennington in that photo with V-Tek ... right?

2 Shaun P.   ~  Dec 2, 2010 4:53 pm

You can't leave us hanging, Emma. We all know how the Witch King met his end. Who is Merry and who is Eowyn?

3 Emma Span   ~  Dec 2, 2010 5:01 pm

[3] David Eckstein and... oh hell, there's just no inoffensive way for me to finish this joke.

4 Jon DeRosa   ~  Dec 2, 2010 5:06 pm

[0] You couldn't have used the alternate title because the Death Star is Yankee property, so you made the correct decision.

5 Jon DeRosa   ~  Dec 2, 2010 5:07 pm

[0] Could have been, Gamorrean Guard re-signs w/ Jabba's Palace, if you wanted to go Star Wars.

6 JohnnyC   ~  Dec 2, 2010 5:08 pm

I'll bite. What's Cp L?

7 Emma Span   ~  Dec 2, 2010 5:17 pm

[6] I wondered that myself.

8 RIYank   ~  Dec 2, 2010 6:59 pm

Captain Loser?

Mean while, our Captain seems to be making some progress; the Yanks are budging, though nobody knows exactly how.

9 Sliced Bread   ~  Dec 2, 2010 7:31 pm

utterly brilliant countermove, and clearly a direct response to the Mitre signing. Those evil geniuses on Yawkey Way are so not fucking around.

10 Chyll Will   ~  Dec 2, 2010 7:46 pm

[2,3] Tom Brady, duh...

11 RIYank   ~  Dec 2, 2010 7:49 pm

Will, could Cp L be an emoticon? Your good at that sort of thing, can you see it?

12 Chyll Will   ~  Dec 2, 2010 10:15 pm

[11] Hmm... It could be him with the catcher's helmet and eyeliner and chest protector if you turn it 90 degrees to the right, or it could be a rather miserable Sux fan...

13 mrp1017   ~  Dec 3, 2010 3:42 am

This guy is such a poser. Excuse me, Captain Red Sux Poser. I didnt see the big C on his shirt. It could stand for several things if you ask me....

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