"A New York Treasure" --Village Voice

I'm Walkin' Here

I went to pick up chicken soup in my neighborhood last night and when I went to pay I wished the cashier a happy new year.

“Got any resolutions?” she said?

“Yeah, to be kinder to myself.”

“Oh,” she said, and looked at me. “That’s really cool.”

I surprised myself with that answer. Sometimes, you are honest when you don’t mean to be.

I walked outside and the street was clogged with cars. One guy, four cars behind the putz who stopped in the middle of the street, started leaning on the horn. “That’s not going to help,” I said to nobody.

I walked across the street and saw a man in a wheelchair yell, “That’s not going to help!”

I smiled as I walked past him and shrugged, “Sometimes, people can’t help themselves I guess.”

The man glared at the traffic. “Moron.”

“Yeah, you know it’s just so tempting, though. You are irritated, stuck in traffic, it’s the end of the day, and you’ve got that horn right there. How can you not press it?”

“Well, I’m tempted to throw a brick through a window but that doesn’t mean I’m going to do it.”

“Point taken.”

New York is a funny town.

[Picture by Bags]


1 ms october   ~  Jan 6, 2011 10:21 am

cool story alex.
all good points.

and great picture bags.

2 RagingTartabull   ~  Jan 6, 2011 10:59 am

It was Johnson Ave, that parking lot, wasn't it?

3 Alex Belth   ~  Jan 6, 2011 11:03 am

close enough, right outside of Liebmann's...

4 Raf   ~  Jan 6, 2011 11:20 am

There's always that one idiot that leans on the horn, usually a nanosecond after the light turns green. What makes it especially pathetic is that said idiot is usually 4-5 deep in a line of cars...

5 Chyll Will   ~  Jan 6, 2011 11:27 am

Officer Barbrady: Yes, at first I was happy to be learning how to read. It seemed exciting and magical, but then I read this: Atlas Shrugged by Ayn Rand. I read every last word of this garbage, and because of this piece of s**t, I am never reading again!

First thing that popped into my mind, sorry...

6 Chyll Will   ~  Jan 6, 2011 11:38 am

[5] I did this one time after a buddy of mine told me what he does:

Some idiot started tailgating me on a one-way street, and when I stopped at a stop sign, he honked the horn. I put the car in park, got out the car, slowly took my jacket off, dressed it on my seatback, looked the guy in they eye with a big toothy grin and waved enthusiastically. He was so shocked that he sat there the whole time I was doing this before pulling around quickly and driving off, still staring. Sometimes you feel like a nut...

7 The Mick536   ~  Jan 6, 2011 1:23 pm

[0] Like this only happens in NY.

[6] People have been killed for less.

Two early twenties wrestled on staid Church St in Burlington, while the girl over whom they squabbled stood still, shivering in her oh-too-tight spandex and quilted jacket that barely covered her butt, shouted expletives at one of them, not the one who was thrown towards the window of Eddie Bauer as he broke out of a head lock. Recovering his balance, he raised his fist and said, "the next time I see you ...." The two walked off, cursing, looking back at no one in particular, the other guy having split before the junior G-men in their faux cop suits who patrol the street showed up to issue no trespass orders that would have inhibited further shopping in the area for an indeterminate time. A guy on a bicycle passed near where I stood. "One was scared and the other was happy about that."

8 hiscross   ~  Jan 6, 2011 6:41 pm

Atlas Shrugged

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"This ain't football. We do this every day."
--Earl Weaver