"A New York Treasure" --Village Voice

Old Jews Telling Jokes

I love the idea of this site and it’s got one of the best names ever. It’s one to keep an eye on. I don’t know if there are any true classics on there yet, but it’s still pretty cool. I like this one.

Share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter Share via email %PRINT_TEXT


1 Cliff Corcoran   ~  Mar 1, 2009 10:49 am

Very nice. I particularly like that you don't see the punchline coming.

2 Just Fair   ~  Mar 1, 2009 11:56 am

On one of the earlier Seinfled episodes Kramer brings back his Polar Bear Club buddies to the apartment. One of the older Jewish guys is riffing to Elaine about kangaroos. He finishes it up by saying the males have pouch envy. It cracks me up every time i see it.

3 OldYanksFan   ~  Mar 1, 2009 12:54 pm

Oh boy!
How do you tell the difference between a female Jew and a female gentile?

4 Chyll Will   ~  Mar 1, 2009 2:10 pm

I didn't hear the punchline that well, so I don't know what he said :(

5 randym77   ~  Mar 1, 2009 2:19 pm

Anyone following the game?

Brett Gardner hit a home run...

6 Chyll Will   ~  Mar 1, 2009 2:23 pm

[5] GTFOH!! He wants it!

7 monkeypants   ~  Mar 1, 2009 2:47 pm

[5] Brett is hanging out with A-Rod's cousin?

8 randym77   ~  Mar 1, 2009 3:12 pm

Brett really reminds me of Bubba Crosby. Scrappy, speedy little lefty...who is perhaps too speedy for his own good. He popped it up, but got to 2B when the fielder dropped it. But didn't stop running, and was out at 3B.

9 randym77   ~  Mar 1, 2009 3:44 pm

And Christian Garcia gives up a salami, and the lead.

10 Horace Clarke Era   ~  Mar 1, 2009 3:47 pm

Who might be this ... Gardner? I do not know him. It is a puzzlement.

Meanwhile, why do I have a foreboding (cue music) that Cashman is contemplating the most preliminary of chats with Pudge's agent, or maybe even flipping his rolodex idly and finding Texas popping up a lot. If Jorge cannot catch we have a very serious mess there, and at DH.

Ah, well, it is barely March, right?

11 Joseph   ~  Mar 1, 2009 4:11 pm

Been following the game while doing some chores around the house and it's basically been a chamber of horrors for Yankee pitching as every NY pitcher has given up runs so far. And now Montero has left with some sort of groin injury sustained on a passed ball. Ugh.

12 randym77   ~  Mar 1, 2009 4:58 pm

It's over. 13-11 Reds.

13 RIYank   ~  Mar 1, 2009 5:42 pm

Great site, thanks Alex. I liked the broccoli joke the best, I think. But really it's the tellers, not the jokes, that make the site.

14 Mr. OK Jazz TOKYO   ~  Mar 1, 2009 7:35 pm

awesome site!!

Homer J: "A Jewish entertainer??"

Lisa: "Sure dad, there are many Jewish entertainers..Barbra Streisand, Sammy Davis Jr, Mel Brooks.."

Homer J: "Mel Brooks is JEWISH???"

15 Mr. OK Jazz TOKYO   ~  Mar 1, 2009 8:13 pm

My uncle sent me this one (hope this is suitable for the site and zero offense intended to anyone..full disclosure: my Unc is a practicing Muslim but he's a bit of Krusty the Klown chracter so loves a good Muslim joke)

"A man is taking a walk in Central park in New York. Suddenly he sees a little girl being attacked by a pit bull dog . He runs over and starts fighting with the dog. He succeeds in killing the dog and saving the girl's life. A policeman who was watching the scene walks over and says: "You are a hero, tomorrow you can read it in all the newspapers: "Brave New Yorker saves the life of little girl" The man says: - "But I am not a New Yorker!" "Oh ,then it will say in newspapers in the morning: 'Brave American saves life of little girl'" – the policeman answers. "But I am not an American!" – says the man. "Oh, what are you then? " The man says: - "I am a Saudi !" The next day the newspapers says: "Islamic extremist kills innocent American dog."

16 randym77   ~  Mar 1, 2009 8:35 pm

[15] Weirdly, I first heard that as a Yankees-Red Sox joke.

Two boys are playing hockey on a pond in Central Park when one is attacked by a rabid Rottweiler.

Thinking quickly, the other boy takes his stick, wedges it down the dog's collar and twists, breaking the dog's neck.

A reporter who was strolling by sees the incident, and rushes over to interview the boy. "Young Rangers Fan Saves Friend from Vicious Animal," he starts writing in his notebook.

"But I'm not a Rangers fan," the little hero replied.

"Sorry, since we are in New York, I just assumed you were," said the reporter. "Yankees Fan Rescues Friend From Horrific Attack" he continued writing in his notebook.

"I'm not a Yankees fan either," the boy said.

"I assumed everyone in New York was either for the Rangers or Yankees. What team do you root for?" the reporter asked.

"I'm a Red Sox fan," the child replied.

The reporter starts a new sheet in his notebook and writes, "Little Bastard from Boston kills Beloved Family Pet."

(I've also heard it the other way around, with incident supposedly taking place on Boston Common.)

17 Mr. OK Jazz TOKYO   ~  Mar 2, 2009 12:43 am

[16] That's great, hadn't heard that one!

Also just got sent one from Scotland..

"Bono from U2 is doing a concert when he quiets down the crowd, begins an impassioned speech, and starts to slowly clap, spotlight on him..`Every time I clap my hands, a young child in Africa dies..'
A voice from the crowd in thick Glaswgian-accent shouts 'well stop fookin clappin then!' "

18 PJ   ~  Mar 2, 2009 9:15 am

Speaking of hilarity and Scottish things, Barkley "learns golf" tonight! For the uninitiated, Charles Barkley is to golf what Steve Sax and Chuck Knoblauch were throwing to 1B and Jason Giambi is throwing anywhere, combined!


feed Share on Facebook Share on Twitter Share via email
"This ain't football. We do this every day."
--Earl Weaver