"A New York Treasure" --Village Voice

Thuuuh Pitch

Dan Barry takes the mickey out of John Sterling in the New York Times:

J.S. Thuuuh pitch. And Gardner hits a fly ball deep to right-center field, Victorino back, back — home run! A Yardy! For Gardy!

S.W. Brett certainly got all of tha —

J.S. A Yardy! For Gardy! And the Yankees take a 1-0 lead.

Now Robbie Cano, the second baseman, settles into the batter’s box. A .294 batting average, with 20 home runs and 59 runs batted in. Robbie’s been struggling a little at the plate, but Suzyn, I ask you: how do you predict baseball?

S.W. You can’t really, it’s —

J.S. Exactly. You can throw the numbers out the window.

S.W. What?

J.S. Thuuuh pitch. High and outside, a hanging curve that never broke. That hanging curve brought to you by the State of Texas. We don’t hang ’em anymore, but we do the next best thing. Texas.

S.W. Actually, Jawn, I think that was a changeup that —

J.S. And Cano rockets one to right field. It is high, it is far, it is — gone! Home run! Robbie Cano, doncha know! It’s a back to back! And a belly to belly!

S.W. You know, Jawn, I’ve always wondered what that phrase means.

[Illustration by Chris Morris]


1 RagingTartabull   ~  Jul 11, 2013 8:40 am

I will admit I was all ready to hate on this thing because I thought DAVE Barry wrote it...and Dave Barry sucks.

But this is funny though.

2 Alex Belth   ~  Jul 11, 2013 8:45 am

It is. Made me LOL. "Literally LOL."

3 cult of basebaal   ~  Jul 11, 2013 9:03 am

Never mind this nonsense ... THE CAPTAIN'S BACK!

The NYC Gift Basket economy sighs in grateful relief!

4 BobbyB   ~  Jul 11, 2013 9:20 am

A classic! Good way to get your humor in early.

5 Shaun P.   ~  Jul 11, 2013 9:30 am

It's funny because it's true.

6 Sliced Bread   ~  Jul 11, 2013 10:53 am

They should sell that cartoon on a tshirt. I'd buy one.

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"This ain't football. We do this every day."
--Earl Weaver