"A New York Treasure" --Village Voice

Good News For People Who Like Bad Names

Exciting news, sports fans: the Yankees have claimed RH reliever Brian Schlitter from the Cubs. I can’t remember who Chicago was playing at the time – maybe the Mets, possibly the Dodgers – but I remember taking note of Schlitter during a game last season and thinking that the announcer, whoever he was, ought to be going very, very carefully.

I would like to start brainstorming now in preparation for the coming season. On Twitter, SNY’s own @OGTedBerg has already offered up “It’s a Schlitt Storm!” and “This game has gone down the Schlitter.” @d_limonene suggested the phrase “Schlitt the bed.” To which I would also like to add:


Anyway, one day — maybe in April, maybe July, possibly September — John Sterling is going to slip up on this, and it is going to be beautiful. Yes, apparently I’m 12 tonight.


1 OldYanksFan   ~  Jan 5, 2011 11:25 pm

Move over Rusty Kuntz!
OK.... this is important.
I rely on the collective intelligence and wit of the Banter.
What if Schlitter's first name was ______________ ?

2 Diane Firstman   ~  Jan 5, 2011 11:28 pm




If they make him a starter, he could pitch a "no-schlitter"!

3 Just Fair   ~  Jan 5, 2011 11:30 pm

The fat head on the radio will be happy when the Schlitt hits the Fan.

4 Cliff Corcoran   ~  Jan 5, 2011 11:40 pm

You have got to be Schlitting me.

5 Mattpat11   ~  Jan 5, 2011 11:45 pm

At least he's not a lefty

6 Boatzilla   ~  Jan 6, 2011 12:13 am

[1] Harry?

Hilarious Emma. I nearly Shlitt myself.

"Ya know, Susan, it seem like Shlitter's a bit stiff today. Perhaps he hasn't had time to loosen up."

Anyway, nice move by Cashman.

7 Raf   ~  Jan 6, 2011 12:21 am

[1] Jack?

8 thelarmis   ~  Jan 6, 2011 12:37 am


9 Emma Span   ~  Jan 6, 2011 1:24 am

I love you guys.

10 Mr OK Jazz Tokyo   ~  Jan 6, 2011 4:48 am

If he trained with Gaylord Perry we could get great "Schilter's Spitter" headlines too.

11 Diane Firstman   ~  Jan 6, 2011 8:31 am

Regardless of his ability AT the plate, when he undoubtedly gets released, he'll be our "Designated Schlitter"

12 Diane Firstman   ~  Jan 6, 2011 8:35 am

Is Schlitter on Twitter?
Is he constipated, cause I hear he has a great back-up slider.
He is one of the few players in today's game to still have a stool in front of his locker.
Speaking of which, would Dulcolax be considered a PED for him?
For Schlitter, every opposing batter is his enema.
I have a feeling that if he doesn't pitch well, the Yanks may suggest a Bartolo Colonscopy.

(I'm here all week ... try the Bob Veale).

13 Diane Firstman   ~  Jan 6, 2011 8:48 am

The Yanks MUST now acquire THIS guy to locker next to Schlitter.


(yes, I'm 12 years old too) :-)

14 Diane Firstman   ~  Jan 6, 2011 8:59 am

Anagrams of Brian Schlitter include:
Belch irritants
Isn't crab Hitler
Rich, silent brat
In rectal births
Birth rectal sin
Brain retch list

15 rbj   ~  Jan 6, 2011 9:07 am

You know how various parts of the game are now promoted by various companies, like the "AT&T call to the bull pen"?

I suggest that the Yankees make a deal with Metamucil.

16 BronxToCT   ~  Jan 6, 2011 9:34 am

A beer endorsement? -- has to be Schlitz!

17 Will Weiss   ~  Jan 6, 2011 10:54 am

[0] So many options:

* "Girardi is going to the Schlitter."

* "The Yankees breathe a huge sigh of relief after the performance by Schlitter."

* "Schlitter has exploded."

* "Schlitter has made a mess of this game."

* "Schlitter brings nothing but pain."

* "Schlitter can't stop the (opposing team's) runs."

* "Schlitter is throwing nothing but ... junk."

Question, and the linguistic pro that Diane is, she may be best served to answer: would the past tense form of his appearances be "Schlat"?

18 Chyll Will   ~  Jan 6, 2011 11:17 am

[1] It's obvious what you're trying to obtain, but I had to give it ten seconds of thought and conclude that even I wouldn't go there >;)

19 Diane Firstman   ~  Jan 6, 2011 11:32 am


Yeah, I'd go with "Schlat" ...

20 Sliced Bread   ~  Jan 6, 2011 11:48 am

people who don't clean up after their dogs should be fined for schlittering, because that's precisely what it is.

21 Sliced Bread   ~  Jan 6, 2011 11:56 am

John Schterling: Sheesh, Schushan, Schlitter's getting schlaughtered out there.
Shushan Waldman: He schure is, John. Schuppose we'll schoon schee schomeone warming up to replacshe him?
John Schterling: Yesh, indeed, Schusan and then we can schtop talking like thisch.

22 standuptriple   ~  Jan 6, 2011 3:07 pm

Can't wait to see who makes the Schlit-list (K's?)

23 OldYanksFan   ~  Jan 7, 2011 12:07 am

If he was drafted, they could say:
"In the 3rd round, the Yankees took a Schlitt."

24 OldYanksFan   ~  Jan 7, 2011 12:07 am

And oh boy... nobody could accuse us of being bored.

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"This ain't football. We do this every day."
--Earl Weaver