"A New York Treasure" --Village Voice

Funny Name for a Man…Lance

I’ve never met a Lance that I’ve liked. Knew a kid when I was in fourth grade, lived up the block, Lance. He was a dick. Lance. Never followed one on TV or in sports that I liked, until Lance Berkman, that is. Because Lance Berkman has a good face–doughy and open. Looks like a second-rate opera singer with black eye-liner or a moldy Elvis impersonator. The point is, he’s fun. And according to Jeff Pearlman he’s authentic too, so I think he’ll do just fine in New York.

First Lance I ever cared to like and now will be more than heppy to root for. Here’s hoping there are no late snags on this one and Berkman in this year’s David Justice for Cash Money. I know he’s on the downside of his career, but in this line up he could wake up in a New York minute.

So, bring us some Lancelot P. Berkolllistock with a schmeer. Let’s tip the scales, shall we?

[Photo Credit: Bob Levey/Getty Images North America]

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1 Raf   ~  Jul 31, 2010 12:35 pm

Hope he's more Big Puma than Pete Puma...

2 rbj   ~  Jul 31, 2010 1:34 pm

Now official. Lance to the Yankees.

3 RagingTartabull   ~  Jul 31, 2010 1:40 pm

the Manny rumors are really starting to heat up

4 monkeypants   ~  Jul 31, 2010 1:48 pm

3) i'm not sure what the dodgers are doing. Didn't they just trade for help? So they are buyers, right? But then I read that they are shopping Manny.

Or have completely missed something.

5 weeping for brunnhilde   ~  Jul 31, 2010 1:50 pm

Fuck, Alex, where's that from...
Damn, *so* familiar...
Oh, god, it's killing me, might have to google...

6 rbj   ~  Jul 31, 2010 1:52 pm

Where would Manny fit in in the Yankees lineup. I like Brett's speed.

7 monkeypants   ~  Jul 31, 2010 2:00 pm

6) rationally, you would put him in LF and move Gardner to CF, and then nGrandy would go to the bench or mauve a DH platoon or something.

8 RagingTartabull   ~  Jul 31, 2010 2:02 pm

yeah I didn't mean that the Yanks were in on Manny, just that he's being shopped. White Sox are the tem you're hearing about most. Which wouldn't actually be a bad fit for 2 months.

9 rbj   ~  Jul 31, 2010 2:11 pm

[8] Manny + Ozzie = lots of fun headlines.

10 Just Fair   ~  Jul 31, 2010 2:19 pm

Missed last night's game. Excited about Berkman and Kearns.
[0] Your write up made me think of this Lance. I've never know any personally.

11 RagingTartabull   ~  Jul 31, 2010 3:35 pm

Yanks "on the verge" of getting Kerry Wood

I think the last 24 hours have made us the favorites to win the 2003 World Series

12 weeping for brunnhilde   ~  Jul 31, 2010 3:42 pm

[11] Ha! Very nice!

13 Diane Firstman   ~  Jul 31, 2010 3:49 pm



14 Diane Firstman   ~  Jul 31, 2010 3:51 pm

Ummm ... wow!


The Mariners approached the Braves about taking Chone Figgins off their hands, tweets ESPN's Jerry Crasnick. Crasnick adds that the Braves are also making a late bid for a reliever.


Just 6 months after that signed him to a 4-year, $36 million deal ...

15 Chyll Will   ~  Jul 31, 2010 3:58 pm

Maybe he could switch names with Garth Brooks and we'll all feel that much more understanding about both of them...

16 kenboyer made me cry   ~  Jul 31, 2010 7:35 pm

Lance Link Secret Chimp

17 The Mick536   ~  Aug 1, 2010 9:45 am

Story has it my mother wanted to name me lance, but my brother, already 7, vetoed the idea because he didn't want me being taunted about ants in my pants. the name they came up with, Lorin, didn't stop sissy taunts, even though it was spelled the boys way. That is how I got a nickname.

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