Beat of the Day
Weeping, for some reason I feel that you are going to appreciate this April Fool, which I think was my favorite of the day.
Nick's out for three months, now.
 Incredible...he couldn't even make it to Opening Day. Man, I wish the Yankees could have snagged Garko.
 Thanks, RI. I want to read it but I have zero powers of focus right now. I was grading and realized all the words were just blurring together, so here I am.
Nice hit, Alex. Way to regroup after flailing at that low and away pitch before.
Why isn't Cashman talking to Jermaine Dye, by the way?
Why did the M's re-sign Griffey instead of signing Dye?
Nick's day-to-day, they say, bruised right knee...
then again, aren't we all merely day-to-day? :-)
 Probably because he was asking for a lot of money (at least as late as the early winter). What's more, Dye has barely been a league average offensive player in 2 of the last 3 seasons, and regressed mightily as an outfielder. Thames may be a better option for the small role either one would fill.
 Griffey is a lefty, but I'd imagine sentimentality (and marketing) came into play.
Injury update on Nick Johnson...bruised knee...he will have surgery and miss the entire season (just kidding).
 Ha ha ah ha ah aha a h !!!
Indeed, Diane, indeed!!!
Injury update on Nick Johnson.. cracked shell... questionable for Easter egg dye dip... marshmallow Peep to bat 2nd for Yankees in season opener...
God damn, that Alex Rodriguez has an arm.
global warming alert... by 2012 Antarctica will not have enough ice to treat Nick Johnson injuries
 The world ends in 2012 anyway. Sadly, on the day of reckoning, Nick Johnson will feel as good as he ever has.
being that Nick Johnson is made of matzoh, wouldn't ice just make his knee soggy?
 I don't believe the world will end in 2012. I believe A-Rod will join forces with Oprah to somehow save us all.
By that logic, we better find this Afi Kommen guy!
A Mariano backwards K.
Never gets old.
Never ever ever gets old.
 I thought so too, but then Oprah had to up and announce her retirement. We're doomed!
In honor of Easter
This is turning into a nightmare...Mariano causes a scare.
that should read "Easter Egg Jermaine Dye Dip"
Cano doing his impression of my JV team. Ugh.
 Diane, rbj mentioned it in the other thread, but David Pinto noted that if the Yankees have real BUC problems, Sunday would be the perfect day for Jesus Montero to rise from the minors...
Old-School Banter Scroll
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RHP Jacob deGrom (2-1, 0.93)
7:05 p.m., YES Network and MLB Network
LHP CC Sabathia (0-3, 4.35)
RHP Matt Harvey (3-0, 3.50)
4:05 p.m., WPIX and FOX Sports 1
RHP Nathan Eovaldi (1-0, 3.12)
LHP Jon Niese (2-0, 1.50)
8:05 p.m., ESPN
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