The Yankees looked flatter than George Carlin’s ass last night in a 7-1 loss in Tampa Bay. The Rays–led by spark plug Jonny Gomes, who was seemingly everwhere, running, sliding, high-fiving, all with a cloud of dust around him–looked like the varsity squad, while the Yanks appeared sluggish and old.

“Always, beating the Evil Empire is awesome,” Jonny Gomes said. “They’ve been doing work on us for the last 10 years (a 115-58 advantage). … Anyone in the AL East, we’ll take our wins. But beating those guys is always a little more fun.”
(Marc Topkin, St. Pete Times)

The Rays, winners of five straight, were big, young and strong, not your average girls’ softball team. Matt Garza has some life on his pitches and he attacked the Yankee batters all night. According to Tyler Kepner in the Times:

“He came right after us,” Damon said. “Before we knew it, he was jamming us and making us pop out. That’s what happens when you’re late on the fastball, and it seemed like we were late all day. It just seemed like we couldn’t catch up to it.”

Damon referred to Tuesday’s opponent and said the Yankees could be in for another tough game: “I’m sure Edwin Jackson’s taking notes, saying, ‘These guys couldn’t get through tonight.’ And he has a harder fastball.”

The Yankees, on the other hand, were treated to another uninspired installment of “Bad Andy.” New York is back under .500, at 19-20. And Alex Rodriguez won’t be around for the subway serious this weekend.

At least Chien Ming Wang is pitching tonight.