Bang, Zoom. Cheap laffs on a Monday morning. (Thanks to Diane for hipping me to this site.)

ESPN analyst Orel Hershiser summed things up nicely towards the end of Sunday night’s death march: “The players who should be on the bench are in the starting lineup, and the players who should be in the lineup are on the disabled list.” It’s nothing new, but if Mariano Duncan were still around, he’d probably print up t-shirts with that explanation emblazoned across the chest. Admitting the problem is the first step.

At first glance it seemed as if the Yankees might have had the edge in Sunday night’s matchup in Baltimore, with Hiroki Kuroda going up against Chris Tillman, but Tillman’s been pretty good this year. In fact, the Orioles had won Tillman’s last seven starts, and Tillman had gotten the win in all but one of those games. Any American League pitcher with a 9-2 record and an ERA under four must be doing something right, and Tillman’s doing something right.

Regardless of how good Tillman might be, the Orioles have been carried by their hitting, and it didn’t take long for the Baltimore bats to make themselves heard. With one out in the first inning, third baseman Manny Machado hit a clothesline into the left field bleachers to give the Orioles a 1-0 lead and send a dagger into the heart of Yankee Universe. Even with all the talk we hear about Mike Trout and Bryce Harper, Machado just might be the best of the three, and as he circled the bases I couldn’t help but wonder where the next Yankee hero might come from. The prospects we’ve waited patiently for over the past few years (Jesus Montero, Austin Jackson, Austin Romine, Eduardo Nuñez, Slade Heathcott, Brandon Laird, etc.) have either been traded away, failed to make the majors, or simply evolved into interchangeable parts. In Machado, the Orioles have the face of their franchise for the next fifteen years. Wouldn’t that be nice?

The Yankee hitters weren’t thinking about any of that, though, as they managed to scrape together enough offense to tie the game in the top of the second. With runners on first and third and two outs, David Adams walked to load the bases, and Brett Gardner followed that with another walk to force in a run. It wasn’t exciting, but it was a run!

Just a few minutes later the Orioles struck back with yet another home run from Chris Davis, his 31st of the season and third of the series, and Nate McLouth homered in the next inning to give Baltimore a 3-1 lead.

The Yankees, meanwhile, were hitting as if their bats were made of apple sauce instead of ash. Only nine hitters came to bat in the third, fourth, and fifth innings (Hafner singled in the third but was thrown out at second trying to stretch), and except for a ten-pitch at bat by Brett Gardner in the fifth, Tillman never once had to work hard.

Canó led off the sixth with a solo home run to right center, giving the Yankees just a glimmer of hope, but that hope never amounted to much more than a glimmer, even when they put two runners on in the seventh and again in the ninth. Somehow those two rallies never felt like rallies.

After the 4-2 loss, the Yankees now find themselves in fourth place in the five-team American League East, and it won’t be long before they’re in the cellar. These are dark days, my friend. Dark days.

[Photo Credit: Patrick Smith/Getty Images]

Our man Hiroki tries to help the Yanks avoid getting swept in Baltimore.

Never mind any hard feelings:

Brett Gardner CF
Ichiro Suzuki RF
Robinson Cano 2B
Travis Hafner DH
Zoilo Almonte LF
Lyle Overbay 1B
Jayson Nix SS
Chris Stewart C
David Adams 3B

Let’s Go Yank-ees!

[Photo Credit: Corriette Schoenaerts]

“I Got A Love”–Pete Rock and C.L. Smooth

[Photo Via: The Minimalisto]

The Yankees got a couple of two-out singles in the first inning last night and then Ichiro! hit a Baltimore Chop off of home plate and high into the air which he of course beat out for a single. That was the highlight of the night for the Bombers. Well, Zoilo Almonte worked the count in his favor next and then put a good swing on a 3-1 pitch but Nick Markakis caught it in deep right field and that was that.

If you went to grab a bite or left the TV for a few minutes when you returned the O’s had put a beatin’ on David Phelps from which these gluten-free Yankees are ill-prepared to respond. It was 9-0, an old-fashioned ass-kicking, and certainly easier to stomach than Friday night’s loss. Chris Davis hit two bombs as the O’s cruised to an 11-3 lead.

The Lost Weekend, indeed.

David Phelps tries to help the Yanks get over last night’s tough loss.

Brett Gardner CF
Jayson Nix SS
Robinson Cano 2B
Vernon Wells DH
Ichiro Suzuki RF
Zoilo Almonte LF
David Adams 3B
Lyle Overbay 1B
Austin Romine C

Never mind the hangover:

Let’s Go Yank-ees!

[Photo Via: Magnificent Ruin]

Coolin’:

[Photo Credit: Ashale]

It was a swift kick in the nuts kind of loss not because of a game-ending hit but because of a mid-innings comeback that vibrated, like the sensation of getting punched in the ball does, and lingered.

C.C. Sabathia had a no-hitter through five and a modest 3-0 lead. Considering all the hits the Yanks had in the early innings it should have been more but that’s how it goes when you’re on a non-gluten diet. In in the 6th, Nate McLouth led off with a hard single and then advanced to second on a bunt that rolled along the first base side of the field. David Adams, playing first, charged, leaving the bag open with no time for Robinson Cano, to cover. A mental mistake by Adams, for sure. The result, first and second and nobody out. Sabathia got Nick Markakis to pop out but then Manny Machado, that doubles-hitting machine–doubled to right center driving home both runners.

J. J. Hardy followed and popped out to centerfield and Machado took third, apparently catching Brett Gardner by surprise. The gamble paid off when Adam Jones had a cheap infield hit that scored the tying run.

Okay, 3-3 in the 7th. All was not lost. And Sabathia retired the first two hitters in bottom of the 7th before he left a flat breaking ball–slider or a curve–over the plate that McLouth sent over the right field wall. After he got the final out Sabathia returned to the dugout and rifled his mitt into the bench. He yelled and it was the most demonstrative show of emotion I remember seeing from him.

“You’ve got to finish the game, put a complete game together,” Sabathia said after the game. “I’m not saying go out and throw nine innings, but just put a good start, a complete start together. I feel like I haven’t done that all year.”

That one run lead was all the O’s would need as Tommy Hunter mowed the Yankees down in the final two innings and the O’s earned a 4-3 win.

Bollocks.

[Photo Credit: Doug Kapustin/Reuters]

It’s the Big Fella as the Yanks play a weekend series in Baltimore against the Orioles.

Brett Gardner CF
Jayson Nix SS
Robinson Cano 2B
Vernon Wells DH
Ichiro Suzuki RF
Zoilo Almonte LF
Chris Stewart C
David Adams 1B
Alberto Gonzalez 3B

Never mind the gluten-free offense:

Let’s Go Yank-ees!

[Photo Credit: Kevin B. Moore]

From A Continuous Lean: New Balance Kicks.

Cinephilia and Beyond gives us this dope post on Chinatown.

Phil Hughes allows a couple of runs in 8 innings of work, a nice day for any pitcher, but particularly for someone as inconsistent as Hughes. Course Derek Holland goes out and masters the Yankee hitters and shuts their asses out on 92 pitches, giving up only 2 hits.

Go fuggin’ figure.

Final Score: Rangers 2, yanks 0.

[Photo Via: Lomography]

Another hot n humid one out there. It’s Hughes and you have to imagine a bunch of homers.

1. Suzuki CF

2. Nix SS

3. Cano DH

4. Wells RF

5. Almonte LF

6. Overbay 1B

7. Adams 2B

8. Gonzalez 3B

9. Romine C

Never mind the sideshow:

Let’s Go Yank-ees!

[Photo Credit: Matt Slocum/AP]

Dig this nice gallery of Yankee fans over at Backspaces.

Over at Newsweek, Andrew Romano interviews Rick Rubin:

Your taste—your ear—has been spot-on again and again, across genres. What’s the secret?

I never decide if an idea is good or bad until I try it. So much of what gets in the way of things being good is thinking that we know. And the more that we can remove any baggage we’re carrying with us, and just be in the moment, use our ears, and pay attention to what’s happening, and just listen to the inner voice that directs us, the better. But it’s not the voice in your head. It’s a different voice. It’s not intellect. It’s not a brain function. It’s a body function, like running from a tiger.

Instinct.

Yes. But being open to using your instincts instead of going, “Oh, that’s not going to work.” Or listening to the part of your brain that goes, “Oh, that’s out of tune.” Or the part of your brain that says, “That’s too loud.” You have to shut off all of those voices and look for these special moments—these moments that you accept you have no control over. So much of my job is to not think—to be open to what’s there, and then use my intuition to see where it takes me.

I missed the damn game and only saw that Joba got rocked and the Yanks lost, 8-5. But what’s a game when you’ve got Alex Rodriguez vs. the Yanks to keep you engaged (never mind the news that Mark Teixeira is lost for the season).

Here’s the latest in this silly big bucks soap opera of he-said, he-said from tabloid vets Bill Madden and Wallace Matthews.

Andy…

I’m not around for the line-ups. Let’s go for two straight, huh?

Never mind the sideshow:

Let’s Go Yank-ees!

[Photo Credit: Ry Pepper Via Think Different]

Via the essential Cinephilia and Beyond, here’s a good, long interview with Brian De Palma:

Louis:

Over at audible, you can download the essay, “In Memory of a Friend, Teacher and Mentor” by Phillip Roth for free. Here’s more on the story at the Paris Review.

[Photo Credit: Dan Burn-Forti]