"A New York Treasure" --Village Voice

A Fine How Do You Do

I’m on the 1 train this morning when I see an old lady, bundled up for the cold, address a man who is leaning against the subway door, reading the New York Times.

“You’d better grab something to hold onto,” she said. “Otherwise, the doors might open, you’ll fall out and die and then we’ll all be late.”

The man folded his paper and looked down at the woman.

“Wow. That’s some scenario,” he said and returned to the paper.

“Yes,” she said, “Yes, it is.”

I smiled. She looked around and caught my eye and smiled. I was about to say something when I remembered an old family saying: “It’s not you, mind your own, sit down, shut-up.”

I stayed shut-up and let it pass.


1 Sliced Bread   ~  Oct 18, 2010 8:50 am

can you get Old Lady Doomsday to write a Banter preview of the Burnett game? That'd be a helluva read.

2 Mr. OK Jazz TOKYO   ~  Oct 18, 2010 8:50 am

[0] I love your Subway Stories, please keep bringing them! Nothing so interesting on the packed trains here, though recently I got the new Cheikh Lo (from Senegal) album "Jamm" and was grooving with my headphones in on the usual crowded morning train here, singing along phonetically to whichever language he was singing in..maybe Wolof? He speaks and sings in 6 languages..

I guess I got a little carried away cause I opened my eyes and found a perfect circle of space surrounding me as the local passengers slowly moved away from the off-key warblings I was emitting..so that's the formula to beat the sardine can rush hour here, One foreigner + off-key "singing" of random West African languages you cannot speak = personal space on the world's most crowded trains! http://tinyurl.com/2avsjyu

3 williamnyy23   ~  Oct 18, 2010 9:01 am

[2] Subway Stories sounds like another great anthology book.

4 williamnyy23   ~  Oct 18, 2010 9:04 am

Along the same lines, I wonder how many times I've grumbled about the inconvenience caused by a sick passenger on the subway or a traffic-causing car wreck. Once you get to your stop or pass the scene of the accident, your life continues on, but I wonder how many times the same can't be said for the person who caused the delay.

5 jimcobain   ~  Oct 18, 2010 9:18 am

Funny. I see this as a metaphor for Yankee Paranoia. "we have to win game 2, because if we don't we'll lose to Cliff Lee and the AJ will suck and we'll be down 3-1!!!"

Sure. The door "might" open and he "might" fall to his death. But then again, he might not.

6 YankeeAbby   ~  Oct 18, 2010 1:37 pm

My F train commutes have been pretty interesting the last week - 3 Bible thumpers, 1 bongo drum trio, 1 off-key singing woman, and one not-so-off-key-ring-clanging-on-the-handrail-singing-dude.

Always entertaining!

7 landresly   ~  Oct 19, 2010 4:27 am

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"This ain't football. We do this every day."
--Earl Weaver