Is there alternate audio anywhere I can try to ring up on the XM set? Armed Forces Radio? Telemundo? Al-Jazeera?

Fran Drescher tag-teaming with Chris Tucker and the "Oh! My! God!" woman from Friends?

Anything less annoying will do.

Apropos of nothing but I just came across this video of a massive thunderclap sending the Rangers and Twins running for their lives. The big ass clap is within the first couple of seconds. KABOOM!
http://www.businessinsider.com/video-lightning-and-thunder-scares-baseball-players-during-rangers-twins-game-2012-7

[2] Wow!
[1] :) How about the bumble-bee guy from the Simpsons to announce? Or these guys. Laser after each home run.
http://www.grantland.com/blog/the-triangle/post/_/id/29909/listen-to-this-portuguese-announcer-meltdown-over-cristiano-ronaldos-second-goal-against-holland-features-lasers

Get the thing started already.

For those who can't hang with this competition, ESPN2 is showing The Rally-Killing Double Play Ball Derby. It's better than listening to Berman, and this year... It counts!

More alternative programming can be found on Aniimal Planet's "White Guys On Steroids Home Run Derby" in which the competitors wear executioner's masks, and disguise their voices. Compelling tv, but alas... It does not count.

[5] Starring A-Rod?
(I kid because I love.)

On the really long homers, when Chris Berman moans ecstatically and the fountains explode with delight, I get a little uncomfortable.

[8] Something like this? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mZbSGF_Ib_8

Wow, the KC fans are incredible douchebags.

That was so disgusting, I hope the royals are replaced with a terrible team that has no chance of competing and that, if they ever do develop a decent player, has no chance of keeping them. Oh wait.

As a Yankee fan, I'll never forgive them, I hope the Yankee players feel so strongly that they never lose in kc again

You have to admit, though, that they did an excellent job of saving State Farm a pile of money on that lame, useless charity. Hooray! No new baseball field for the Boys and Girls Club of East Lansing!

Damn, Mark Trumbo is fun to watch though.

Fuck you, Royals fans. Heartland kindness my ass. I've never been so angry watching the Derby before. They should be thoroughly embarrassed by their dickish behavior. I hope they go another 27 years without going to the playoffs.

Way to celebrate baseball, assholes.

What happened?

Sorry for all the cursing, but I just got so angry listening to the KC "fans" cheer Cano's failure. He's a nice guy, great player, and his father is throwing to him. What has Cano ever done to those morons?

Cano took an 0-fer, and with each successive out, the KC "fans" booed Cano louder and louder and louder.

And cheered louder and longer every time he missed a home run. I haven't seen such a complete dick move by a fan base since the Patriots, while celebrating their 1st Super Bowl win, led a million people in a "Yankees suck" chant from the steps of Boston City Hall. Because, you know, nothing says "We the best football team in the world" like putting down a team in a completely different sport.

Not that I'm still bitter or anything, 10 years later.

Man, just got home and am more interested about the Cano comments. WTF! It's non sensical. It's not like there's a Cano-Kansas City rivalry or bad blood or anything. Fuck those hayseeds. I've been to that park and had a great time, but c'mon. Hey look America, we've been irrelevant since the 80's. But now we're semi-competitive and the ASB puts us in the spotlight, so we'll show you we can hate on the Yankees, too. Douchebags. As for Bautista, fuck him. He's a Blue Jay. : )

[20] Yes, there is bad blood. They are angry because he didn't pick Billy Butler to be in the HR Derby.

It's idiotic, asinine, and moronic, I know, (and they are douche bags) but they did have a reason. They are not just booing because he's a Yankee.

Ruined the whole thing for me, too.

[21] I read the Banter first before seeing that news on Lohud. I am still annoyed and I didn't even see it. I am going to go out on a limb and say Robbie didn't waste too much thought on who to pick. Ah, well. What's another team to curse? lol...
I'm glad he didn't have to exert too much energy tonight. He's just warming up for the second half.

Rob didn't seem too concerned about it, so I'm over it. But it does give lie to the whole 'heartland' culture thing, yeah. I think it's a lesson in the ugly psychology of crowds. People hate better in crowds.

[23] great point, I read his quotes this am and was very proud of him. Best 2b in baseball, MVP candidate, good dude. Still wouldn't mind a 5 year winning streak in KC.

From what I read, Cano "promised" he'd put a Royal on the team. If so they have a decent reason to be annoyed but that was still a bit much. Someone actually paid for a plane to fly a whiney banner on the subject.

I don't believe Cano didn't care though. Look how excited he was last year when he did well. There's gotta be an inverse to it. Plus I think his dad got unnerved and that probably bothered Cano too.

[15] - couldn't agree more. What a bunch of classless douchehats.
(and listening to Chris Berman just irritated me even more).

I also had a friend of mine/Mets fan who took the bashing to Facebook and somehow managed to flip the topic to how all the Yankees are cheats (a/k/a - steroid users). Not sure how the f*ck that happened or why he chose parlay THAT into discussion about the home run derby, but he was quickly shot down - by me...who is completely non-confrontational! I surprised even myself...

I miss the Homerun Derby, but heard about the Kansas City fans booing Robbie. Eh, they are losers. We know it, they know it, and everyone in baseball know it. They have a loser owner who can buy and sell them a million times over, but won't spend a penny to improve their team which fails year after year.

Umm, ignore the grammatical errors above.