If you weren’t able to stay up late with Yankees on Friday night, you missed a comfortably boring Yankee win. Years ago major league teams would fill up their off days by hopping on the team bus and driving to play an exhibition with their AAA affiliates. (Imagine what Josh Beckett and today’s union would have to say about that!) It would keep the major leaguers sharp, give bench players an opportunity to play a full nine, give the minor league players a taste of the Show, and give a nice boost to the triple A team’s cash box.

That’s what it felt like Friday night in Oakland. (Heck, the YES Network even sent out their minor league broadcasting team, Ken Singleton and Bob Lorenz; Lorenz kept confusing Jemile Weeks and Cliff Pennington, two players who, um, don’t look anything alike. Singleton finally corrected him the last time he did it.)

There is no truth to the rumor that the Oakland franchise has petitioned the league to change its official nickname from the Athletics to the Anemics; that’s just the way they’ve been hitting. A quick scan of their starting nine reveals batting averages that look like this: 200, 167, 272, 226, 250, 147, 210, 217, and 215. Forty-six games into the season they’re still hitting just .210 as a team, easily the worst mark in baseball. (Immediately above them is the Pittsburgh Pirates at .217, the Yankees are hitting .265, and the Texas Rangers set the pace at .288. No one on the Oakland roster is hitting .288.)*

So Yankee starter Ivan Nova could be excused for drooling like Wile E. Coyote as he took the mound against this Mollycoddlers Row. Nova cruised through the first three innings, notching four groundouts and two strikeouts while yielding just a hit and a walk. Sure, he would give up a solo home run in the fourth inning to Josh Reddick, the only bat of substance in this sea of mediocrity, but that was more a mental mistake than a physical one; I can’t imagine why Reddick ever gets anything to hit.

Meanwhile, the Yankee hitters weren’t trouncing A’s starter Tyson Ross, but they were pushing him around a bit, kind of like a cat with an injured mouse or when Ali kept Floyd Patterson standing long enough to punish and humiliate him. Curtis Granderson and Alex Rodríguez singled in the first, but were stranded. Nick Swisher doubled in the second, but was stranded. Looking at the box score it looks like this was just more Yankee ineptitude with runners in scoring position, but somehow it felt different watching the game. Ross was a man racing down a dark alley, struggling to keep ahead of the Score Truck at his heels. He wouldn’t last long.

It started in the third, thanks to center fielder Coco Crisp, who is decidedly less cocky and irritating in that Oakland uniform. Two batters after a Granderson single, Robinson Canó ripped a bullet to right center. Crisp raced to his left and had the ball in his sites, but then appeared to actually overrun the ball, and it skipped off the thumb of his glove and bounced to the wall. Granderson scored easily and Canó coasted into second. A few pitches later Mark Teixeira — who may actually be alive — lurched at a pitch and jerked it over the scoreboard in right for a two-run homer and a 3-0 Yankee lead.

In the fourth it might have looked like the Yankees squandered another opportunity to put the game on ice, but I’d argue the game was already on ice. This was just gamesmanship designed to keep the home fans in their seats. Playing in his old park for the first time (the park where he was projected as a Hall of Famer, by the way), Eric Chávez drew a quick walk, then advanced to third on Russell Martin’s double. With no one out and Derek Jeter, Granderson, and Rodríguez due up, it looked like things were about to get ugly. They kinda did. Jeter looped a harmless foul ball to first for out number one (Jeter would go 0 for 5 on the night and see his average plummet to .339, his lowest mark since April 8th), then Granderson walked to load the bases with one out. A-Rod promptly grounded into a double play to end the inning.

You were asleep at this point, so this won’t make sense to you — but somehow it didn’t matter that the Yankees had failed to break the game open. Somehow, at 3-0 in the fourth, it already felt broken open. Like a piñata, only the Yankees were the big kids on the side of the party who were too cool to rush in and grab the candy.

Reddick’s home run in the bottom half would cut the Yankee lead to 3-1, but it felt more like when you were playing your little brother in ping pong and you let him get a couple points so he wouldn’t cry in the end.**

Canó led off the fifth by putting an absolutely beautiful swing on the second pitch he saw. The ball was headed for dead center field, so it looked a bit strange when Canó confidently swung his bat down to the ground as he does when he knows he’s blistered one into the seats. Center field in Oakland, after all, is quite a long ways away. But Canó’s blast cleared the wall with ease, and the lead was 4-1. Teixeira came up next and blooped a hit down the line in left. When it bounded past a diving Seth Smith, Teixeira lumbered into second for a double, but then forgot two things: one, he’s the slowest man in America; and two, there were no outs. He kept lumbering for third, but was thrown out easily. Raúl Ibáñez came up next and rifled a double of his own over Crisp; Swisher then flicked an opposite field homer to left. Four batters had come up in the inning, and the results had been homer, double, double, homer. As Swisher joyfully circled the bases, I had an image of Ali mercilessly jabbing Patterson over and over, punctuating each jab with a taunt: “What’s my name?” Jab. “What’s my name?” Jab. “What’s my name?” Tyson Ross was done for the night.

The A’s pieced together another run in the bottom of the fifth. After opening the frame with a single from Josh Donaldson and a double from Daric Barton, Oakland got a deep sacrifice fly off the bat of Kurt Suzuki to cut the lead to 6-2. Nova would escape without further damage, but he still appeared to vomit into his glove as he walked off the mound. A solo home run from the best name in baseball, Kila Ka’aihue, accounted for the final score: Yankees 6, Lollipop Guild 3.

Nova pitched well enough to win, and the bullpen was as effective as usual. Rafael Soriano picked up the save, but he floated a curve ball with two outs and gave up a booming double to Donaldson, meaning Soriano still hasn’t recorded a 1-2-3 inning this season. No pitcher in baseball with as many innings pitched as Soriano has failed to set the side down in order at least once.

It’s been fun picking on the Athletics here, and I’m sure the Yankees will have more fun on Saturday and Sunday afternoons, but here’s a quick splash of cold water: Only two and a half games separate these two teams in the standings. Doh.

* Even though it’s irrelevant to this game, I can’t resist sharing another interesting stat that jumped out at me as I was scanning those team numbers. Josh Hamilton (19) has more home runs than the San Diego Padres (18). That’s a race worth watching.

** Okay, I’ve just reread this post, and I’m not sure I could’ve squeezed in more metaphors and similes if I had tried. I admit it, I’m an English teacher.

[Photo Credit: Ben Margot/AP Photo]

As requested the Score Truck screeched into the Stadium tonight before the Yanks take off for the west coast.

Curtis Granderson hit a home run in the first and Alex Rodriguez followed a couple of batters later with a two-run dinger. And Rodriguez was pumped.

He was even more amped when he crushed a solo shot to center field his next time up (and cursed himself when he grounded out with the bases loaded in his third at bat). The Yanks scrapped together a few more runs on a night when the Royals pitched, well, like the same old Royals.

Andy Pettitte was crisp, Mark Teixeira and Derek Jeter turned a thrilling double play, as the Yanks won a laugher, 8-3.

And Bronx Banter was full of heppy kets.

[Photo Credit: Al Bello/Getty Images]

Arod and Teixeira teamed up to record the final out of the game. (Photo: AP)

It wasn’t the resounding breakout game most Yankees’ fans have been desperately anticipating, but on the strength of three runs, and Alex Rodriguez’ game ending throw, the Bronx Bombers finally managed to squeak out a much needed victory.

May has mostly been a gloomy month for the Yankees, but one bright spot has been the baby steps taken by Phil Hughes. In tonight’s game, the right hander broke out of the gate strong, but then fell victim to two old bugaboos. In the top of the third, Hughes left an 0-2 pitch over the plate to Humberto Quintero, who promptly lined an RBI double into the right field corner. Entering the game, Hughes had allowed opposing hitters to bat an astounding .293/.341/.537 (or 191% better than the league average) when ahead in the count 0-2, so Quintero’s run scoring hit was only the latest in a season’s worth of frustration born of poor location.

The Royals added to their lead in the fourth inning when Jeff Francoeur drove a 2-0 fastball into the left field seats. The long ball has been a season-long tormenter of the Yankees’ starting rotation, but no one has been more vulnerable than Hughes, who has been victimized at least once in each of his starts.  In 47 1/3 innings, Hughes has now allowed 11 home runs, giving him the third highest rate per nine innings among all qualified major league starters.

The negatives aside, Hughes did manage to hold the Royals to only two runs over six innings, which was important because the offense wasn’t quite ready to bust out. The Yankees finally got on the board when Robinson Cano launched a long home run in the fourth inning, but the winning rally was much more subdued. In the bottom of the fifth, the Yankees loaded the bases on a seeing-eye grounder, hit by pitch, and bunt single, setting the stage for another golden scoring opportunity. With the memory of last night’s failure with bases loaded still fresh in everyone’s mind, Derek Jeter fell behind in the count, but finally produced a run with a single that was flared into right. Would this be the hit that would jump start the Yankees’ struggling offense and put an end to their futility with runners in scoring position? Unfortunately, the answer was no. After Curtis Granderson’s ground out produced another run, Alex Rodriguez and Raul Ibanez each went down swinging to end the rally.

Although the Yankees may not have exited the inning with good feelings, they did come away with the lead. Keeping it, however, wouldn’t be easy.  Over the final three innings, Joe Girardi used five different relievers to record the last nine outs (such is life without Mariano), but his master plan almost hit a snag in the bottom of the ninth inning. With two outs, Alex Gordon, who had doubled, was at third when Alcides Escobar hit a grounder that Rodriguez fielded deep behind the bag. Arod’s only play was to desperately put his entire body into the throw, which hurtled across the diamond as Escobar raced down the line. The ball finally nestled into Mark Teixeira’s outstretched glove just ahead of the base runner, giving the Yankees a victory by the narrowest of margins, and, perhaps, a one-day reprieve from having to answer questions about not getting the big hit.

(All comments taken from participants in the game thread.)

PRE-GAME 

Man, Teix down to seventh!

So they’re going to play through the rain.

I’m always happy to watch a Yanks game, but this is one of those nights they’d have to pay me to sit in their seats and drink their beer. I wouldn’t do it for less than $400 plus travel, and parking expenses. Everybody has their price. That’s mine.

TOP OF THE 1st: KC 2 – NYY 0 (homer by Moustakas)

Yankees are losing. This is familiar.

If Gritner is in LF, there is no score in this game. It’s not only that Raul is bad, but that Gritner is great. His glove is sorely missed.

I am trying not to let the Yankees get me down, but they suck at the moment. Come on, it is the Royals.

BOTTOM OF THE 3rd: KC 3 – NYY 0 (The first three Yankees reach base)

You know what’s perverse? I’m getting nervous about the prospect of bases loaded no outs because that seems a situation doomed to disappoint.

Bases loaded no one out. Do they score?

No worries, that was just our best hitter whiffing. No worries, that was just our second best hitter whiffing.

Jesus motherfucking christ on a goddamned motherfucking cracker.

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!

BOTTOM OF THE 4th: KC 3 – NYY 0 (Chavez gets to third with two outs)

And no two out hit. Now hitting 6 for 65 in that situation. Mendoza line looks like Mt. Everest.

Guess it didn’t rain hard enough.

I’m really not enjoying Yankees baseball much this year.

TOP OF THE 6th: KC 3 – NYY 0 (Teixeira passes on an easy out at first in favor of a difficult play at third, everyone is safe)

What the fuck is WRONG with this team?

WTF were you thinking Mark? This team is playing horseshit ball.

BOTTOM OF THE 6th: KC 3 – NYY 0 (Alex leads off with a double)

It looks as if the Yankees are aiming for one of those Everyone Who Participates Wins A Trophy awards at the end-of-season banquet.

TOP OF THE 7th: KC 5 – NYY 0 (2 out, 2 run homer for Franceour off Garcia)

.500 and dropping like a rock. I’m sure Joe’s remedy is going to be more rest.

I can’t watch anymore. Good night all.

Just wondering – if the Yanks finish last, do they have any shot at drafting Andrew Luck? RG3? Any Kentucky hoopster?

BOTTOM OF THE 7th: KC 5 – NYY 0 (Two on, two out for Cano)

Yay – two more chances to strand a runner in scoring position!

Hey, if they are sitting in the rain watching this slop I sure as shit aint’ turning my TV off.

TOP OF THE 8th: KC 6 – NYY 0 (Wild pitch scores 6th run)

Finally found a saving grace for this evening – my plasma big-screen went out and, thank Mickey, I was able to reboot it and solve the problem. The bad news is that it was still tuned to YES.

Hey, at least we’ve got each other. Cause if there is anything less sympathetic than a bunch of Yankee fans bitching about their sorry-ass, boring, horseshit follies team I’d like to know what it is.

Can’t just be a fair weather fan. Need to watch THIS in the rain. Now’s the time is to celebrate any win, not expect to always win.

BOTTOM OF THE 9th: KC 6 – NYY 0 (Teixeira leads off with a double, is stranded)

Are the Yankees trying? I think so. And if so, there’s a good chance they’ll start hitting and snap out of this weird vortex of suck with runners in scoring position. And if not, they don’t make it this year and our Octobers open up for other shit. That would be less fun than usual, but 2008 wasn’t so bad that they couldn’t win the whole damn thing the very next year.

And it’s supposed to rain all week.

AP Photo by Bill Kostroun 

Luís Tiant was one of my favorite players when I was eight or nine years old. And why wouldn’t he have been? His cork-screwing windup was absolutely beautiful, perfect for imitating in the backyard. By this point in my life baseball was really the only thing in the world that mattered, which explained my four favorite pastimes, listed in no particular order: playing baseball, watching baseball, reading about baseball, and collecting baseball cards.

One afternoon, apparently a rainy afternoon with no baseball available on TV or the bookshelf, I found myself wondering which of my heroes might share my birthday. Today I can find this answer in the click of a mouse, but in 1978 my only choice was to turn to my baseball cards and flip through them one by one, checking the birth dates listed on the back. I don’t remember if it took me five minutes or five hours, but I found my answer: Luís Tiant. I’ll never forget that thrill. Somehow, he and I were connected.

When the Yankees took on the Reds on Sunday afternoon, it was the first time I had really watched Johnny Cueto pitch. Pitchers today are all the same. The perfect wind up has already been discovered (I read somewhere that Roger Clemens’s motion is the ideal), so young American pitchers all grow up into that model. Gone are the days when a flamboyant hurler might try to kick a hole in the sky like Satchell Paige, stare at the heavens like Fernando Valenzuela, or swing his arms above his head like Bob Feller. But there was Cueto, flashing the #47 on his back as he completely turned his back on the hitter, then uncoiling back to unleash a blazing fastball punctuated by a stylish leg whip that pulled him off the mound towards first base. It was enough to make any pitching coach cringe, but it was beautiful to watch. Somewhere in Cuba, El Tiante was chewing on a cigar and smiling.

For most of the game, all the Yankee hitters seemed to be doing was chewing on cigars. Cueto brought a 1.89 ERA in the game, and he backed that up nicely over the first five innings, allowing just four hits while striking out five and picking up two double plays. Robinson Canó was the one Yankee who looked truly comfortable against Cueto all afternoon, and he started the sixth inning with a booming double to the wall in left center. Two batters later Raúl Ibañez turned on a pitch and hit a moonshot down the line in right field for his ninth home run of the season and a 2-0 Yankee lead.

Cueto had looked so good up until this point that it didn’t feel like the Yankees would get anything more off of him. The good news, though, was that CC Sabathia was on the hill for the Bombers, and he had been even better than Cueto. The Big Fella didn’t allow his first hit until there was one out in the fifth inning, and didn’t see a hint of trouble until the sixth. In that frame Drew Stubbs reached on a bunt single and Joey Votto walked to put runners on first and second with no one out. But CC stiffened, getting Brandon Phillips to bounce into a double play and battling Jay Bruce for seven pitches before striking him out to end the inning.

So when the Yankees got those two runs in the bottom of the sixth, it certainly looked like it would be enough. Sabathia would cruise the seventh, maybe even the eighth, and the bullpen would close it down. But it didn’t work that way.

Ryan Ludwick sampled Sabathia’s first offering of the seventh and found it to his liking. He popped it over the wall in left and the lead was sliced in half. One out later someone named Ryan Hanigan watched two straight strikes before jumping on the third and popping his own home run to left, tying the score at two.

Zack Cozart followed that with a dribbling infield single that Sabathia couldn’t quite get to in time, but when CC recovered to strike out the next batter, things looked less dangerous — but only for a minute. Sabathia threw eighteen pitches to the next three Reds to come to the plate (Stubbs, Votto, and Phillips) and walked them all, giving Cincinnati a 3-2 lead. He struck out Bruce to end the inning, but the damage was certainly done. Sabathia let out a yell as he left the mound and it seemed to be directed at the home plate umpire, but I don’t think the strike zone was the problem; it was CC.

The Yankees had only one shot to get back in the game, and it came in the eighth. Curtis Granderson singled to lead off the inning, and Alex Rodríguez came up with one out. The play-by-play says “A Rodríguez flied out to left,” but that doesn’t tell the story. A-Rod jumped on the first pitch he saw from Cueto and appeared to crush it to left center. He immediately went into his “how you like me now” routine, flipping away his bat and looking into the Yankee dugout, confident he had put the ball into the seats and his team into the lead.

But the ball didn’t even get to the warning track before settling harmlessly into Chris Helsey’s glove. A-Rod posted an OPS of 1.067 when he won the American League MVP in 2007. Since then his OPS has looked like this: .965, .934, .847, .823, .767. (If you feel like your glass is a bit too half-full, take out a piece of graph paper and plot that progression out to 2017.) Through forty games this year Rodríguez has four doubles, five home runs, and 15 RBIs. This particular fly ball probably would’ve been a home run had it not been knocked down by the wind, but it was hard not to wonder. Is this what we have to look forward to for the next five years from our cleanup hitter? Warning track power?

Cueto cruised through the eighth before giving way to the triple-digit heat of Aroldis Chapman in the ninth. The Reds had plated two more runs in their half of the ninth, so nothing the Yankees did in the bottom half scared them at all. Reds 5, Yankees 2.

The Yanks have dropped five of six and now sit at 21-20, much closer to last place than first in the upside down American League East. There will be lots of angst in the papers and on the airwaves, so there’s no need for me to add to that here.

Things will get better. Mark Teixeira will be back on Monday. Brett Gardner will be back soon after that. A-Rod has to get at least a little better. The wins will come soon enough, and everything will look an awful lot better. I promise.

[Photo Credits: Al Bello/Getty Images]

The Yanks trailed by three runs going into the ninth inning today. The Cuban flamethrower Aroldis Chapman struck out Granderson, Cano and got Alex Rodriguez to pop out in the eighth but the Yanks scored twice in the bottom of the ninth and Derek Jeter came to plate with the tying run on second and the go-ahead run on first. One out. He hit a ground ball to third base and hustled to first narrowly avoiding a game-ending double play. Jeter stole second and Granderson got ahead 3-0 but then with the count full he grounded out softly to Joey Votto.

Game over. Reds 6, Yanks 5.

I missed most of the game which was a drag because it looked like a good one. I caught the last two innings on the treadmill at the gym. I worked out next to a great guy who played minor league ball one season with Pat Jordan. 1960. He told me Jordan had nasty stuff and that he had major league talent.

Shame the Yanks couldn’t complete the comeback but it’s nice that they didn’t go down without a fight. Ivan Nova made a couple of mistakes but he also struck out 12.

This one was a bummer. And the Reds have their ace going tomorrow. Then again, so do the Yanks.

[Photo Credit: Elevated Encouragement and Mike Stobbe/Getty Images]

Ol’ Reliable. That was Andy Pettitte tonight. Man, it felt like old times. He worked quickly and had an aggressive Reds team off-balance. Heck, he struck out the great Joey Votto twice and when he later made a mistake to the slugger, Votto nailed the pitch but lined it to Curtis Granderson in center field.

‘Bout the only thing that spoiled the fun for a while was the Yankees’ inability to score themselves. Alex Rodriguez doubled and was stranded on base in the second. Granderson singled the start the fourth and moved to third on a base hit to right field by Robinson Cano. Jay Bruce bobbled the ball and Cano, who did not run hard out of the box, foolishly tried to reach second. Bruce, who has a strong arm, nailed him. Rodriguez brought Granderson home on a ground out to short.

The lead off runner was stranded in the fifth and the Yanks loaded the bases with nobody out for Rodriguez in the sixth. Bronson Arroyo–remember him, that high-leg kicking junk ball throwing so-and-so?–fell behind 2-0 and some of us wondered how the Bombers were going to screw this up while we pleaded for them to break it open. Rodriguez got a fastball and hit a hard ground ball to third. The throw came home and Jeter was called out–replays showed the catcher’s foot was off the base. Raul Ibanez grounded out and Nick Swisher popped out and where have we seen this before?

But Pettitte kept dealing. He was terrific and went eight innings, striking out nine. Rodriguez made a nice diving stop to end the eighth but the most impressive defensive play came from Chris Stewart in the sixth. With one out, Drew Stubbs–the Reds leading base stealer–was on first base. He measured Pettitte and got a good jump and ran to second base. Stewart bend down and backhanded a breaking ball that almost hit the ground and in one blinding motion, stood up and fired the ball to Cano who tagged Stubbs out. It was the quickest catch and throw I recall seeing in some time and reason enough to have Stewart on the roster. Really a remarkable play.

The score remained 1-0 when Pettitte left the field to much cheering in the eighth. Then Robinson Cano hit a long home run to the right center field bleachers. It was a whiffle ball home run, a get-you-off-your-ass-and-hollar dinger. Hell, I’m still jacked about it. Rodriguez hit the next pitch on the nose, good for a single and then Ibanez lined a homer to right.

It was more than enough. Boone Logan worked a scoreless ninth and the Yanks won, 4-0.

The offense wasn’t great but four runs is a start. The story of the night, though, was Pettitte. This here is one to relish.

[Photo Via: A Journey From Reality]

…don’t say anything at all?

That would make my job a little easier than normal tonight, because right now there is nothing nice to say about the Yankees.

Here’s the best I can do: Phil Hughes has been decent for four straight games. He’s struck out 22 against only five walks. But I can’t go past decent because of the taters. The only certainty about the Yanks this year is that Hughes will let up a long ball – at least one in each game so far, ten total in eight starts.

I think I know why we’re kinda nuts over Phil Hughes and his developmental path. Sometimes we see him uncork fastballs that overpower hitters for a couple of games in a row. We’ve already had very high expectations due to the hype he generated during his Minor League career and then we see him blow guys away sometimes.

That’s the path he should be on, but we also see him toss batting practice half the time. So the path he’s on now must be the one the Yankees created for him with their incompetence. That’s probably partially right, but I think Hughes has a lot to do with this himself.

The fastball plays sometimes, but I’ve only rarely seen that loopy curve ball fool anybody. David Robertson throws the Platonic Ideal of the Nardi Contreras “spiked-curve” and Phil Hughes throws the Play-Doh version. And the 86 MPH cutter seems like a mistake every time he throws it. It was the cutter that Jose Bautista jacked to give the Jays a 2-1 lead and it was all they needed as the Yanks didn’t score another run. Jays 4 – Yanks 1.

The Jays, behind a rookie named, let’s look up the spelling, Drew Hutchison, punched so many holes in the bottom of the order they’d fail to qualify as swiss cheese for lack of substance. The fourth through ninth batters went 1 for 21 with 2 walks in the game. Ouch.

In the game thread, Ara Just Fair mentioned that the Yanks are 3 for their last 40 with RISP. Double ouch.

It’s not that fun when the Yanks don’t win, and especially so when they don’t hit. When they are going like this, it seems like it would take a miracle to bust the score truck out of the impound lot. But it will happen sooner rather than later and we’ll be laughing about this one and all the others like it.

Won’t we?

Photo by Abelimages/AP

Yeah, man, the Blue Jays demolished Hiroki Kuroda and the Yanks tonight by the tune of 8-1. It’s always amazed me how fly balls lift off in Toronto. The Jays hit four home runs and Kyle Drabek stifled the all-or-nothing Yankee offense. Yo, anyone else ready to seriously dislike the Jays? I am. Just something about the looks of the guys on the team. I don’t like ’em at all.

This is a night we will not remember unless Robbie Cano’s 300th career double means anything to you (Cano did make a slick unassisted double play in ninth; he fielded a ground ball as he sprinted to second base, touched the bag and still running toward the Yankee dugout made the throw to get the runner at first. Poetry in motion.).

This one is already starting to vanish, tomorrow night can’t come soon enough and that’s the beauty of baseball–they do it every day. Sure, there is plenty of kvetch about (I get it, Phil Hughes starting isn’t inspiring you with confidence). I know, the Yanks have had a “m’eh” season so far. But soon enough there will be reason to cheer.

Count on it, True Believers.

[Images via: Comic Book Artwork, Trash is Free]

The Yankees lost to the Orioles 5-2 tonight in a game so dull and unremarkable that I’m worried I might lapse and accidentally recap the drama at Manchester City on Sunday instead. The Yankees had a chance to sweep a two-game set with the division leading Orioles and with CC Sabathia on the hill and in form of late, what could go wrong?

Wei-Yin Chen. I don’t know if he’s really any good, but he’s pitching pretty well and the Orioles have now won six of his seven starts. CC wasn’t good on a night when he had to be. Adam Jones really smacked one out of the park in the second, and CC let up three doubles, but he could have survived if not for all those other base runners. Seven Orioles reached on via walk, hit by pitch, or infield single and CC was toast after six.

Chen kept the Yanks off the board for those same six innings. Curtis Granderson got him, the other way no less, in the seventh for the only two runs the Yanks would score and the game never seemed like it would bend towards the Yankees.

Maybe with a little bit tighter defense and a few decent calls from the umps at key moments and if we could swap those three rally-killing double plays for hits… oh hell, forget it. We’d have to start over and play this one again to find a way to make a Yankee victory plausible. They were the second best team at the park and that’s because the rain scared away that Little League team that was planning to attend.

Moving over to basketball and soccer, let’s just say that if your Mother’s Day celebration did not include the Manchester City game versus Queens Park Rangers, you missed out on the best sporting event of the year. No doubt, lock up the prize, no one is topping that. It was the 2004 Red Sox, but if all that craziness of the Games 4 and 5 of the ALCS happened in Game 7 of the World Series instead.

In the NBA Playoffs, I’m rooting for Lebron I guess, though I’ll be plenty psyched if Roy Hibbert and the Pacers keep winning. I just want Lebron to win one and then to see what happens after that. Will he break through and become something different and better than he is right now? Will he slide back after grabbing the ring? I also would like him not be the terrible choke artist that many paint him to be.

Then I look at the play-by-play data from tonight and I see he disappeared at the end of the game only to pop up and miss the two biggest free throws of the night, ones that would have turned a one-point deficit into a one-point lead with 54 seconds to play. He didn’t get a shot off for the final three and half minutes, clearly deferring to Wade, who managed to pump off five and was fouled shooting a sixth in the same time span.

I wish I watched that game instead of the Yankees because I’d love to know what the hell was going on there. I don’t think we’re asking Lebron to win or lose by himself. We’re just asking him to play the final minutes the same way he plays the rest of the game. Did anybody watch?

And sometimes you miss the game. Which is what happened to me last night. I had dinner with my sister and my cousin downtown and didn’t check the score until we left the restaurant. Orioles 2-0.  Later, on the train ride home, I looked at Game Day on my phone again: Orioles 5-3. When I got home the score was tied and I got to see a few at bats before the wife took over the TV to watch Dancing with the Stars (Monday night honey, suck it). I saw Mark Teixeira homer to make it 7-5 Yanks on my computer and then listened to the final inning on the radio. In bed. A multimedia affair.

Shame I missed it because it sounded like an interesting game. And with a swell result:

Yanks 8, O’s 5.

Couple of  injuries–Ivan Nova and Raul Ibanez. Chad Jennings has the low down.

[Photo Credit: Dylan Kasson, Rob Carr/Getty Images]

The wife and I went to the Stadium this afternoon to watch Andy Pettitte pitch. On our way in we stopped by the site of the old park.

Ol’ Andy wasn’t awful though he gave up a couple of two-run homers and a few more hard hit balls. He got ahead of hitters for the most part and there were a handful of broken bat-sounding outs, as well. During his delivery, looked like he was lifting his left elbow higher in the air than I recall seeing before, too:

It’s hard to imagine Kevin Millwood pitching a better game all year. His fastball was clocked in the low ’90s, fast enough to keep the Yankee hitters off-balance as he spotted a slider and a change-up for strikes. The Bombers had the bases loaded twice but Derek Jeter hit into a double play (one of two on the day) to end one threat and Mark Teixeira whiffed to end the other.

“What a buzzkill,” said the wife.

We ate hot dogs and roasted in the sun and enjoyed the view from some fine seats we lucked into. It was a dud of a game for the Yanks–Clay Rapada allowed a few more runs to score in the top of the ninth and Nick Swisher got thrown at third trying to stretch a double into a triple to lead off the bottom of the ninth–the icing on the gravy.

Final Score: Mariners 6, Yanks 2.

We didn’t have much to cheer about. Still, one the train ride home, sticky, fatigued, and in need of a shower, the wife turned to me and said, “So who is playing on the Game of the Week tonight?”

And she meant it.

[Picture of Andy: Jim McIsaac/Getty Images, via It’s a Long Season]

And some games are comfortable to sleep through. This was one of them. It was a hot spring day in New York and the crowd at Yankee Stadium was sedate. Late afternoon game. Phil Hughes had his best performance of the season. He gave up one run–a beautiful line drive homer by Mike Carp–and pitched into the eighth inning. He was relieved by Boone Logan after giving up an infield single and bloop base hit to left field. Hughes allowed six hits, walked a batter, struck out four, and was never in any real trouble.

Hector Noesi pitched well, too. Had one tough inning, the second, where the Yanks scored four runs, two coming on a home run to right field by Jayson Nix. Raul Ibanez hit a long homer to center field in the fourth and that was all the scoring the Yanks would need though Robinson Cano added an RBI single in the eighth. Derek Jeter added a couple more hits and is now tied with the great Tony Gwynn on the all-hit hits list. The old goat even stole a base.

Yup, there was little tension in this one until the top of the ninth when Carp hit a ball off the top of the wall in right with a runner on first. The umps reviewed the play and awarded Carp second base instead of giving him a homer and one run scored. Logan struck out the next two hitters to end it.

A soft breeze cooled things down as afternoon turned to evening. It was an ideal game to nap through, occasionally opening one-eye to see what was what, the announcers’ voices humming in the background. Only thing that was missing was a hammock. But we’ll take the win.

Final Score: Yanks 6, Mariners 2.

[Photo Credit: Paintings by Gerald Schlosser and Quint Buchholz]

Jesus Montero returned to the Bronx tonight and greeted his former team with a solo home run. It was nice to see Montero, surely bittersweet for some of his biggest supporters, and cool to see him hurt the Yankees in a way that didn’t hurt too much.

Hiroki Kuroda got into trouble and worked out of trouble for seven innings. He was unspectacular but delivered a tough, veteran performance. Oh yeah, he out-pitched Felix Hernandez. The crushing blow was a three run homer from Raul Ibanez who has hit for power so far this season. Andruw Jones added a pinch-hit, two run homer as the Yanks beat the Mariners, 6-2.

P.S. Robbie Cano went 4-4 and is now batting .308; Alex Rodriguez had two hits and is hitting .297. The slow starters are starting to heat up.

[Photo Via:Elevated Encouragement, Zero, Frank Franklin II/AP]

The title of this post was inspired by Eduardo Nunez, who can play any position on the field, not that you’d want him to. It also applies to CC Sabathia, who, I learned from YES, had locked up with the resident lefty Hulk over in Tampa, David Price, five times previously and not yet delivered a win for the Yanks. Despite E-Nunez gifting two runs to the Rays by botching two routine plays in the first two innings, the Yankees were all over David Price from the word “go” and CC Sabathia clamped down like a too-tight Ace bandage over eight excellent innings for a 5-3 win and a series victory.

What does Eduardo Nunez do well? He’s 24 years old. He can steal a base. He can stand anywhere on the diamond you ask him to and, if the ball is hit in his general vicinity, he might block it with some part of his body and throw it somewhere within the stadium in which he is playing. For some reason, this skill set is the lynchpin of Joe Girardi’s roster management strategy.

Most of the outfield is hurt? Don’t call up a Minor Leaguer, Nunez can stand out there. We have an old and injury prone left side of the infield? Start Nunez as often as possible. The legendary closer broke his knee? Is Nunez already in the game? Damn. Call up a reserve outfielder, I guess. Is this really what the Yankees have become? A team so shitty that Eduardo Nunez and his null set is vital? I don’t believe it.

But I digress. I considered writing about Mariano Rivera again tonight. About how his sudden absence has changed my outlook on the Yanks. Less childish. Less emotional. Less passionate. Then Eduardo Nunez booted an easy inning-ending grounder in the first and I shouted at the TV, “Get him off the field, he’s terrible!”

“What does “terrible” mean?”

Oh, shit, the kids are still up and they heard that. Backtrack and apologize or give them the hard truth that Eduardo Nunez sucks at baseball, relatively speaking? Backtrack. I have to get these kids through Little League, after all.

Anyway, somehow bedtime got extended until the Yanks tied it up at 2-2, so they went to sleep with fresh memories of Curtis Granderson homers. Better than sugar plums if you ask me.

Price sure looked like he had all his stuff, but the Yanks weren’t fooled very often. Granderson homered and blasted another to the warning track. Alex had great swings and two hits. Cano saw him better than anyone, with three hits and the telling blow, a two-run jack. Last night, the Yankees scored one run off of Jeff Neimann and were lucky to get it. Tonight they scored five off David Price and seemed a good bounce away from getting ten. Go figure.

In the six innings without a Nunez error, Sabathia permitted four base runners and held the Rays scoreless. His final line was eight innings, two unearned runs, seven hits, one walk, and ten strikeouts. I think he was better than that line indicates, if that’s possible. CC Sabathia is quite possibly the one thing the Yanks got right this winter. And it’s a big one. Next time we’re bitching about Pineda, Montero and Ibanez, let’s be sure to throw CC on the scales.

Let’s also give Joe Girardi some credit for a smart move tonight. He took Nunez out for a defensive replacement. In the sixth inning.

Photo by Mike Stobe/AP

If the only baseball you’ve watched over the past fifteen years has involved the Yankees, it’s possible you’ve come to believe what some will tell you — the closer is the most overrated position in baseball. Those last three outs are really no different than the first three outs. Far too much glory and farther too much money are heaped upon those few soles lucky enough to have been weeded out of the starting pitching pool and thrust into the last spot in the bullpen. Any pitcher, after all, could get those last three outs. If the only baseball you’ve watched over the past fifteen years has involved the Yankees and Mariano Rivera, it’s possible you think those last three outs are easy.

They aren’t. At least not always.

On Wednesday night the Yankees scored a run in the top of the first inning when Derek Jeter notched his 50th hit of the season and scored all the way from first a few minutes later on Robinson Canó’s double to left field. That 1-0 lead stuck for a long time, thanks mainly to an impressive start by Yankee rookie David Phelps.

Phelps got off to a rough start, giving up a leadoff double to Ben Zobrist and backing that up with a walk to Carlos Peña. He’d eventually issue another walk to Luke Scott to load the bases with two outs. He recovered to get Will Rhymes to ground out to second to end the inning, and then settled into a groove, setting down nine of the next ten batters to cruise into the fifth.

Baseball is a funny thing. If everything we read back in 2007 had come true, Joba Chamberlain and Phil Hughes, the one-time jewels of the Yankee farm system, would have about 150 wins between the two of them by now. Sure, Phelps was the team’s Minor League Pitcher of the Year in 2010, but he hasn’t generated nearly the hype of countless other Yankee prospects. Still, it looks like he might stick around, even if his spot in the rotation is given to Andy Pettitte. His control is good, and his money pitch — a Maddux-like fastball that starts at a left-hander’s hip before darting back over the inside corner — seems perfectly designed to neutralize the scariest hitters he’ll face in Yankee Stadium.

With two outs in the fifth and still clinging to that 1-0 lead, Phelps looked to be in position to grab his first major league win. But with his pitch count climbing into the eighties, a walk to Peña, another to B.J. Upton, and Joe Girardi’s itchy trigger finger all conspired against him, and Phelps found himself walking off the mound an out too early.

Boone Logan quelled the rally by striking out Matt Joyce, then set down two more in the sixth before passing the baton to Cory Wade, who saw the game through the seventh. Things got a bit interesting in the eighth, thanks to a leadoff walk issued by Rafael Soriano and a throwing error by Canó, by Soriano wriggled free and passed the game to David Robertson in the ninth inning.

Robertson’s statistics coming into the inning were obscene. He hadn’t allowed a run since the end of last August, and he had struck out 23 hitters in just 13 innings in 2012. Sure, he had struggled a bit the night before, but this was the Hammer of Thor. Now that he had worked his way through his jitters, he’d surely get back to doing what the Hammer does — pounding the strike zone and blowing away any and all overmatched hitters who dared oppose him. These last three outs, after all, are no different than the three in the eighth.

All of this zipped through my head as Robertson came to a set and readied for his first pitch to Sean Rodríguez. Fifty-five seconds later the Rays had runners on second and third with no one out. Rodríguez singled to left on the first pitch of the inning, and Brandon Allen echoed that with a single of his own to right on Robertson’s second pitch. (Nick Swisher’s ill-advised attempt to nail Rodríguez at third was nowhere near the cutoff man, and Allen was able to take second.) Robertson was probably as stunned as anyone else, and he promptly walked Zobrist on four straight pitches to load the bases and bring the dangerous Carlos Peña to the plate.

Robertson’s teammates call him Houdini for his uncanny ability to squirm free of jams like this one; in his career fifty batters have faced him with the bases loaded and twenty-five of them have struck out. Peña became the twenty-sixth of fifty-one, and suddenly it seemed possible. On a 1-1 count to Upton, Robertson dropped a pitch that may or may not have (but probably didn’t) dance across the outside corner. It was the type of pitch that many umpires would honor, but Jim Reynolds had been squeezing pitchers on both sides all night, and he saw this as a ball. If Robertson had gotten that pitch, you can bet he would have pumped a 1-2 fastball up in Upton’s eyes, and you can bet that Upton would’ve swung right through it for strike three. But at 2-1, justifiably fearful of extending to 3-1 with the bases loaded, Robertson was forced deeper into the meat of the strike zone with his fourth pitch. Upton didn’t get all of it, but he got enough to float a fly ball to medium right. Swisher made one of the best throws I’ve ever seen him make, but Rodríguez slid in just ahead of Russell Martin’s tag. The game was tied, and the save was blown.

A few minutes later Matt Joyce hit a three-run home run to right (spraining his ankle on the swing and falling down at home plate), and the game was over. Rays 4, Yankees 1.

Should we worry about Mr. Robertson? Hardly.

[Photo Credit: Kathy Willens/AP Photo]

With a 4-2 lead after seven innings, the Yankees showed off their new “Plan A” bullpen tonight. Rafael Soriano took over eighth-inning responsibilities as David Robertson packed his hammer for the ninth. It was the first close game since Mariano got hurt and I felt another wave of shock and depression as Mariano’s theoretical absence hardened into an actual game situation. It’s not that I’ve never seen the Yankees win a close one without Mariano, it’s just that those games were obviously temporary. A fleeting glimpse at an alternate universe, its otherness reaffirming our reality where Mariano was firmly and safely entrenched. This, as we all know too well, was different.

Ben Zobrist rocketed a triple to left-center gap to greet Soriano. He bounced back to strikeout Carlos Pena and B.J. Upton and was one strike away from stranding Zobrist when he threw a 55-foot slider that glanced off Russell Martin’s chest protector and bounced far enough away for Zobrist to score. Soriano then walked Matt Joyce on a close pitch, another slider, and went 3-0 on Luke Scott. Scott was ripping dead-red on the  3-0 pitch and Martin and Soriano wisely stayed with the slider. Soriano worked the count full and punched Scott out on a nasty, diving slider – the one he meant to throw Joyce.

The lead down to one, the Yankees rallied to give David Roberston a little slack. Alex Rodriguez hit a screaming bastard of a line drive that nearly impaled B.J. Upton in center. They gave Upton an error for letting Alex get to second, but better an error than a hole in the chest. Teixeira finally out-hit the shift and snuggled a double into the right field corner, scoring Alex.

David Robertson faced the bottom of the order in the ninth and did not burst into flames when he took the mound. It took a couple of batters. He got the first out but walked Rhymes. He let up a single to Sean Rodriguez and Tampa sent up Brandon Allen to homer or whiff. He whiffed. The real problem was that the Rays had turned the lineup over and their most dangerous hitter, Ben Zobrist, came to bat as the go-ahead run. Robertson worked him carefully but could not get the umpire to give him even an inch on the outside corner. He walked him on five pitches to load the bases.

Holy shit. Couldn’t we get a nice easy save our first time out there without Mo? It has to come down to the one player on the Rays who can hit it 500 feet at any time? Carlos Pena had had a rough night with three strikeouts coming into the at bat, but I’d like to meet the Yankee fan that was glad to se him up there. Robertson started Pena with two perfect pitches – a curve and a fastball both on the outside corner – for two called strikes. Robertson tried to get Pena to chase a low curve and a high heater, but the count ran even at 2-2. Don’t let it get to 3-2, I thought, with all those runners in motion, any hit might lose the game. Robertson took aim at the outside corner one last time and drilled it with his best fastball of the night. Pena never took his big bat off his big shoulder and the Yanks won 5-3.

Phew. That only counts as one win? Are we sure?

The Yankees scored their first four runs on homers – two by Raul Ibanez, who is a more animated corpse than I thought he would be, and one by Curtis Granderson. Good thing the Yanks hit the ball over the fence, because they can’t buy a hit between the lines. The Rays are employing the shift with such audacity, I think it’s as much gamesmanship as it actual defensive strategy. It’s starting to remind me of how the 1986 Mets were completely spooked by Mike Scott’s scuffed balls. If they’re not careful, they’re going to end up mindfucked against their most dangerous division rival.

For the second game in a row, Joe Girardi pushed Ivan Nova through a trouble spot in the seventh inning. Last week, Nova kept the Yankees close for six innings but it wasn’t close after he pitched the seventh. The rest of the thirteen man staff watched the game get out of hand. This time, through an annoyingly consistent rainfall, the Yankees gave Nova a three-run bulge to work with. He was strong through five, but allowed solo shots in the six and the seventh. Perhaps rattled by the homers, he gave up his only two walks of the night immediately following the dongs. And he looked vulnerable for the first time all night in the seventh.

In the sixth, Mark Teixeira and Derek Jeter turned a nifty 3-6-3 double play to erase the walk and end the inning. In the seventh, it didn’t look like Nova would be so lucky. After the walk to Jeff Keppinger, Will Rhymes doubled down the first base line. It rattled around the corner, but Keppinger held at third. Sean Rodriguez flew out to shallow right. Swisher caught the ball with his body moving towards home plate and uncorked a very good throw just to the first-base side of home plate. Russell Martin received the ball and spun to place the tag in front of the plate. Keppinger stayed at third. Martin stood in front of the plate with the ball like a kid on a doorstep with flowers in his hand waiting for his date to come down the stairs.

Keppinger would have no trouble winning a Republican primary with such unimpeachable conservative principles.

Mad props to Ivan Nova, who struck out eight Rays with his excellent mix of pitches. I thought the change-up, slipping down, just out of the zone, was particularly promising tonight. He looked so good through most of his outing, it’s hard to reconcile the homers. He let Jose Molina take him deep, which, on a better team might be a punishable offense in Kangaroo court. Nova was up 0-2 in the count and threw a pitch like he was down 2-0. Watching Molina jiggle around the bases I wondered if this game is really as hard as we make it out to be sometimes.

Despite the Molina incident and coming damn close to blowing the lead in the seventh, Nova held on and rewarded his manager’s faith in him. But even though Nova and Ibanez were the stars of the game, the story was new look bullpen. And in life after Mo, we’re going to have to settle for success, even if it’s not quite as beautiful.

And so the Yankees made us happy today when Robbie Cano, Nick Swisher–and later in the game, Alex Rodriguez–went Boom! Cano hit a grand slam in the third inning. Mark Teixeira followed and flew out to the warning track in right and then Swisher hit a bomb over the right field wall. Took a minute to admire it, too.

Rodriguez dumped a three-run home run into the fountain out in left field in the eighth.

Meanwhile, Phil Hughes pitched well (walked one, struck out seven)–yo, into the seventh inning, he pitched.

Final Score: Yanks 10, Royals 4.

And the Knicks won a close one at the Garden.

Yippee.

[Photo Credit: Ed Zurga/Getty Images; Frank Franklin III/AP]

Nah, I’m not going to get into it, man–how mediocre Hiroki Kuroda was or that dumb base-running move by Curtis Granderson. The Royals had a couple of guys throwing cheddar tonight. Russell Martin had three hits including a long home run to left, okay? That’s the only good thing I have to report. You can read the play-by-play here if you’re a glutton for punishment.  Otherwise, know this: it was a miserable night for the Yanks. They lost two-of-three to the Orioles earlier this week and now two-of-the-first three against the Royals. Puts them just one game over .500.

Right now, the Yanks are playing a hair above full suck.

Final Score: Royals 5, Yanks 1.

[Photo Credit:Ed Zurga/Getty Images]

When Mark Teixeira hit a long home run to left field in the first inning I figured the Yanks would make it a short night for Bruce Chen. It was a two-run shot and the longest homer I recall seeing Teixeira hitting from the right side since he’s been in New York.

But, Nooooooooo.

Chen settled in, the Royals scored a couple of runs against C.C. in the bottom of the first, and it remained 2-2 until two outs in the top of the seventh when Eduardo Nunez–yes, that Eduardo Nunez–broke the tie with an RBI triple. Chris Stewart–yup, that Chris Stewart–added an RBI and then Derek Jeter–indeed, that Derek Jeter (he of the .404 batting average)–ripped a two-run homer to end Chen’s night the way it was intended.

Final Score: Yanks 6, Royals 2.

[Photo Credit: Minda Haas]