C.C. Sabathia has toughed-out a lot of starts in the first half of this season. He’s been admirable, but it’s been a disappointing time of it for the Yankees Ace and he was horseshit today. His record is 9-8, ERA is over 4.00. A tough time.

The final score was 10-4 as the Yanks go into the All-Star break on a down note.

[Image Via: It’s a Long Season]

Phil Hughes pitched a nice game but he’s Phil Hughes so it wasn’t enough, not with a team that has a tendency not to score runs. Two solo home runs and the Yanks were down 2-1 and then in the 8th inning Hughes gave up a 2-run homer. It was just too much as the Twins finally beat the Yanks. This one went 4-1.

[Photo Credit: Balakov]

The rain never really did cease last night. Game started, it was raining, they called it during the fourth inning, and over an hour later when the tarp was removed it continued to rain. Hiroki Kuroda waited out the delay and then pitched one inning. And his team rewarded him by scoring a couple of runs in the bottom of the 5th to put him in line for the victory.

Turns out they were the only runs either team would score. Five Yankee pitchers combined for the shutout with Boone Logan getting extra credit for striking out the side in the 7th when two men were on base. Our man Mo put the Twins to bed in the 9th. Sweet dreams.

Final Score: Yanks 2, Twins 0.

[Photo Credit: Howard Simmons, New York Daily News]

When Derek Jeter came to bat for the first time this season the Yanks were behind 3-0. He reached first by beating out an infield hit. Not exactly a Willis Reed moment, this being July and all. But what the hell? Hyperbole comes easy round these parts, especially when talking about Derek Jeter. He didn’t get another hit but drove in a run and was robbed of a single, too.

The Yanks caught up and then went ahead of the Royals, pounding out 8 runs. Kansas City didn’t score after the 2nd inning and the Yanks earned a series split.

Final Score: Yanks 8, Royals 4.

Smile…except it wasn’t all pretty. Jeter left the game early and will have an MRI on his quad.

Oy.

[Photo Credit: Rachel Bellinsky via MPD]

You remember what your algebra teacher told you about coin flips, don’t you? The coin has no memory. The probability of each result is always the same, regardless of what has come before. If a certain coin comes up heads, say, six times in a row, the odds on the seventh flip do not change. Only a fool would bet on heads thinking the coin was hot, and you’d be equally foolish if you bet on tails because it was due. A coin, after all, is just a coin.

More and more, these Yankees are starting to look like that coin. Remember when they won six straight and looked to be turing the corner as Mariano Rivera jogged in from the bullpen in the ninth inning of what would’ve been their seventh-straight win? And what about when they forgot how to win and lost three straight, the last two to the lowly Kansas City Royals? Recently it just seems like the Yankees are a .500 team, and the record bears that out. Since emerging from that soul-crushing four-game sweep at the hands of the Mets, the Yanks have come up heads just as often as tails — 19-19. At this point, perhaps they are who they are.

As depressing as that idea is, Wednesday’s game with the Royals was just the opposite. The other side of the coin, if you will. The Yankees scratched out a run in the first without benefit of an RBI as Brett Gardner made a daring dash home on a wild pitch that bounced only two or three yards away from Kansas City catcher George Kottaras. (Ichiro also tried to score on the same play when Kottaras’s throw skipped into the infield, but he was thrown out.) At the time the whole thing reeked of desperation. Gardner had no faith that anyone would drive him in, so he took a chance. Ichiro was thinking the same thing, so he took a bigger one. Heads you score, tails you’re out. 1-0 Yanks after one.

Iván Nova was on the mound for the Yankees, and after yielding two harmless singles in the top of the first, he mowed through the next twelve Royals hitters without allowing a base runner, allowing the Yankee offense to put a few things together. The first big moment arrived in the bottom of the third when Robinson Canó came to the plate with two outs and runners on first and second. Canó’s season has been up and down, but considering that he’s really the only frightening hitter in the lineup, it’s quite amazing what he’s been able to do — or what opposing pitchers have allowed him to do. Why he ever gets anything to hit, I’ll never know.

He got something to hit when Kansas City’s Wade Davis left a pitch out over the plate. Canó stayed with the pitch and drove it out towards the deepest part of the ballpark for a 419-foot home run to left center. It was the first home run by a Yankee starter in eight days, and the Yankees were up 4-0.

(That was probably the most important Canó moment of the night, since it essentially sealed the win, but there was a moment an inning earlier that will stick with me longer. With one out in the top of the second David Lough popped up a ball in the infield. Eduardo Núñez immediately began calling for it, as it looked to be heading towards the shortstop side of second base. But as the ball drifted across the bag into Canó’s territory, Núñez kept tracking it. As Canó realized Núñez wasn’t going to be called off the play, he brought his glove down and crossed his arms in mock indignation. After the out was made, he made a show of pointing out where the play had been made and playfully chided the youngster for overstepping his boundaries. It was the type of thing that of all sports happens only in baseball, and it was the type of thing that we used to see routinely from Derek Jeter — the stone-faced response to every single Hideki Matsui home run or the barely-controlled laughter each time Alex Rodríguez struggled with a pop-up. I can’t imagine Canó would’ve put on such a show had Jeter been the shortstop to wander into his domain, and perhaps Jeter’s absence thus far has allowed Canó to test his leadership skills a bit. Then again, it might simply have been two friends having a little fun. Either way, I enjoyed it.)

But back to our game. Those four runs exceeded the total production of the previous three games, but the bats weren’t done. They doubled that output in the sixth inning, and it only took four batters: Canó single, Vernon Wells pinch single, Zoilo Almonte walk, and a grand slam for Lyle Overbay.

But better than all that was Nova. He wasn’t just getting the Royals out, he was dominating them. He gave up a run in the eighth after walking Alcides Escobar with two outs and then giving up a double to Eric Hosmer, but that was it. Aside from those two mistakes, the last nine batters he faced went down like this: seven groundouts, a strikeout, and a fly out. He was great all night long.

Two years ago I wrote a piece in this space making several predictions about the future of the Yankees, and one of those was the development of Nova into the ace of this staff. I was recapping a game between the Yankees and the Reds that day, and after watching last night’s game with the Royals, I was immediately reminded of that night back in Cincinnati. Please note the similarities in Nova’s stat lines:

6/20/2011: 8.0 IP, 4 H, 1 ER, 0 BB, 7 K
7/10/2013: 8.0 IP, 5 H, 1 ER, 2 BB, 6 K

Last night’s performance, of course, comes on the heels of what he did his last time out, that complete-game gem against the Orioles. Even more important than that, it stopped a Yankee losing streak and gave them a much-needed 8-1 win. We can only hope that the coin won’t remember any of this tomorrow afternoon, and that the Yanks will come up with another win.

[Photo Credit: Kathy Willens/AP Photo]

I went to the game last night with a longtime Banter reader. I’d never met him before but he was in town, had tickets, and was kind enough to invite me. We were joined by a childhood friend of his who was also in town.

We sat in the sky down the left field line. It was the kind of muggy that you just have to give yourself over to, which in some ways is what it’s like following this year’s Yankees. (Resistance is futile.) By the second inning, my pants were clinging to my legs and I was already dreaming of the shower I’d take when I got home.

The Yankees loaded the bases against James Shields in the first inning but only scored one run, the only one they’d score all night. They managed just two more hits so it was another one of those nights, an admirable loss for C.C. Sabathia who went the distance, gave up two solo homers and another run late as the Royals won it, 3-1.

My favorite part of the night came as an unspoken moment of recognition between fans. So we’re watching the game and talking and our we’re involved in our conversation when Luis Cruz, playing third base, took a step to his left and dove for a ground ball. He snagged it and our conversation was interrupted by all three of us spontaneously shouting, “Ooooooh!” We exchanged high-fives, our only such celebration of the night, and then went back to talking.

Those shared instincts were enough to make me feel close to two guys I’d just met.

The loss seemed inevitable but a surprising number of fans stayed at the game til the end. It was a weeknight, broiling hot, but I got the sense that people wanted to linger, they didn’t want to leave the ballpark yet.

When it was over we parted ways and I was pleased to have made two new pals. Outside, on the street, people cluttered together and you could here shouts of “Water, one dollar, one dollar, one dollar, water.”

I took a few pictures.

Across the street from the new Stadium is a ball field where the old stadium used to stand. There was a fast pitch softball game going on and fans stopped to watch.

It’s not so much that we’re watching a non-gluten Yankee offense, that would imply trying to be healthy for the sake of winning. Maybe something like what George had in mind with his misbegotten Bronx Burners project in 1982 (never mind power, we want speed). This Yankee team is more like offensive crudite: Zoilo, Ishikawa, Romine, Luis Cruz, Alberto Gonzalez. There’s just not much there. So you can’t blame them entirely when they’ve got situations set up nicely but don’t follow through. Last night the most dramatic scene came in the 9th with the Yanks down 5-1. They loaded the bases with nobody out and then the next three hitters struck out and the game was over.

That’s just the pill we’ve got to swallow right now.

Final Score: Royals 5, Yanks 1.

[Photo Via: Cookthink]

What was it that Ms. Clavel used to say in the middle of the night? Something is not right. Well, that’s the feeling I had watching the game today–not that something wasn’t right, exactly, but that things were fragile, a 1-0 lead perishable. It was another hot summer day in the Bronx and the game proceeded uneventfully, except the two starting pitchers who were in good form. Oh, sure Robbie Cano made a wonderful fielding play but he’s so fluid he makes the remarkable look pedestrian.

The only exciting thing came in the middle innings when Manny Machado made one of those kinds of plays that makes you sit up and remember you aren’t sleeping.

A ground ball was hit to his right. He bent down to field it and the ball knocked off the heal of his glove. Still moving to his right, now in foul territory, he was able to pick up the ball on a bounce. He took another few steps before he could get rid of it, a side armed chuck that somehow zipped over to first base to get the runner–a disbelieving Luis Cruz–by a step. Not many men could make that play. Lucky for baseball fans–particularly those in Baltimore–Machado is here to stay.

The only other excitement came in the 9th and it was unfortunate for the Yanks. With 1 man out Nick Markakis almost hit a home run against Mariano Rivera. It went just foul down the right field line. He singled, anyhow, and then Mo left a flat cutter over the middle of the plate to Adam Jones who hit it over the wall in left field.

And that was that–enough to spoil a sweep, and another impressive outing by Hiroki Kuroda on soporific day at the park.

Drag.

Final Score: Orioles 2, Yanks 1.

Amidst all the unpredictability and chaos that has welled up this season, Saturday afternoon’s game was stunningly normal. It was a game we’ve all seen thousands of times, and there was something soothing about it, like a tall glass of lemonade on a hot summer day.

As it started out, it looked more like lemons. Andy Pettitte was on the mound for the Yanks, and he retired the first two batters quickly before giving up a single to left by Adam Jones. As Chris Davis dug in at the plate I wondered if there had ever been a hitter whose reality differs so much from the perception. Davis’s name and appearance are as plain as Peoria, but when his bat lifts off his shoulder he’s suddenly as dangerous as Detroit. After working the count full, Davis produced a high fly ball that concerned no one — not Pettitte, who stood on the mound patiently, not Michael Kay, who calmly described the lazy arc of the ball, not Brett Gardner, who cruised calmly back to the wall in center field, and not even Davis himself, who shook his head in disgust as he trotted out of the box. But then a funny thing happened — the ball just wouldn’t stop carrying, no doubt because of the 100° air, until it landed a few feet over the wall for a two-run homer.

The Orioles scored a third run in the second inning, and this one was also questionable. Nolan Reimold dribbled a ball down the third base line, and Pettitte had no option other than the Jeter Jump Throw™. But Pettitte is not Jeter, and the ball ended up down the right field line, allowing Reimold to make it to second. Alexi Casilla doubled two pitches later, bringing in Reimold and his unearned run.

The old Yankees — and by that I mean the Yankees from a week ago — would have curled up into a ball when faced with a 3-0 deficit against Chris Tillman in the top of the second, but these are the New Yankees! Travis Hafner led off the bottom of the second with a walk, then crisp singles from Zoilo Almonte and Lyle Overbay loaded the bases with none out. Luís Cruz then looped a base hit just in front of Reimold in left field, and the Yankees were on the board, 3-1. Eduardo Núñez stepped to the plate for the first time since May 10th and responded with a sacrifice fly to give the Yanks another run, but Overbay foolishly tried to advance to third on the play. He was thrown out easily for the second out, and the rally was essentially over. Chris Stewart made it official when he struck out looking.

The O’s picked up another run in the fourth when Taylor Teagarden cashed in a J.J. Hardy double to make the score 4-2, but the Yanks came back in the fifth with their new station-to-station offense. Núñez and Stewart opened the inning with singles, then moved over to second and third on Gardner’s sacrifice bunt. Ichiro flipped a looping liner over the mound that was flagged down by Brian Roberts at second; as good as the play was, it saved one run, not two, and the Yanks were within one at 4-3. Canó was up next, and he dumped an excuse-me single in front of Reimold to bring home Stewart to tie the game at four.

Pettitte rolled through the sixth, and the Yanks played some more small ball in their half. Overbay picked up his third hit of the game to lead off the inning, then moved to second on Cruz’s bunt, setting things up for Núñez to be the hero in his first game back. Nuney took the first pitch for a strike, then grounded the next one up the middle for a base hit. When third base coach Robby Thompson sent Overbay chugging around third to challenge Jones’s arm in center field, I was certain it was the wrong decision, but Jones’s throw was a bit up the line and Overbay scored the go-ahead run.

Nothing else really mattered except for the ninth inning and Mariano Rivera. If you look at the play-by-play, you’ll read about two ground balls, a single, and a strikeout, but that hardly tells the story. J.J. Hardy, Nate McClouth, Ryan Flaherty, and Chris Dickerson were all so overmatched that they couldn’t have been faulted had they each asked Rivera for his autograph before leaving the field. Hardy looked at one pitch, then squibbed a ball that barely made its way out to Canó, who flipped to first for out number one. Pinch hitter McClouth then hit another ball out to Canó, this one so soft that the play at first was close. Flaherty managed a base hit, but only because Rivera’s cutter so overwhelmed him that even with a full swing the ball only travelled about ninety feet before fluttering to the grass like a wounded bird in front of second. No matter. Rivera struck out Dickerson on three pitches to end the game. Yankees 5, Orioles 4. Same as it ever was.

It was Rivera’s 29th save of the season (and his 72nd save of a Pettitte victory), putting him on a pace for 54, which would be his career best. Here’s what I wrote about Rivera back on May 9th after he recorded his twelfth save:

Here’s something to watch for. It’s early, but the way this team is constructed, it wouldn’t be a surprise if Rivera actually topped his career high of 53 saves from back in 2004. Then he’d walk off into the sunset with a Cy Young Award, just like Koufax. Wouldn’t that be poetic?

The Cy Young Award seems less likely at this point, but here’s something else that would be poetic. After Saturday’s game we found out that Rivera had been named to the American League All-Star game, but that’s not good enough. Mariano Rivera should be the starting pitcher for the American League. I’m not the first to come up with this idea — I seem to remember Michael Kay suggesting this for the 2008 ASG in Yankee Stadium — but this would be the perfect year to do it.

There’s no need to have an actual starting pitcher start the game, since most pitchers only throw an inning or two anyway, even some of those who start the game. (Max Scherzer would be the starter most likely to start, but Detroit manager Jim Leyland has already indicated that Scherzer probably won’t be available to pitch that day.)

Rivera is having a phenomenal season and could end up with the highest single-season save total of his career. There’s no real guarantee that he would get into the game in the ninth inning, nor is there any guarantee that those final outs would be meaningful. So why not send him out to start? It might seem counterintuitive to have Rivera, the greatest closer of all-time, appear in his final all-star game as a starter (and Rivera might not even want to do it), but what better way is there to honor the greatest pitcher any of us will ever see?

[Photo Credit: Jim McIsaac/Getty Images]

Mid-90s sinker and a sharp-breaking curveball, that’s what Ivan Nova featured tonight. He was damn good, striking out 11 and throwing a complete game, the first of his career. He gave up a couple of runs in the 2nd inning when he hit a batter and then Matt Weiters hit an opposite field home run that bounced off the top of the wall.

But it looked as if Nova’s best would not be good enough. The Yankees left a pair of runners on base in the 4th and then had the bases loaded with 1 out in the 5th but Travis Hafner popped out to shallow center (after being ahead 3-0 and 3-1), and Vernon Wells popped out to Chris Davis at first base.

They trailed 2-1 and the bottom of the 9th went like this…

Jim Johnson to David Adams: Fastball, low for a ball. Fastball, high, fouled off, 1-1. Another fastball, middle middle, and Adams punches it to right field for a base hit.

Brett Gardner (double and then three strike outs for the game): Bunt, and a poor one. Got it in the air, toward second. Johnson got there in plenty of time, with time to go to second. But he muffs it and everybody is safe.

Ichiro: Bunts, right in front of the plate. Weiters fields it with his bare hand and throws to first for the out. Runners advance.

Robbie Cano: Intentionally walked.

Travis Hafner: (With a repeat of the 5th inning when Cano was walked to face Pronk.) Sinker, low in the dirt, nice block by Weiters, 1-0. Sinker low and outside, 2-0. Fastball high and outside, 3-0. And we’ve been here before. Fastball high, ball four. And the game is tied.

Vernon Wells (outfield comes in, infield comes in): Fastball inside, 1-0. Fastball tails inside, 2-0. Sinker, for a strike, 2-1. Johnson set, Wells calls time out. Breaking ball, the first one he’s thrown all inning and Wells fouls it off. Fastball, sharp ground ball, Manny Machado dives but it’s through the left side. Gardner scores, doesn’t slow down and sprints to first to congratulate Wells.

Final Score: Yanks 3, Orioles 2.

[Photo Credit: Frank Franklin II/Associated Press]

Well, so I’ve been waiting to use this photograph the entire series figuring the Yanks would lose and lose again to the Twins. But they didn’t, they didn’t blow the game yesterday and they didn’t waste a 9-1 lead today, although it got a little sweaty in the 8th inning before Shawn Kelly got them out of trouble.

So it turns out the Yankees are Sy Ableman after all. Okay, works for me.

Final Score: Yanks 9, Twins 5.

Time for cake:

It looked like another hard-luck outing for C.C. tonight. The Yanks trailed 2-0 but in the 6th, Brett Gardner led off with a walk, moved to third on a double by Ichiro and they both came home on a double by Robbie Cano, who has caught fire in the Heartland. Cano came round to score the go-ahead run on a sacrifice fly by Lyle Overbay.

C.C. threw 120 pitches, the last of which was dribbled slowly toward first base by Justin Morneau in the 7th with a runner in scoring position. C.C. fielded it and underhanded the ball to Overbay for the third out, protecting the lead.

David Robertson retired the Twins in order in the 8th and Mariano worked around a 1-out broken-bat bloop single in the 9th, retiring Joe Mauer on a pop-up to short to end the game. We have a few months left to savor Mo. And most of us around these parts do just that every time he takes the mound.

Final Score: Yanks 3, Twins 2.

A series win for the Yanks and a stirring performance by Sabathia. It’s one he’ll be extra proud of because tonight he earned the 200th win of his career.

Phil Hughes pitched well, people, and the Yankee offense is still eating meat, scrapping together a few runs–thank you Alberto “3 RBI” Gonzalez–before Robbie Cano pelted a three-run home run to put the game away.

Sure, Mariano Rivera had to come in to get a cheap-one out save in the 9th, but otherwise, not much to complain about.

Final Score: Yanks 7, Twins 3.

Hiroki Kuroda returned to New York for an MRI on his hip flexor but appears to be okay. Phew.

Yeah, the Yanks were down by a run in the 8th inning and yeah all seemed lost but then came an unexpected shipment of protein power from the rarely-seen Score Truck.

Double take. Spit take. And we’ll take it, thank you very much.

10-4, good buddy.

ESPN analyst Orel Hershiser summed things up nicely towards the end of Sunday night’s death march: “The players who should be on the bench are in the starting lineup, and the players who should be in the lineup are on the disabled list.” It’s nothing new, but if Mariano Duncan were still around, he’d probably print up t-shirts with that explanation emblazoned across the chest. Admitting the problem is the first step.

At first glance it seemed as if the Yankees might have had the edge in Sunday night’s matchup in Baltimore, with Hiroki Kuroda going up against Chris Tillman, but Tillman’s been pretty good this year. In fact, the Orioles had won Tillman’s last seven starts, and Tillman had gotten the win in all but one of those games. Any American League pitcher with a 9-2 record and an ERA under four must be doing something right, and Tillman’s doing something right.

Regardless of how good Tillman might be, the Orioles have been carried by their hitting, and it didn’t take long for the Baltimore bats to make themselves heard. With one out in the first inning, third baseman Manny Machado hit a clothesline into the left field bleachers to give the Orioles a 1-0 lead and send a dagger into the heart of Yankee Universe. Even with all the talk we hear about Mike Trout and Bryce Harper, Machado just might be the best of the three, and as he circled the bases I couldn’t help but wonder where the next Yankee hero might come from. The prospects we’ve waited patiently for over the past few years (Jesus Montero, Austin Jackson, Austin Romine, Eduardo Nuñez, Slade Heathcott, Brandon Laird, etc.) have either been traded away, failed to make the majors, or simply evolved into interchangeable parts. In Machado, the Orioles have the face of their franchise for the next fifteen years. Wouldn’t that be nice?

The Yankee hitters weren’t thinking about any of that, though, as they managed to scrape together enough offense to tie the game in the top of the second. With runners on first and third and two outs, David Adams walked to load the bases, and Brett Gardner followed that with another walk to force in a run. It wasn’t exciting, but it was a run!

Just a few minutes later the Orioles struck back with yet another home run from Chris Davis, his 31st of the season and third of the series, and Nate McLouth homered in the next inning to give Baltimore a 3-1 lead.

The Yankees, meanwhile, were hitting as if their bats were made of apple sauce instead of ash. Only nine hitters came to bat in the third, fourth, and fifth innings (Hafner singled in the third but was thrown out at second trying to stretch), and except for a ten-pitch at bat by Brett Gardner in the fifth, Tillman never once had to work hard.

Canó led off the sixth with a solo home run to right center, giving the Yankees just a glimmer of hope, but that hope never amounted to much more than a glimmer, even when they put two runners on in the seventh and again in the ninth. Somehow those two rallies never felt like rallies.

After the 4-2 loss, the Yankees now find themselves in fourth place in the five-team American League East, and it won’t be long before they’re in the cellar. These are dark days, my friend. Dark days.

[Photo Credit: Patrick Smith/Getty Images]

The Yankees got a couple of two-out singles in the first inning last night and then Ichiro! hit a Baltimore Chop off of home plate and high into the air which he of course beat out for a single. That was the highlight of the night for the Bombers. Well, Zoilo Almonte worked the count in his favor next and then put a good swing on a 3-1 pitch but Nick Markakis caught it in deep right field and that was that.

If you went to grab a bite or left the TV for a few minutes when you returned the O’s had put a beatin’ on David Phelps from which these gluten-free Yankees are ill-prepared to respond. It was 9-0, an old-fashioned ass-kicking, and certainly easier to stomach than Friday night’s loss. Chris Davis hit two bombs as the O’s cruised to an 11-3 lead.

The Lost Weekend, indeed.

It was a swift kick in the nuts kind of loss not because of a game-ending hit but because of a mid-innings comeback that vibrated, like the sensation of getting punched in the ball does, and lingered.

C.C. Sabathia had a no-hitter through five and a modest 3-0 lead. Considering all the hits the Yanks had in the early innings it should have been more but that’s how it goes when you’re on a non-gluten diet. In in the 6th, Nate McLouth led off with a hard single and then advanced to second on a bunt that rolled along the first base side of the field. David Adams, playing first, charged, leaving the bag open with no time for Robinson Cano, to cover. A mental mistake by Adams, for sure. The result, first and second and nobody out. Sabathia got Nick Markakis to pop out but then Manny Machado, that doubles-hitting machine–doubled to right center driving home both runners.

J. J. Hardy followed and popped out to centerfield and Machado took third, apparently catching Brett Gardner by surprise. The gamble paid off when Adam Jones had a cheap infield hit that scored the tying run.

Okay, 3-3 in the 7th. All was not lost. And Sabathia retired the first two hitters in bottom of the 7th before he left a flat breaking ball–slider or a curve–over the plate that McLouth sent over the right field wall. After he got the final out Sabathia returned to the dugout and rifled his mitt into the bench. He yelled and it was the most demonstrative show of emotion I remember seeing from him.

“You’ve got to finish the game, put a complete game together,” Sabathia said after the game. “I’m not saying go out and throw nine innings, but just put a good start, a complete start together. I feel like I haven’t done that all year.”

That one run lead was all the O’s would need as Tommy Hunter mowed the Yankees down in the final two innings and the O’s earned a 4-3 win.

Bollocks.

[Photo Credit: Doug Kapustin/Reuters]

Phil Hughes allows a couple of runs in 8 innings of work, a nice day for any pitcher, but particularly for someone as inconsistent as Hughes. Course Derek Holland goes out and masters the Yankee hitters and shuts their asses out on 92 pitches, giving up only 2 hits.

Go fuggin’ figure.

Final Score: Rangers 2, yanks 0.

[Photo Via: Lomography]

I missed the damn game and only saw that Joba got rocked and the Yanks lost, 8-5. But what’s a game when you’ve got Alex Rodriguez vs. the Yanks to keep you engaged (never mind the news that Mark Teixeira is lost for the season).

Here’s the latest in this silly big bucks soap opera of he-said, he-said from tabloid vets Bill Madden and Wallace Matthews.

Let’s pick this up at 3-1 in the fifth inning. Leonys Martin had just hit his second homer of the night off Hiroki Kuroda and Yu Darvish had a two-run lead to protect against this year’s gluten-free version of the Yankee lineup. Darvish dropped a little curve ball into Brett Gardner’s trigger zone – low and in – and boom, 3-2.

This curve ball was not the worst curve ball Darvish threw all night, but it was the wrong pitch in the wrong spot to the second best hitter on the New York Yankees (shudder). No, the honors for the worst curve ball of of the night must be split between the loopy bits of nothing Darvish threw to Travis Hafner (in the fourth) and to Jason Nix (in the seventh) which were both also hit for solo jacks.

Yu Darvish has been ridiculously good this year, loading up strikeouts against very few hits and walks. The only thing keeping him from full flight is a few more homers than you’d like to see – 14 after tonight. I can’t speak for the first 11, but for one game at least, he was handing out lollipops.

I snuggled up with Willa, the recent addition in our house and main reason why I’m not around the Banter much this season, and administered her first full-inning dose of Mariano Rivera. She stretched out on my chest and filled her diaper just about the time that Mo’s nastiest cutter reduced Lance Berkman’s bat to so many matchsticks.

Both catchers gunned down potential base stealers in the late innings to ratchet up the excitement a few notches. Chris Stewart pegged Elvis Andrus with the help of Robinson Cano’s nifty sweep tag. But A.J. Pierzynski evened the ledger by wiping Brett Gardner off the map in the bottom of the ninth. If you told me a few years ago that Brett Gardner became the Yankees second best offensive player while simultaneously losing his ability to steal bases, I’d have asked you how you got a hold of Doc Doom’s time machine and why you hadn’t also altered the 2001 and 2004 postseasons if you were planning on creating alternate Yankee universes.

The game seemed destined for extra innings, though with Rivera and Robertson nothing more then empty casings on the dugout floor heading to the top of the 10th, not many extra would likely be required. Then with two strikes and two outs, Ichiro lashed out and bit into a 97 MPH heater from Tanner Scheppers and ended things right then and there. Yankees 4, Rangers 3.

Hiroki Kuroda and Yu Darvish battled to a stand still. Darvish was more brilliant, but inefficient and only lasted six innings. Kuroda had plenty left in the tank and only came out because Leonys Martin had his number. And if any Japanese fans (I know a few who scalped tickets tonight) felt they didn’t get their money’s worth with the double no-decision from the starters, they hit the jackpot when Ichiro said sayonara.

And here’s our newest fan, as captured by my wife just after the homer, happy with a great victory over a good team.

Photos by Jason Szenes (1 & 2) / Getty Images & Kathy Willens (3) / AP & Amelia DeRosa (4)