Never mind the band aids:
Let’s Go Yank-ees!
[Photo Credit: Aberrant Beauty]
Hmmm. At the start of the season I'd have penciled in the first 6. The last 3, not so much.
RHP Brandon McCarthy vs. RHP Max Scherzer
RHP Hiroki Kuroda vs. LHP David Price
LHP Chris Capuano vs. RHP Justin Verlander
RHP Shane Greene vs.RHP Rick Porcello
Kuroda aside, looks like lambs to slaughter.
I'm not tooptimistic.
 Can't predict baseball.
Otoh, nice 1st inning for BMAC.
Well, if we get Scherzer next year, he won't be able to keep his uniform number. That's Casey's.
 Don't want him. He has control problems, obviously.
That's just tonight
 Well, you mean he used to be able to control his pitches, but now he can't.
Somehow I think the former Cy Young winner will settle down, though I recall he hasn't done that well against the Yankees in the past.
 Listen, everybody has to suck eventually.
No, I'm just kidding, I'd take Scherzer in a heartbeat.
Hey, lookie here, the game is on in Canadia. Unfortunately, I tune in to see Tigers all over the bases.
Still, you have to admit, he's no Brandon McCarthy.
 Detroit is in Canada, right?
YOUR 2014 CY YOUNG LOCK, BRANDON MCCARTHY!
O'Neill getting overly dramatic, it's the 2nd inning...
 it would be an act of war to give Detroit to Canada.
He's unhittable. What a stud.
 Oh, you aren't a big Scherzer fan either, huh?
What about Marshall Mathers?
4 ks in the inning. Hope he gets through 5.
Meant 3 ks
 I do like Scherzer, was thinking about the city.
As for M.M., I'm not a fan of rap.
 Eminem transcends the genre.
It's like Lyle Lovett.
Wait, I just saw that Teixeira was scratched from the lineup because of light-headedness? Does he have the vapors?
 He's pregnant.
Walking Miggy isn't a bad thing.
 Maybe low red blood count, or an allergy?
rbj, with all sympathies; is everything back to normal with the water in Toledo and vacinity? That is some serious situation, different to what happened in WV months ago.
 No, but it's preferable to walk him on four or five pitches.
 I thought the vapors was Victorian polite society's term for spontaneous female sexual excitement?
 Well, that certainly is onemedical condition that can be predicted.
 Are we being John and Suzyn? If so, which am I???
Those were a couple of bad looking bunt attempts.
 Thanks. It appears to be. Water restrictions lifted, the mayor even drank a glass of tap water on air. I'm going to wait a day though. Algae season isn't over yet. The thing is apparently a neurotoxin, but at 2 parts per billion will only cause vomiting and the runs.
Base hit > bunt > failed bunt
Whoa, why did Ichiro hold up?
It's the third inning. No bunting by a .300 hitter!
See, a hit is much better.
Oh, come on. Holy shit. What a catch.
How did he catch that?
 What happens when a whole metropolitan area gets the runs? ugh.
No joke, but a lot of chapped asses.
Okay, nice, I was going to be kind of depressed if we only got the one run out of that.
 there was a break out of it in Brazil a few years ago. 75 dialysis patients died.
Sherzer looks like the Cy Young winner? Shiny score truck. A ridiculous catch kept 3 more off the board.
Hey guys, cut the "runs" chatter. I'm having a colonoscopy tomorrow,
Jeez, Scherzer got kind of lucky that inning. I mean, lucky to have strong defense behind him.
How did they score only two runs that inning? It sure felt like more.
That should have been more.
Now a shut down inning has to happen.
Is T. Hunter a HOFer?
This McCarthy can question my patriotism anytime!
And if he is, then Bernie Williams should be a dead lock.
 I'd say no. For several years he was probably the best outfielder in baseball, but he just hasn't hit enough for the Hall.
He has about 50 WAR -- average HoF outfielders have about 70.
 I ran with the other McCarthy politician a week or so ago, but I was thinking about that one too. I even have one joke prepared but it only works when he spins a stinker.
Hey look, it's rich people flirting with ball players.
 Are you now, or have you ever been a Red . . . Sox.
 Thanks. It's just that for about 5 years there was no more exciting OFer in baseball. Robbing Bonds of a HR in the ASG was one of the greatest of all time. (Was it the ASG?)
Whoa, I thought he was out at 2B there. Let's watch the replay. Yep, safe.
 Yes, in '02.
Shouldn't Gutsy be batting third at this point? Especially with Tex out of the lineup.
Oh, come on, that is just ridiculous.
Why on earth didn't Prado score, for one thing?
Well that was sub-optimal.
Why didn't Prado go home on the rundown?
Well that sucked.
Somehow we've turned 4 very well hit balls into 1 run and 4 outs.
 Why didn't he go home from 2B on a groundball basehit with 2 outs?
 Exactly. Or more precisely, why was he held?
[73 74] on that hit, Prado would have been out by 15 feet. The ball was hit hard and fielded in shallow RF.
Rough couple of innings for Prado.
Prado would have been gunned downed by 30 feet. fwiw.
  He would have been out by 45 feet.
That's why you should never slide feet first.
 Actually, I thought he was out at 3B.
What a horrible fucking error by Prado. Fucking Bollocks!
Sheeit. Lead must be protected here.
Nice job by McCarthy. Miggy shivers me and everyone 's timbers.
Scherzer getting squeezed, I like it.
 I bet Bob Lemon used to get squeezed all the time, huh?
It was low, Max.
That GD 2nd baseman is killin' the Yanks!
Beltran never should have walked, and  Chuckle.
THIS game feels spooked.
Whew. Just foul.
Time for the pen.
Wow thems a lot of pitches from MCarthy
Uh oh. Matt Thornton is throwing.
Great game thread here, Banterites. Ma&Pa Sterling, puns, colonoscopys, toxic water, HOFer comparisons, 'vapors'. Not sure what I can add!
Big hand for The Senator.
Not second guessing Girardi there. Worth the try.
Man, my cable is KILLING me tonight. Dropping my internet connection every 10 damn minutes.
 you can jazz it up.
9 to go.
 bring Edo style?
Who's tired of the "piece of hitting" cliche. Like it's tangible.
Speaking of the HOF...
So I see Omar Vizquel is on the Tigers coaching staff. He was a known as a very good defensive SS in his day and had some pretty decent individual seasons, but generally he was a very poor hitter and overall was not truly a great player. He played forever and amassed 2800+ hits.
Has there ever been a less good player to get so close to 3000 hits?
 You should give them a piece of your mind about it.
 Longevity doesn't matter, otherwise Kaat would be in. And Damon is close to 2800 hits
 I can jazz things up with CLICHES! Cause I always give 110%, take every blog comment one at a time and try not to do too much. This is a funny game but I just try to stay within myself and help our my BanterMates as best I can.
 Oh, I misread and was thinking of the best player not to get 3000. That was easier.
Hmmmm. Harold Baines? But Vizquel was really bad at hitting.
 no less good player, but you have to admire longevity.
 I can't afford to.
 that reminds me of a phrase we used in the fifties and sixties. "Now she's a piece of ass."
 Johnny Damon? How does Omar compare to Ozzie?
Scooter finally made it to the Hall. Not that he didn't deserve it, I mean, he lost time to war and I'm not saying a bad word about him but if we are going to compare shortstops. The rings help Scooter, but Paulie has five, should that be taken into account for him?
Andy has another season in the post season, with a better winning percentage than regular season so I can factor playoffs into the mix.
 But wasn't Damon a better player than Vizquel, especially in his peak? Likewise one could point to Harold Baines, a fine hitter but not dominant. who played a long time but mostly at DH. Who was better, BAines or Vizquel?
No wonder they traded A-Jax.
 but that is tangible!
 I looked up Ozzie---the Wizard was much better (87 OPS+, 76.5 Career WAR v. 82 OPS+, 45.3 WAR).
For Vizquel, much depends on his defense. He had a great reputation, but I always thought he was somewhat overrated with the glove.
On the other hand, this Cabrera guy seems to be a weak hitter.
Miggy has been neutralized (in honor of cliche night).
They've defeated Miggy twice with a chance to tie it. Can't blow this game, fellas.
Wait, I did point to Baines!
I think he was marginally worse than Vizquel. Damon was certainly much better.
A nice stat for this is WAA: wins above average, rather than above replacement. Damon had 19 for his career, Vizquel had 5. But Baines amassed a mere 1.6. He was basically an average player.
Oh, Shawn Kelley. Hm, I was hoping for a second Warren inning. Any chance he starts the eighth?
 But don't 'average' players who have 20 year careers deserve to be in the hall? Quite impressive to play MLB at that level for so long..I don't have a problem with compilers getting if the opposite cases like Koufax and Puckett get in..
 Ahh, good stuff. I assume that being basically a career DH hurt Baines considerably, since his 121 OPS+ is pretty respectable.
 Really? No, I don't think average players belong in the Hall! Definitely not. Of course, nobody suggested that Harold Baines should be in the Hall. He topped out at 6% of the vote.
 Right, he was just an average DH, is the point. It's true that an average DH is apt to be a very good hitter, but he's still just average at his position.
 What about compilers who are relievers? Jesse Orosco, Mike Stanton and John Franco are the top three in appearances, and played in 24, 19, and 21 years. Or Lee Smith and John Franco, who compiled tons of career saves?
That was a gift.
I like Headley.
OK, worst player to get 3000 or more hits? Biggio? Brock?
Hey, nice job, Shawn!
Maybe he gets to pitch the ninth?
 But someone who played at a consistent level in the majors for that long is not 'average'. Takes incredible skill and stamina to play that long, no?
Jessie Orosco in the HOF, yes!
 In a save situation™?? That's just cooky talk.
 Still thinking. They're all pretty damn good.
 We're only talking about average for a MLB player. I am aware that that's really good for a human being!
 But D-Rob isn't available, is he?
 He's warming now.
How about Robin Yount for Worst in the 3000 Club?
He was the worst hitter, I think. He did play a skill position, and if I recall correctly he was good at it -- I didn't see him much, but he had a good defensive reputation, right?
 Okay, I feel better.
Can this team at least make a try to get an insurance run?
 Robin Yount was surely better than some of the old time guys in the 3000 club?
 I'm a 'big hall' 'it's a museum' guy. Put in more people. We all know who the top guys are anyways.
 But Jazz is arguing, I think, that it is very hard for a MLB player to maintain being an average MLB player over the course of a very long career. It's really an extreme form of the graek peak v. longevity argument. I don't agree with him, but that's his point, I think.
Oh, Eddie Murray. He must be the worst 3000 hit player.
 Yep! What guys like Baines, Biggio, Tommy John, Jim Kaat, etc did is quite amazing. Think about what it must take to play in the bigs for THAT long and never really show any decline.
 He played two skill positions, SS and CF, and if I recall from my youth, he had a pretty good defensive reputation. He did benefit from coming up really really young, which allowed him to have a long career. Plus, he was Mr. Brewer, which bought him some goodwill, which may have let him play longer and get more hits.
Okay, well, if someone could be an average MLB player for forty years, I'd be pretty impressed, how's that?
 Are you checking to see if we are awake? Yount was an outstanding professional hitter who played short, then center field
 RI, you are totally goofy tonight!
 hasn't "no tell Dotel" (cliche night) pitched 40 years?
 But he was not nearly as good a hitter as the other 3000 guys. Agree? As I said, every member of that club is really good. We're just looking for the least good.
But I withdraw my Yount nomination in favor of Murray.
 Lou Brock? Craig Biggio? But yeah, he's somewhere near the bottom ...
 And he won an MVP at each position.
 LaTroy Hawkins? He and Dotel in that Kent Tekulve club for sure.
Put me down in the longevity is a HoF skill. At any point, there are 700 men who can play MLB baseball. To not be kicked out in favor of an average rookie who costs less means you are pretty good.
Being pretty good at the major league level for twenty years is special.
 Eddie Murray, the all-time MLB record holder for career Sac Flies?!? : )
Yount had a career OPS of .772. Not bad for a SS, but not in the same class as those other guys.
Oh, Lou Brock, hm. And Monkeypants even mentioned him in the question. Yeah, Brock was worse at hitting.
Brock might be our winner.
Murray - 129
Ripken - 112
Brock - 109
Biggio - 112
Yount - 115
What a satisfying ball game, and nice banter to go with it!
ALABAMA HAMMA JAMMA! Yankees Win!
 He can go in the Hall of Productive Outs.
woo hoo. Night all.
That was a great win. This team pretending to contend?
 He must have won at least three Most Valuable Playing it the Right Way awards.
 Team player!
Time to head out into the frozen tundra of 39C Heat Hendex here (that's 102.2 for you guys). Great win & banter!
 That sounds horrible! Stay cool!
Wish I had been around tonight. The drums don't play themselves though...
 Sometimes they do! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X1jsU1lBZMc
 haha, very cool!
kinda like the cyborg stick that's on one of the robotic arms i got for my student!
Old-School Banter Scroll
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